#2396 - Andrew Schulz

[00:00] the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day getting into AI music at all music I [00:18] A little, a little, a little. [00:20] Listen, they're taking 50 Cent songs. I knew you were going to bring that. That I heard. You've heard Many Men, right? Yeah, it's incredible. Have you heard What Up Gangster? No, no, let me hear it. No, you haven't. The Many Men one is fantastic. The Many Men's amazing. Yeah. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Before you, hold up, he's not on. Oh, my bad, my bad. [00:36] What's this? [00:37] You got to hear this. You got to hear this. [00:51] Wait till you hear this flow. [01:01] Woo! Woo! Here we go. [01:07] I'm not the type of stuff.

[01:37] Go! Go! [02:00] This is fantastic. So good. How much of this is like one prompt or is there like a guy [02:08] Jamie's the answer to that because Jamie's done a bunch of them. [02:11] Yeah, like how much of this is like actually editing and somebody who understands producing music like constantly prompt it? No. [02:20] Prompt for five words. Holy shit. Say 1950s soul music. It's so easy. You want a cigar? You want an early morning cigar? Let's burn a cigar. Let's burn one down, man. Yeah. [02:33] Let's go. [02:34] Oh, man. 50. [02:37] 50's the man. Let's be toxic rich dudes. Yes let's do it. [02:43] When are we starting? Have we started? Yeah, we're rolling. We're rolling. Are these your personal ones? No, these are from Foundation Cigars. These are, I don't know what they're called, but these are fucking legit. [02:57] Thank you. [02:58] My man. What happened to yours? I still have those. Those are nice. Oh, those are great. We've got a nice little box right here. I just opened this box the other day. Nice.

[03:09] Foundation. [03:11] Where are these from? Probably Nicaragua. I think that's where he's got his thing. Hey, go on. [03:16] Thank you. [03:17] Thank you. [03:17] I got you. [03:18] Thank you. [03:19] What's the rules on that? About Nicaragua? Mm-mm. Oh, okay. Yeah. [03:28] It's like a man taking you shopping. [03:31] You hear 50 say that about to? Why are you going to take me shopping for? And then he looked at Meek Mills' post, and they were wearing the same shirt. And Diddy and Meek were wearing the same shirt. He's like, see, that's why I don't let him take me shopping. [03:47] I'm 50, so funny. But you realize how good his lyrics are when you can't run through AI. Like, you revisit the lyrics. Like, the Many Men lyrics are fantastic. Yeah, the Many Men song, it almost works better. [04:00] Right? It's like a, what was that, like 50s? Soul. Soul, yeah. Well, if that dude was a real dude, he would be the biggest fucking artist on earth right now. If that was his song, if it wasn't written by 50, it was his song... [04:14] And he put it out right now. Everybody would be like, oh, my God. Who the fuck is this guy? You just picture him looking like just perfect, like, Cat Williams-type suit on stage, you know, just going off, sweating, wiping his head with a towel. [04:31] Full blast. Yeah, just like you know Deacon fucking 9000 RPMs

[04:41] The idea is like you working out to 50 soul 50 cent. Oh, I do yeah, I do all the time. Yeah, yeah I'm working in there with Wu-Tang with Wu-Tang. Wu-Tang is my favorite work. Daddy Kane. Yeah, Big Daddy Kane. Yeah [04:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah, G rap have you ever talked to a [04:59] Do you ever listen to EPMD? Oh, fuck yeah. You ever talk to Eric Sermon? No, never have. No, never have. Yeah. I love those guys. I can't believe you and 50 have never connected. I met him once. I interviewed him for UFC a long time ago. Where? I don't remember. It might have been Vegas. It was a UFC event in Vegas, and he was there. I don't know if he was releasing something or whatever it was. I sat next to him. That shit is harsh. It's good, right? That's a good one, but that's a strong one. It's a Maduro. Yeah. I like them robust. [05:29] I bet. Yeah. I'm glad I let my own. [05:34] Okay, wait. So, wait. You met him. You were at the UFC fight. Yeah, yeah. There was a UFC event. [05:39] This is how long ago? A long time ago, man. I had hair. So I've got to be pretty sweet. There it is right there. [05:45] Oh, so this is like when he's in the middle of his stuff with... [05:49] I mean, I got to say this is probably 2007 or something like that. [05:55] But he was always involved with something who's always beefing with somebody yeah, that was funny because when I we're in a He's in that Street Fighter movie. So we were in Australia filming like I saw the guys with him and like I recognized like a couple like it was a Security, but they didn't look like like one guy looked like actual professional security and I was like I was like, oh, that's that's that guy looks like that's his real job being security Not what I'm used to seeing 50 with right and he goes yeah, man Can't get in the country with felonies, bro

[06:23] I had to bring the clean ones. [06:25] so so like the real people that he has around wow you gotta bring clean security clean security professionals there's different levels of professionals yeah well there's people that know things yeah sometimes you go to like a city or state and you need to know those things you need to know things yeah some people need to know things sometimes you gotta check in with folks that's the thing your guys are the best of it your guys hit me up which is they're like yeah [06:55] so just don't go to New Mexico. And I was like, all right, bet. I won't do that. They're like, she said she wanted to kill somebody else. I wouldn't even say their names. I don't want to give him any. But like, yeah, as long as you don't go to New Mexico, you should be good. I'm like, no plans. [07:08] Allegedly. Yeah. Yeah, it's wild times. [07:12] Wild times. Mm-hmm. [07:14] Mm-hmm. [07:15] Wild times when people celebrate people getting killed now. Like, that never happened before. Like, even when someone bad got killed before, you're like, oh, wow, that's kind of crazy. I've been thinking a lot about this. [07:26] And I think that like... [07:28] I don't think we all exist in the same reality anymore. Not on some multiverse shit. Right. But just like how... How you see the world. Yes. Yes. And it's like, especially with Charlie's death, because... [07:38] I was in Australia when it happened, so I had time. [07:41] Like, I wasn't doing pods. I wasn't doing stand-up. I'm just, like, sitting around in a trailer. I'll do this movie. So I started watching, like, a bunch of his stuff. [07:48] Also, I want to say he did something really cool. I didn't really know him, but he DMed a couple times, but... [07:53] He saw a headline about me once, and he DM'd me. And I don't even have a relationship with this guy. He goes, this headline looks a little weird. Like, I know we don't really know each other, but, like, is this what you meant?

[08:03] Thank you. [08:04] And like there are people who I know I've considered colleagues that haven't even afforded that to me. [08:10] They just ran with a headline and made a video, got clicks, views, or whatever like that. This guy I don't even know hits me up and goes, is this what you meant? [08:17] Thank you. [08:18] This summer, the Cup is taking over the U.S., and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat all the big matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. [08:48] with code rogan spend five bucks to get 200 in rewards within 21 days that's code rogan in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 877-8-hope-and-wire text hope and why 467-369-21 and over new york only eligibility restrictions apply bonus bets expire seven days after issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources cdkng.co slash audio limited time offer [09:15] This episode is brought to you by Traeger Grills. If you enjoy food, and I mean really good food, Traeger is a game changer. This isn't just a grill. It's the ultimate way to cook outdoors, delivering unbeatable wood-fired flavor thanks to the all-natural hardwood pellets that fuel everything you grill, smoke, or bake. That's it. Just wood and fire and flavor. And what's truly wild is how easy it is.

[09:45] handle the rest. Grilled steaks, smoked ribs, even baked pizza, all on one grill. If you're into fire, flavor, and doing things right, check out Traeger Grills. [09:57] This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist and trust me, I know. I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They [10:27] eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The farmer's dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier. And isn't getting more time with our four-legged best friends something every dog [10:57] that... [10:57] is yes, obviously. So try the Farmer's Dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food. [11:06] Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash rogan. This offer is for new customers only. Yeah. Very cool. I met him once at a gun range. Oh, really? Yeah, I met him at Taron Tactical. So I was down there training.

[11:22] Do you know what Taron's act was? This is the one where you see a lot of celebs. The one where you see celebs. He trained Keanu Reeves for John Wick. He's the man. Taron Butler is a multiple-time world champion shooter of those events that they have where it's timed or a shooter ready. So I met him there. [11:43] Seemed like a real nice guy. You know, I didn't know anything about him back then. I didn't know much about his beliefs and views that were controversial until after he got killed. And then people started sending me stuff and I was like, okay. [11:58] What's the context of this? Yeah, he shouldn't have said it that way. There were some ones that we've talked about before, one specifically. [12:07] But look, the fucking guy, first of all, was 31 years old. Yeah. All right. When I was 31, thank God there wasn't. [12:14] like twitter or especially when i was 21 oh my god thank god yeah thank god you know judging like that that's like that nick fuentes kid he's like 26 like thank god it didn't exist when i was fucking 21 dude yeah i was a fucking moron i was a complete moron like most people especially if you grow up around morons yeah but um i think he he said a few things that if i was his friend i [12:44] trying to say. But don't ever say, [12:47] When I go into a cockpit, I hope that the pilot, if he's black, is qualified. I know what you're trying to say. You shouldn't hire underqualified pilots. Yeah. But saying it like that. Just because of the color of their skin. He's probably not hanging out with black people, not knowing how offensive that's going to be to them. How you got to go, that's not what I meant. Like, you got to, that's not what I meant before you say it. Yeah. You got to run it through the filter like, what am I trying to say? Yeah.

[13:11] We all don't want unqualified people to do dangerous fucking jobs, period. It doesn't matter what race they are. If all of a sudden white people became a minority and they had to start hiring dopey whites. We'd be upset. He makes that argument a lot. He makes it with sports. [13:26] He's like, all right, if the NFL is going to be 50% black and – Right, right, right. But again, the context is taken out. Yes. And I think that's what happened. The algorithm flattens all of us into a two-dimensional person. And only the views that tap into your biggest insecurities, your biggest fears – not the views, only the lines we say or the videos, whatever, that tap into those things. Or what terrible things you want confirmed. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. Things you want confirmed. That's what the algorithm does. And – [13:54] I realized it when I was doing a promo tour for Life, my last special, right? [14:00] I would go on a couple of pods and, [14:01] that like... [14:04] And like... [14:04] Maybe like 10, 15, 20 minutes into the conversation, I would realize like, oh, wow, they have a very different view of me. [14:14] than me. The New York Times one. No, well, the New York Times one, I was like expecting it for sure. But even when I went on Dax's podcast, Dax knew me. But his his co host, I was like, oh, she has an idea of me that's like, cultivated by the internet and headlines. Exactly. And it's just a flattened version. Right? It's like, there's really no humanity in it. It's just these are the [14:36] People are saying that I'm saying with no context. Right. And then you just create an archetype. And like, I think in a lot of ways, that's the Charlie thing to the furthest extreme. Right. It's just like, if you're on the right, there's one version of Charlie. If you're on the left, there's another version of Charlie. Right. And...

[14:52] When he died, this person that you saw is like a good God-fearing man. [14:58] you're like heartbroken by it. And then on the left, this person you saw that was like bigoted or hateful, you're like, okay, I'm not really heartbroken by it. Some people are even crazy enough to be like, he deserved it or this is what you get, right? But they can only have that feeling if he's completely dehumanized the version of him that they see all the time. That happens to you, it happens to me, it happens to like anybody who's on the internet talking, you know, for a few hours a week. And when I saw that shit, and especially I saw like that, this visceral reaction to Charlie, [15:27] That's what sows the insanity in the country because the people on the left are seeing the people on the right be heartbroken, but they're like, why are you heartbroken over this guy who's a bigot? And the people on the right are seeing the people on the left celebrate and they're like, why are you celebrating the death of this God-fearing family, man? [15:42] And both sides just think each other is absolutely insane. Yeah. When in reality, he's neither of those cartoons. Right. Right. Yeah. So I was just the life thing when I was talking to those people, I was like, you know, 20 or 30 minutes in the conversation. Oh, wow. Like, yeah, you're not kind of who I thought you were. [16:01] Right. I'm like, yeah, because you let people tell you who I was in 30-second clips. Yeah. It's not like I have four hours of podcasting every single week that you can indulge in to figure it out. What do they try to label you as? Like what is the – what's the angle they take on you? Is it you're part of the manosphere? Oh, you're heterosexual. That's a problem. And I hate it. Heterosexual is a real problem in this day and age. Yeah. No, no. It's – yeah, I think that like – Manosphere, podcast bros.

[16:31] And I think that this is kind of a new iteration post-election. [16:35] So I think what a lot of people are struggling with the fact is they're trying to find a way that – [16:40] the Democrats lost the election without taking any accountability for like what they were doing. So it's like, oh, because he went on Rogan and Schultz and Theo's podcast. That's the reason why he won. It's like now they kind of ran a dead guy that was very unpopular. And then they ran a woman that can't really talk that well. And they have an open border for four years that freaked everybody out. Sure, sure. But like in New York, people aren't really worried about the open border. Oh, they were. You don't think they were? [17:10] had been shipped there that they were putting up in the Roosevelt Hotel. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no. The mine crisis, for sure, like New York, I think, like, affected people. I'm not saying it didn't. But, like... [17:19] I don't think that they attach it to the border. I think they're more just like, well, just don't send them here. [17:25] You know what I mean? Just keep them down there or whatever. You guys chose to live near the border. Do you remember when they sent them to Martha's Vineyard? Oh, yeah. They sent them to Martha's Vineyard. Get the fuck out of here. They moved about so quick. Martha's Vineyard is all liberals, bro. It's all super rich Mercedes-driving limo people. It's the NIMBYism. What is it called? Not in my backyard? Exactly. Right? That's like that. And there's Ezra Klein. Do you know Ezra? Yes. [17:55] He's – it's so funny because, like, he's trying to be reasonable right now. He's, like, trying to have a – No, and they're calling him a right wigger. And I keep hitting him up, and I'm like, bro, you're doing the right thing.

[18:04] When when there are groups that like hate you because you're actually trying to like win an election, you're trying to be reasonable. He had this whole thing about like, hey, the reason why they can build a lot of buildings in Texas and why we can't in Los Angeles is because there are restrictive laws and people are like. [18:20] this guy's an animal. [18:22] I'm like, all right, buddy. I don't know what to do. So I understand that frustration. Shit, I've felt it a million different times. Like you try to be nuanced and reasonable. There's really no place on the internet for it. [18:35] Because why would the algorithm reward anything nuanced and reasonable? That's not entertaining. I want to see Nick Fuentes talk shit. Right. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to see like a thoughtful take from some like TV host. You want Sam Hyde. Get wild, Sam. Yeah. You know what I mean? Get wild. Now, does it mean that I agree with these things? No. No. But the algorithm doesn't know what you agree with or not. They just know what you click on, share. [19:05] So when wild people break through and everybody goes, ah! Bro, what was the first thing we did with Sora? [19:11] You got MLK giving a speech and a Down Syndrome kid walks up and goes, peanut butter. Right, right. Well, how about those videos where they had Trump playing in a band and Clinton was on the saxophone? Did you ever see those? No. Oh, my God. They're incredible. We're going to make the most— They're playing Creedence Clearwater Revival together. Fortunate son. I mean, I still like it when the Down Syndrome kid comes up and just says, peanut butter. It's all good. It's guilt-free because he's not a real person. Right. He's made up right here. Right, right, right. You can laugh at him. We can laugh because it's not a real person. Right.

[19:41] like what about AI Down Syndrome porn? [19:45] The sounds would be crazy. I mean, we got to see it just for the sounds. Did they just announce that is OpenAI doing an erotica version? Peanut butter. [20:00] No, they said they wouldn't censor it. They're like, it's not our job to be the moral police. Oh, well, then it's over. Then it's Andrew Schultz porn all day long. So that's a crazy thing. Can they do? Hey, bro. You handsome devil. Hey, the mustache. [20:15] of the world after erotica chat gpt post blows up so that's the thing can you do it can you make porn with us or can you just make it look like random 100% can with you with what about you i just want you to feel it hit me with the spider-man me i mean we make porn with you do it get him well it's going to be a real problem with female celebrities and it already has been a problem [20:45] with Photoshop the second Photoshop came out yep yep yep there was like tons of porn who's the lady that ran for president from Alaska oh Sarah Palin yeah Sarah Palin was like every single porn video yeah so yeah why would they not do it they're doing it 100% the thing is a real thing we won't be upset as long as like we're we're throwing it down like we'll be upset if like our wives are in it right that'll be an issue if somebody makes a porn where I got like a huge cock and I'm just fucking shut up [21:11] But the problem is it's going to be your wife getting teamed on. It won't even be like fun. Why are we putting these things out there? Why do you keep giving them ideas? The internet is a dangerous place. It always ends up with me getting fucked.

[21:26] Yeah, the world's dark right now with this because there's no rules and people are just – it's sort of like if you gave the world matches for the first time. And they're like, I could just start a fire. Do you think they did that initially when they created fire? They're like, we need some rules for this shit. [21:41] We just can't let everybody do it. We for sure should. [21:44] I mean, I thought about that before. Was that like the original gun control? How weird is it that I don't even have to have a license? [21:49] To have one of the most powerful forces in the world upon my hand. And I could be six. Okay. Imagine after the Chicago fire, right? Like 80% of the city is decimated. I don't even know what year that is. Probably 1800s or something like that. Did they say, hmm, maybe we're going to take matches away from these motherfuckers. Or like fireplaces or something. Right. I bet they didn't let you build a house out of wood anymore. [22:11] All houses are made out of wood. Yeah, but we need concrete or something. No, that's not why they did that. Why'd they do it? [22:19] and from the cold, it's better... If you have... I would imagine there's a bunch of reasons to make something out of brick. [22:29] It's more, it's hard to get into. Well, I imagine you mean that. It won't light on fire. Concrete is. Yeah. I mean, they're making, by the way, they probably should have did this a long time ago, but they're making fireproof houses now in like Malibu and places like that. Rich people. Yeah. You would imagine like if you're living in a place that like. [22:47] Once the fire hits, no one's stopping shit. You know, they just busted somebody for that? I know. I saw that. Like the person who started the fire. Yeah. It wasn't in Palisades. It was like the one that connected to it or something like that. Something like that. But this dude was like really into fires. Like he had a bunch of chat GPT prompts about fires. That's an interesting autism right there. It's a weird one, man. You could have had trains or dinosaurs, but. You got fires. You got fires, bro.

[23:17] He had a fake fire truck, and he was at the Palisades fire. He was a convicted arsonist. How much Tylenol your mom takes that you end up wanting a fake fire truck? He bought a fire truck. Oh, so a real fire truck. Yeah, he bought a fire truck, painted the logo on it, whatever, and then drove it to the Palisades where the fires were. Oh, and they started the fires, but nobody suspected it. They don't know if he started fires. They don't know. But they do know that this arsonist was at the fires with a fire truck. [23:46] And they're like, you're not a fireman, dude. In fact, you're the opposite of a fireman. That's the thing. That's why it's kind of... [23:52] It's like a brilliant disguise. Yeah. [23:55] Well, in the middle of the chaos, you know, Huberman filmed a bunch of guys lighting fires. [24:00] He said it was nuts. He said there was like teams of people running around starting fires while the fires were going on. He said he watched people do it. People were screaming at him and honking their horn. They arrested people that were doing it. So once chaos breaks, it's like they did a study a while back where they parked a car on the campus of Stanford. And they parked a car, I think it was in the Bronx. [24:30] They they had families coming in taking the battery and like openly because they had cameras on it. Yeah, the the car in Stanford didn't get fucked with at all. I [24:40] They left it alone. [24:41] Until someone broke, they said, let's just mix this up and break one of the windows. So they smashed the window, and then within a day, it was like stripped apart. The guy that was going in, they caught him at a checkpoint, but I think they're alluding that he was probably going to go try to.

[24:58] Rob the houses. There was a bunch of tools that they say were used in burglary. Interesting. Well, he's probably trying to do that, too. I mean, he's a piece of shit. But wasn't he already an arsonist before this? Yes, yes, yes. [25:10] Yeah, he's just an all-around piece of shit. It's not like, hey, I'm an arsonist, but I'm not a fucking thief. I wouldn't steal jewelry. Come on. [25:19] I saw people just running out of people's houses with TVs, like people were filming it from the street. Yeah. Just breaking in, kicking the door in, just running in. Teams of people with masks on. Yeah. Yeah, robbing somebody's personal home feels different. I mean, it's fucked up to just break into a Kmart or any of those things. But you see how a little bit you get caught up in, I don't want to call it the excitement, but you're a little fucking kid and something's going down. You're like, all right, let's get after it. [25:49] Home is a little. It's horrible. Yeah. It's evil. Yeah, because there's like a person behind it, whereas like Kmart is like this corporation. Also, they're always going to know you were in their home. Like for the rest of their life. Yeah. They live with that. As long as they're back in that house, they're going to know that when the fires broke out, you kicked in their front door and ransacked their house. And now they're sitting in it. If the house didn't burn down, now they're sitting in the house. The house probably burned down. Yeah. Which is, I guess, their logic is like get in there now.

[26:19] Rolex. Let's go get it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. [26:23] It's crazy how, like, the fires weren't even that long ago. [26:26] I know. [26:28] It wasn't that long ago, but they haven't even touched a house. Adam Carolla just did a video about it. What did he say? First of all, he called it. Carolla called it a long time ago because Carolla has been involved in construction his whole life. So he knows how hard it is to get permits to build in the Palisades. It's like no one is going to rebuild. But they haven't even touched it. Yeah, but I think they just said that they're going to start stripping back some of that legislation. Exactly. They're going to start putting low-income housing up there. This is what happened with – I think it was in Philadelphia, right? [26:58] I think it was, there was like a bridge that collapsed. Yeah. [27:01] Remember this? Was this in Philly, Pennsylvania? And I think the governor was like, OK, we have to rebuild this because obviously there's going to be like huge traffic situations. And we just we need this thing. This is just how humans are going to kind of get around. And so they stripped all legislation and they were able to put it up in a matter of weeks, if I'm not mistaken. Jamie, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. [27:21] I know what you're talking about. I remember that story. I remember something. How long would this take if we didn't strip all the legislation? They're like 16 to 18 months. [27:29] So you did it in three weeks compared to 16, 18 months. And I think this is where people get like frustrated with all the, the, the bureaucracy and the red tape. Now, [27:39] I also believe in some red tape. [27:42] Like I live in New York City. There's somebody renovating above us right now. [27:46] I got a kid. [27:47] You know what I mean? So it's like I would like a little red tape to make sure they're just not hammering 24 hours a day. Right. We live on top of each other.

[27:54] You live in Texas. There's probably – you don't even see your neighbor. You could have a little less red tape. Right. [28:00] But then we get to a point in New York where it's like, okay, is it impossible to renovate ever? Yeah. [28:04] Maybe that's too much. But there needs to be some in different situations. 100%. I completely agree. [28:09] I got in a conversation about that a long time ago with Dave Rubin, where we were talking about regulations for construction sites, that you don't need inspectors. And I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, that's – bro, they'll put the cancer in the kid's cereal. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. Like, if you don't regulate the food, they'll put anything in it. Well, that's – So you need to have somebody looking after this shit. It's in it right now. This is this RFK Jr. shit where they're turning him into a quack, and these companies are going to go under if they have to follow these regulations. [28:39] following them already in Canada. Exactly. It's like... Same factory. Same Froot Loops. And now we've got to feel bad for Kellogg's. [28:47] Right? We're like, "Oh my God, they're not going to make it. Poor Kellogg's." [28:51] Newsom just veto a bill that would stop forever chemicals. There was a bill that would stop forever chemicals being used on, I think, cooking utensils. There's certain nonstick cookware that has forever chemicals on it, and you're scraping it with a metal spatula that will probably get in your diet. Not good. I think they were banning it. Why would he do that? I think he vetoed it. He vetoed a California bill banning cookware with PFAS's forever chemicals.

[29:21] shift sparking debate among chefs lawmakers and environmentalists no no the bill stops poison bro the bill stops poison for going into human bodies yeah yeah yeah you profit monster yeah did you you fucking profit monster did you did you see uh there's a there's a van van lathan was asking him about apac did you see this [29:43] He just says something. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just so interesting. It's just interesting. What's interesting about it? I mean, it's not something I, you know. I don't think about it. I don't. I don't think about it. It's just interesting. It's interesting. I'm interested. What the fuck did you just say? I'm interested. Now I'm interested. Now I'm interested. [30:00] Yeah, when is he coming on? He's talking some shit on Twitter. I know. You think that's going to work? That's so stupid. This is such a bad look. It's such a bad choice. There's a little desperation in it. But it's just stupid. It's like, this is a bad strategy. I probably would have had him on. But now I'm like, what are you doing? There is a fun version where you just do it and cook them. [30:24] You know? [30:25] He'll cook himself. I mean, that seems to be already happening. All you have to do is just ask him questions. Yeah, it's like, why are people leaving? Why do you say this thing all the time where you rattle off all the good things about California? When everybody says something bad about California, it's like, number one in Fortune 500 companies, number one in higher education. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all that shit before you were there. It was all that shit forever. It's because the weather's perfect, man. It has nothing to do with you. California's an unbelievable state. Amazing. This is just what we have to call it. Mouths in the oceans, two hours apart.

[30:55] unbelievable. [30:56] Yeah, it's nuts. It's probably in terms of like one place, if you had to live in one state for the rest of your life. [31:04] One state for the rest of your life. You could never move. And that was the only place you could live. [31:08] It's California. It's like not even a question. Yeah, it's perfect. If you want snow, you can have snow. If you want to be in San Diego on the beach all day, you have the San Diego on the beach. You can surf, you can snow, but you can do whatever the fuck you want. You want to be a farmer, go far. You've got all kinds of parts of San Francisco, all kinds of parts of Oakland, all kinds of parts of the San Fernando Valley. It's so different. It's like there's so many different ways you can live in California. But there are fucking problems and people are leaving. [31:38] of how you've been managing it. Yeah. Like, Hollywood... [31:43] I've been talking to like people who are making films like the producers of films not like the actors right like the actual people are putting the money up to make films right because they'll give you the real right like we're filming in Australia. I'm like guys why the fuck are we filming Australia Australia is nice but. [31:58] Why the fuck are we here? [31:59] And they're like, you can't make a movie in Hollywood. [32:01] I go, what do you mean you can't make money? They go, you can't. I go, where was Hollywood on the list of places we could film? [32:07] Give me the number. And they're like, not even top 10. [32:11] Not even top 10. [32:13] Wow. It was Australia. You get 60% off in taxes or something like that. 60? 60. We're talking about if you're making like a $10 million rom-com, that's one thing. If you're making a $100 million, $200 million film –

[32:27] 60% off in taxes. Yeah. So something's happened in LA. And it's fucked up because I look at LA kind of like a college football town. But college football is the film industry. And it's like, if you don't nurture that, I'm not worried about the actors. [32:43] It's like there's guys who do the lighting. They do transpo. These are guys who are like – they're like working class guys. They make good money. Don't get me wrong. Right. [32:51] That goes away. [32:52] The crew that came out to film, like a lot of the crew that came out to film in Australia was from L.A. And a lot of them have moved out of L.A. They've moved to like San Diego, like my boy Nick. [33:01] He's like, yeah, there's just no work in L.A. right now, so we'll travel for the job, and then I just live the rest of my time in San Diego. That's a problem. [33:08] Netflix just built this like billion dollar fucking studio in Jersey. Did you see this? No. So like they're going to start taking production over there. [33:16] I'm just saying like you have the industry that everybody knows Los Angeles for. [33:21] What other thing do we know L.A. for? That's it. It's being famous. Music, movies, movies. [33:27] Yeah, it's all L.A. [33:28] That's all LA is. I don't even know what music is coming out of there anymore. Like when we were kids, you think about like what those iconic like rock and roll venues. Right. [33:37] Well, it's also a town of lost children, right? Like one of the problems with L.A. is like if you wanted to talk about a town that doesn't have like – [33:46] emotional base that's healthy like the main motivation of a good percentage of the people that came out there is to just to get attention [33:56] to make up for a shitty childhood.

[33:59] Like, that's the main... [34:01] the main population la is is attention to make up for a shitty childhood new york is money to make up for a shitty child that's really what it is yes it's like new york is the hedge funds of the banks because it's like okay my dad wasn't around my mom hated me but i'm gonna make a billion dollars and my mom was on pills and barely there and you know yeah sociopathy i could be this [34:31] And then L.A. is the same thing, but it's just passing the back. I want people to love me. Yeah, it's both two different versions of American Psycho. Yeah. I'm trying to wonder, like, which one is worse? [34:42] New York is better because at least they have more information. They have more things they can talk to you about. What I would say about New York is like – [34:51] We still appreciate greatness, even if you're not... [34:55] Even if you're not wealthy. So like the best skateboarder. [34:58] is really cool in New York. Yeah. The best street artist is really cool. Right, right, right. Whereas I think L.A., because it's built around the entertainment industry, it's like whatever's hot. [35:07] You could have a dog shit movie, but if it's the biggest movie... [35:11] You're the guy. Yeah. And because there is that dependence on like star power over there. Uh-huh. Where I think New York is like, the kind of dependence is the banks. [35:19] Like the industry doesn't rely. So like we get to masquerade as like really enjoying artists. Right. Like you could be a bad motherfucker and be playing in like subway tunnels. And people like, oh, this guy's the dial-ist. And some guys do like make it out of there like that. Like Charlie Crockett. Busking, I believe it's called. Well, yeah. Charlie Crockett used to just pull up and start playing. You don't know who Charlie Crockett is? No. Do they do a 50s version of his music? No, no, no. That's the only way I know. No. He does like a 50s version of his music.

[35:49] a country guy who was a street kid. [35:51] Oh. Yeah, man. My bad, Charlie. He's a bad motherfucker. My bad, Charlie. He's really good, man. I was not familiar with your game. He's got a voice where you're like, oh, this guy's seen some shit. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Okay, I got to check that. So he used to... This is fire. He would sing on fucking subway cars. He would sing in the tunnels. Yeah. He would do his shit on street corners. He was homeless for a long time. Yeah. And now he's killing it. Yeah. Very, very interesting guy. [36:21] That's New York, right? He was in New York doing country music outside. Yeah. You can do stuff like that in New York and people are like, look at this bad motherfucker. That's the thing. You do it in L.A., they're like, you fucking loser. You're never going to be Bruce Springsteen. They don't care about the best pool player in L.A. [36:38] No. But New York, there's like a little bubble that you could exist in where you're like the king of the fucking castle. It's true. L.A. has no pool halls. And it's just like another version. It's like everything is geared around entertainment. And I get it. That's it. It's like if you're the coach of the football team in Ohio State, like you're the guy. Yeah. [36:56] But... [36:57] I think it's kind of cool in New York that you have these little bubbles where – [37:00] People really value this niche thing that you do. Well, New York has strong communities of bubbles, right? The pool thing is a good example because LA at one time had Hollywood Billiards, which was a 24-hour pool hall that was filled with hustlers. It was like a notorious place. If you were a New York pool player and you were coming to LA, you went to Hollywood and you went downstairs and there was all these – you could get a game. You could get a game with some fucking killers. Every pool hall is the same, bro. It's underground.

[37:30] Thank you. [37:31] A lot of them. At least back where I'm... That was Chelsea. Chelsea Village was underground, too. Like, some of the big... And then the one up on 86, was it... [37:38] I think at one point it was Amsterdam, but it was upstairs. And then there was another one on 86th Street on the east side that was downstairs. Oh, yeah. The downstairs one's probably shiftier. That was the one that Nicky Shulman, the guy I was telling you about that I went to middle school with in elementary school. Oh, he would go to that one? That's what we would just go during lunch. And I was like, why does this guy like this place? There was hundreds of pool halls in the 90s when I lived in New York. Hundreds. You'd go to these like 24-hour Chinese joints. Yeah, yeah. [38:08] English. But my point is, LA only had one. My boy, this Chinese kid, we called him Cowboy. He was at our school. The kid had the strongest Chinese accent. I think he was born in America. It was crazy. I didn't even understand. I was like, this guy's got to be putting it on. He lived in the Chinese version of the projects in Chinatown. [38:32] And [38:32] He had a pool table in his apartment. [38:36] Whoa. There was no room in the apartment. It's the projects, right? Like I'm watching his mom skirt around the pool table. Half the shots you came to do, but the obsession was unreal. And Cowboy was legit. Yeah. You need a place to practice in the dark when no one's looking. That's the thing about pool players. You want to get good when no one's watching so you can sneak up on people. Oh, yeah. So they have this idea how good you play, but you play a lot better than that. You've got to be able to practice in silence when no one's around. But now with the internet, you can't hustle anymore.

[39:06] There's no hustling anymore. There's like maybe a few guys that could pull it off on idiots. Yeah. [39:11] But amongst high-level guys, all the action is knocked. My point was there's only one place in all of L.A. L.A. had [redacted address] that was pretty good. There was a place in the Valley. There was a couple places in, like, when you start going out towards Santa Barbara. There was a few places. But as far as, like, the volume of New York City, it was not even close. [39:41] New Jersey, they were all filled with legendary pool hall. We used to play at West End Billiards in New Jersey. They had a weekly tournament with pros. It was in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Super sketchy area. Super sketchy. But you would go there and you'd see Steve Miserak playing Rodney Morris, two world-class, world championship-level pool players in this shitty-ass fucking weird spot with a diner counter there. [40:11] they were everywhere. It's a cool world, the pool world. Oh, it's a great world. I remember I was here. I forget what it was, but you had a guy down here. I don't know if he just did the pod, but he was like an OG, and I think he commentates maybe now. Jeremy Jones. That's my boy. He could hold court. He was a storyteller. He was on the podcast, too. He had some great fucking stories. That was cool. That dude won the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open's

[40:41] tournament where it's the u.s open but people come from everywhere yeah like people come from all around the world taiwan germany all over the place to play in that tournament that's the big one jeremy won that shit yeah he won that shit that's how good he plays his stories about like going like being like essentially like a traveling pool hustler and like popping into a town where you heard there was some game and you travel with like a couple other people one guy would like uh sense it out he would go play a couple games see who's there and then jeremy would just come in and just [41:11] for two weeks straight. [41:12] And then you're out of there. Yep. [41:14] It is. And you play like you suck at first. That's right. The first week, you just let people beat up on you a little bit. And then the second week, you eat their lunch. Depends on how thick your bankroll is. If you could start off, you only got 150 to lose. You have your gambling money. What can we fuck with before we start getting into real money? Because if you want to get somebody on the hook, you don't want to get them on the hook for $100. You want to get them on the hook for $5,000. Hook means you want them to have the confidence that they'll beat you. [41:44] Well, when they're on the hook is when they're fucked. Right. So you let them win a few games, and then you say, let's bet some fucking real money. Yeah. And you look nervous and shit, and then you get a game for $5,000. You're like, okay, here we go. And then you loosen up, and all of a sudden the stroke is smooth, and he's like, what the fuck happened? It's like midway through that game when someone realizes they're being hustled. [42:08] Oh, they get mad. I've been there. I've been there. Not with me. I was never good enough to hustle people. But my friend Johnny was a professional pool hustler. My friend Johnny was a homeless guy. Not the guy from Connecticut? No, that's Tommy. Tommy. That's Tommy. Tommy was different. Tommy wasn't as crazy as Johnny. Tommy's clean and sober. He has been. He smokes a little weed. But his whole life, he never drank, never did drugs.

[42:38] a musician, so he had a little keyboard and shit. That was one of the ways that he made money. But he would hustle people. That's how I met him. He tried to hustle me. [42:47] Thank you. [42:47] Yeah, he just comes over and he starts talking like, dude, you play pretty good. You want to play something? And I was like, what? [42:54] What are you talking about, man? Did you have the defenses up? Right away. I knew. I could smell a predator. I was like, get the fuck out of here. [43:02] We became friends. So he sees it. Do you respect the hustle? A hundred percent. Okay. So within pool, someone trying to hustle you, it's not seen as an act of aggression at all. No. It's just like, this is part of the game. Part of the fun. Yeah. It's part of the fun. Oh, so you almost appreciate when someone's trying to... A hundred percent, because you don't know. Like, is this guy fucking with me? [43:24] You play good. Do you play good? [43:26] Did you ever see the movie The Color of Money? No. There's a scene where Paul Newman and Forrest Whitaker hustles Paul Newman. And at one point in time, Paul Newman goes... [43:39] Are you a hustler? [43:41] Are you a hustler, Amos? Because Paul Newman in the movie The Hustler was the guy who did that to other people. He pretended he sucked, and then he would eventually get all their money. And he goes – and Forrest Whitaker looks at him and goes, why, you want to quit? [43:53] Hey! [43:56] You could quit. [43:57] and he's like fuck you he's like all right let's go and then he's he's got him on the hook because he's better than him and paul newman has to realize oh my god this young guy is better than me and he's stealing my money and at the end he asked him a question he goes can i ask you a question

[44:11] I think I need to lose some weight. [44:13] He just smiles at him and he just walks out because, you know, Forrest Whitaker is fat. Yeah. Yeah. You know, he just smiled at him and he just peels the hundreds off the table and leaves. [44:24] That's part of the fun. Part of the fun is like maybe you're going to get got, but it can only happen in two ways. But if you are naive or if you suck, because if you're the best, you can't get hustled. Yeah. I guess what I'm trying to say is like. [44:38] But in just regular life, if somebody was trying to hustle me, I'd be like, fuck you, you're an asshole. But there's a different – it's almost like prison rules. Like there's a different set of rules. Like being racist is wrong in regular life. And then everybody goes to prison. It's like, all right, we're going to divide this thing up a little bit. You know? [44:56] We're going to throw it back to the 1800s. You guys know what we're going to do. Right, right, right. And it's just like I don't even know if they look at it as hateful. I think they're like this is just what we got to do to make it through. Right. I assume that's kind of more or less what – [45:08] guys within it. Yeah. But like [45:10] So I just find it interesting when people have different rule sets that they operate within society. Yes. And I feel like this is one of them where a guy is coming over to essentially steal your money. But you understand that the game is that. So you're like – [45:26] Okay, I'm going to let you like riz me up a little bit. Like I'm going to let you fake charm me and I might actually get you over. [45:33] And there's no animosity between the Sharks. Have you ever seen two elite pool players talk about the game, about setting up a game? They're like, I don't know. I haven't been playing. I haven't been hitting balls. I'm not really – I can't give you any weight, man. I'm just not playing that good. Weight is like a spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like if nine ball – so like if you and I were playing nine ball and you were kind of good, I would say, look, I'll give you the eight ball, which means you could win by pocketing the eight ball or the nine ball.

[46:03] ability to win the game because you can make combinations. You could luck in the eight ball, luck in the nine. And I would say it's call or wild. What does that mean? It's wild. It means you could knock into some balls and accidentally knock in the eight ball and you'd win the game. Yeah. I would say, I'll give you the call shot eight. And you're like, no, I need it wild. And we'd have this conversation. I need it wild. And I need the breaks like, oh, [46:23] I don't know about the breaks. And you'd have to, like, work out a game, a spot. So, like, that's where the hustling comes in because someone pretends they need weight that can beat you. [46:35] They can beat you already, and then they get you to give them weight. So now you've got a lot of confidence going in. You're like, this guy sucks to the point where I've got to give him. Do you know open micers that are way too confident for their actual ability? You know open micers that think they're doing well, or guys in the beginning? I'll be honest, I don't know any open micers anymore. But do you remember? Yes, yes. But do you remember? Yes, yes, yes. That's the same way with pool players. There's pool players that are kind of okay, but think they're a lot better than they are. [47:05] you could dance with their ego a little bit. Like, dude, I saw you play Mikey. You're fucking amazing, man. When you get loose, you're way better than me. [47:14] And the guy's like, well, I'll give you a spot. And the next, you know, he's giving you the eight ball, and he can't beat you even. It's half of the fun. [47:22] Jeremy Jones told me a story about how he hustled Marcus Shemot. Marcus Shemot is like a world-class pool player, like a top-flight pool player. And he hustled him by getting him to give him weight. And Jeremy could beat him even.

[47:35] I'm not. [47:36] And why would Marcus do it? Because he didn't know any better. He didn't know Jeremy was. Jeremy came up with a fake name. Oh, okay. That's crazy. Well, they all had fake names. They all had fake names. Yeah, he told me that when he was coming down to Texas to get those games. You come up with a fake name, and somebody else talks about you. Yes. Your buddy who goes in to scope it out talks about you. He gambles high. He's wild. He loses a lot, but he's not scared of gambling. [48:06] could talk [48:07] Yeah. Do you know who Efren Reyes is? Yo, you told me about this guy, and then I started looking him up. Bro. But what was his other name? Cesar Morales. Yes, yes, yes. He came here from the Philippines. This is how strong he was. From another country, he had to change his name. This is before Google, before Wikipedia. Before Google. There was a black and white photo. There's a black and white photo that I have a T-shirt of. It was like, Morales stuns the field at Reds. [48:37] Everybody robbed the best blue players in America. But he had to fake his name. Because if he said Efren Reyes, you'd see the look on the Filipinos' face. Like, Efren, Efren's here. Efren's here. Bata. They called him Bata. [48:50] The kid. Was this... [48:52] I wonder if this is like early days. That's it. Look at that. [48:56] Look at that photo, bro. Black and white photo. Swagged out, all of them. 1985. Yeah. It didn't have to be black and white in 85.

[49:05] But that dude rolled over here and started fucking people up. That's his name on there. [49:11] Oh, signs his name, Efren Reyes. [49:14] Well, you know what it is? Because when he played in the tournament, he went under the name of Cesar Morales. Then he had to collect his money. He needed like a real name where he had ID to cash the check. There's another guy that was using an alias too. Well, Wade Crane. Wade Crane would go around as Billy Johnson. That was his nom de plure when he was hustling. Billy Johnson. But he was Wade Crane. He was this big fucking linebacker looking dude who had a cannon for a break. Just boom! [49:44] And it would just run out on people all over the country. The thing is, if you rob lemons, that's when you're getting in fights. So if you rob regular people, that's a regular guy who doesn't really play pool, and you hustle him, that's when you get in fights. Because they don't know how this whole thing works. They don't know the rules of engagement. They think it's a crime. [50:10] You know, you play better than you really... [50:12] Amongst the sharks? You don't play Lemons. You have to be really desperate to play Lemons. If you find some idiots just knocking some eight balls around, and you can tell they can't play at all, and you start talking shit to get in their ego, and you convince one of these dummies to play you for money. [50:30] You're stealing money and they might kill you. But if you do it to a guy who's involved in a gambling match for pool, like him and his buddies are playing and they're – Professional fighters fighting each other.

[50:41] Exactly, exactly, it's the rules of engagement And amongst pool players, it's part of the fun Like they'll go for an hour and a half Without making a game [50:49] Just talking shit about different spots. I'm going to need this. I'm going to need that. Because they're addicted to that part, too. Oh, yeah. Like sometimes. Foreplay. Yeah. Yeah. [51:00] Yeah. You want to go right in there. Yeah. Fucking suck on it a little. Yeah. Let's get the juices flowing. Come on. It's fun to... [51:09] Yeah, it's fun to enjoy something, especially at this stage in your life. Yeah, when you sit down at a restaurant, you don't immediately get food stuffed right in your face. Yeah. You sit down, have a glass of wine, you start talking. Let me tell you what this guy told me. And they're like, ugh, and you're having fun? But are you doing that when you're playing? Yeah. [51:28] You said you're playing how many hours a week now? [51:30] It depends. Sometimes I'll play like [51:33] two hours in a day every day. Okay, so let's say you're playing, bare minimum, let's say 10 hours a week. Right. [51:40] That's not good enough. [51:42] Yeah, I remember when we were talking last time, you said that like... Pros play eight hours a day. Yeah, but you said some crazy shit. You said... [51:49] You're like, I don't start playing... [51:52] Well, [51:53] Until like hour six or something. Hour two. You said some shit about like, I need to be a little drunk. I need to be like a little loose. No, not drunk. A little high helps. Everything that goes against what should work for like your physical ability. Right. Right. [52:09] I don't know, you mentioned something about flow or something. I think this is with Jones too. Like Jones was like, yeah, I like getting into it. He was like, I'll play for like six hours, and then I'm starting to really kind of warm up. I'm locking in, I'm dialing in. - Yeah. - And that's why,

[52:22] It's like first to 100. [52:23] That's another thing I didn't realize. I didn't realize guys were playing 100 games over two days. Three days. 120 is a big one. I thought it's like, yo, we play a couple. It's like best out of five. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. You're up, and sometimes part of it is being able to outlast them. Like the exhaustion takes over, and sometimes people tap out. Well, concentration goes away. [52:53] moving your arm off this line. So there's a line that I'm, when I'm stroking a ball, there's a line. People are going to make a meme out of this. I can't. Sora, Sora, do your thing. Here we are. I'll help you out. Have the kid come in. Peanut butter. [53:10] Let's talk about Service Titan. Over 10,000 contractors already run their businesses on Service Titan. Now they're building an AI trained on real trades workflows. [53:23] AI. This is AI built specifically for contracting work, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and more. It's booking calls, helping run your back office, and growing your revenue automatically. Every other industry is still trying to figure out AI. The trades are about to lead from the front. Service Titan, the AI for the trades. Learn more at servicetitan.ai. This episode is brought to

[53:53] can accidentally expose you to identity theft, doctor's offices, online retailers, insurance companies, the list goes on. Thankfully, LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone could do on their own. LifeLock keeps an eye on your personal information, credit applications, finances, and more. And if they find anything suspicious, [54:23] accounts, they'll alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Even better, alerts are automatically activated the moment you become a LifeLock member. No extra work on your part. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Don't wait. Join LifeLock now. Visit LifeLock.com slash J-R-E and save up to 30% your first year. [54:53] Terms apply. [54:58] From the elbow to the cradle. I'm holding on to that cue like a baby bird. [55:04] Oh, really? It's a soft... Oh, it's very soft. I hold on to it like a little baby bird. I never, like, death grip. It's very light. You know who would death grip it? Who? Peanut... No. See what Sora's doing to us? Yeah, man. No, no, no. Okay, so it's a light grip, and then on the final stroke, you have to... The thing is, it's like...

[55:27] Even then, it's like mostly the weight of the cue. It's like a little bit of like wrist action, and I'm trying to like have as little – I let the cue slip a little in my grip as it makes contact. It's really like the weight of the cue. Why would you want to reduce force? It's not reducing force. It's actually the opposite. I actually get more force. Oh, you let it slip forward into it. Yes. Ah, I thought on impact it slides back in your hands. No, it goes through my hand. I have to catch it before it goes away. Got it, got it. [55:57] throwing the cue and he showed me the technique and um it's also the the old school guys used to call it a slip stroke where the cue like slips in your hand a little bit and it's a sign that you're like barely like efren was the best at efren cradled the cue like his hands were barely holding he's barely holding it and his wrist was loose and it makes the cue ball dance like there's no [56:27] It's crude, but if you hit it gently, you stroke the ball, it just rolls forward perfectly and collides with the other ball and gets perfect position. It's a work of art, but it's a work of art that only someone who practices it can understand. [56:44] I was telling you about playing paddle and how obsessed I am, and you immediately were like, I'm playing pool 14 hours a week. I don't think people realize how important it is to just have some shit that you enjoy. So important. That you're not making money at or anything like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How nice is it? It's like a removal from all this stupid stress chaos, people talking shit, what the internet is fabricated. It's great to have a couple hours. Maybe that's what it is. Oh, it centers you for sure.

[57:14] Like archery does that for me, too. You need something that you're focusing on getting really good at. That's fucking hard. That doesn't give a shit who you are. Yeah. Doesn't give a shit what your name is. Doesn't give a shit if you sold out Madison Square Garden. Yeah. Just you better put that fucking arrow on that target or you're a loser. Yeah. You're a loser. Yeah. Put it in there. And that's there's absolute truth in pool. [57:44] Absolute truth. The arrow either hits the target or it does not. There is no room for charisma. There's no room for bullshit. It either gets in there or it does not. And I think things like that, whether it's golf or – [57:58] paddle for you or whatever it is, jujitsu for some people, you either tap someone or you do not. Yeah. You either get tapped or you tap them. Yeah. You know, and there's absolute truth in that. And stuff like that is like really good for artists because – [58:15] Art is so subjective. Also successful people. Like it's nice to have something that humbles you. [58:22] Yes. You know what I mean? Like people are meeting you all day. They're probably so excited and like they're they're being versions of their selves around you. You know, like, do you ever even feel like that? Like, like, how many people are you having like a normal conversation where you're like talking shit and they're not going, oh, my God, I'm talking to Joe Rogan right now. [58:39] Like is that why like is that why being around comedians that you've known for so long is valuable to you? Is that why like being around these pool guys that yes, they know you're Joe, but like once you start playing –

[58:51] Like you either suck at pool... [58:53] Yeah. Or you can play. Like, is there like a, does it like bring you back to humanity? [59:00] In some ways. Oh, for sure it helps. Yeah. It keeps you humble. Yeah. Jiu-jitsu is the best at that because not only are they beating you, they're literally killing you. And you're saying, you just killed me. Yeah. Thanks. Don't rip my knee apart. Thanks. Don't break my arm. Thank you. [59:16] If a guy gets you in an R bar, man, it is so humiliating. It's so funny that this is such a delicate thing before you die. [59:24] Yeah. You know? Well, often you even say it, too. Like sometimes you just say, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Yeah. You know? That happened in one of the last UFCs. A dude was saying, tap, tap, tap. [59:36] Josh Emmett. [59:37] When he got caught he got caught in our barn had a verbally tap. It's a [59:43] You get humbled. Yeah. It's real. It is what it is. And if you don't have anything like that in life, you can really have this aversion to losing. Yeah. And an aversion to losing is very fucking dangerous. Yeah. It's very fucking dangerous. Yeah. You just get comfy. Yeah. Yeah. You need to have something that you need to have something that scares you. [1:00:02] Being scared is good. Well, it gives you some resilience. It's like if you're a person who sleeps all day and now you have to run a marathon. Well, you're not going to be able to because you never ran. But if you run all the time, you can run a fucking marathon and it's real relaxing. It's really just how much you put into it. And if you're not a person who's used to losing at anything ever and then you lose, it's devastating for your whole life. Yeah, this is like the...

[1:00:28] If you're like a prince or something like that. Uh-huh. Exactly. You're Joffrey. Yeah. Yeah. And that can happen. And you don't build up that resilience. I almost feel like you almost have some empathy for it because they never had 20 years, 30 years toiling in obscurity before they got success. So we at least have something to look back on and realize how fucking humbling it is and how shitty people can be, et cetera. But they never experienced that. Childhood stars. [1:00:55] childhood stars are all fucked up there's no i never met one of them that's got there's well you know some of them are really interesting still like miley miley sire she's really interesting she's very smart and she's really good like her music is like she's not trying to be like pop hit girl she's just trying to express herself it's like real legit art but there ain't no way you get that famous that young you're fucking hannah montana when you're a teenager and the whole world [1:01:25] I never met one of them that's got their shit together. Is that the Britney thing? Yeah, 100%, man. That's Michael Jackson. He's the best example of it of all time. I wonder just what responsibility... [1:01:38] I wonder what responsibility the people around them have. A lot. [1:01:42] A lot. They might not know it while it's happening, though. Yeah, because they're getting paid off it. It's a little bit of that, but it's not shunned. It's still a thing in Hollywood. [1:01:52] What do you mean? [1:01:53] I mean, in Hollywood, when you have children and your children want to act, people encourage it. They bring their kids to auditions. They call them, you know, what is audition moms or, you know. What's the term? Stage moms. That's it. Yeah. Stage moms. Like, dude, those are real, man.

[1:02:11] I've worked with kids before on a TV show. And, like, I had one of the moms of the kids was like, how does she get more work? What does she need to do? And I was like, I don't know. I'm like, I don't come from this world. I'm a comedian. I come from a totally different world. I don't know how you go about doing it. But the mom was, like, super desperate to get her kid more work. And I was like, ooh. And that's the tricky thing because it's not, like, merit-based, like, sports in a lot of ways. Like, there are people that are good at shit. They're good at acting, et cetera. But, like... [1:02:41] A lot of it is maybe who you know, what they're willing to do, how uncomfortable a position they're willing to be in. It's most of that, I think. Yeah. Because most people at that level, especially like little kid acting. Yeah. Most people are pretty similar. There's not like one little kid like, oh, my God, he's a Marlon Brando of little kids. Yeah. Like – [1:02:59] Maybe there's Ricky Schroeder from The Champ. Did you ever see that movie The Champ with Jon Voight? Oh, my God, dude. [1:03:05] Oh, my God. I saw it. I was a little kid. I cried my eyes out. It's a rough movie. It's about this boxer who dies. Jon Voight dies, and his kid is trying to get him to wake up. He's like, wake up, champ. He died in the ring. [1:03:20] But it's like crazy. He's crying. Oh, my God. It seems so real. How old is the kid? [1:03:29] I don't know how old Ricky Schroeder was supposed to be in the mood, but he's a kid. Yeah. Like nine or something like that. So imagine being nine, like knowing how to cry on cue. Crazy. Right? Like where are you – yeah. I know. Where are you accessing that emotional depth? He did that, and then he did Silver Spoons. He had this TV show. He did like – Seven.

[1:03:49] He was seven. Yeah. God damn. Seven. Yeah, it's a fine line because you see some of these parents. Not like a stage parent. Yeah, there he is right there. [1:03:59] Even like... It's so sad. [1:04:02] You know the guy who drives for a Red Bull, Max Verstappen? [1:04:07] Yeah, I've heard his name. Widely. He's, like, considered the best driver right now. Like, despite maybe the car not being elite, he's so elite that he can compete with maybe better cars on the track. And he's already won a bunch of championships, et cetera. But, like, I think his dad was also a driver. And apparently, like, his dad... [1:04:23] cultivated. [1:04:25] a next champion. [1:04:26] And like that was the Tiger Woodsdom. [1:04:28] But the thing right there is like – [1:04:31] Your kid is going to be born with certain things. [1:04:34] And you can... [1:04:35] if they have that ambition, that hunger, and that resilience, [1:04:39] You can... [1:04:41] Give them some tough love and maybe make a champion out of them. But some of them don't. [1:04:45] And I think that you could break a kid like that too. That's a tricky thing I always think with my daughter is like – [1:04:51] And any future kids is I don't I don't know if I don't I don't have that at this point in my life. I don't have that. I need to make you into something you shouldn't. I just let them be themselves. Yeah, because they all are going to have the worst thing is like, say, if you have a kid and you love baseball and you force your fucking kid to play baseball, you got to go to baseball practice and you force your kid to play professionally. Yep. [1:05:15] I was lucky I was ambitious, and I had parents that just supported the things that I was ambitious about. So if I wanted to hoop, they were like, all right, let's go play basketball. And my dad was like, let's go every single day, whatever you want to do. But I never felt this like –

[1:05:28] this stage mom or dad presence where they were going, hey, you missed four shots today. Let's review those shots that you missed and let's figure out ways that you can't do it. Right. Like kind of let me have that on my own. Yeah. I don't need you to insert your ambition into me. I feel like that's kind of selfish in a lot of ways. It is. And it's also – it's like – [1:05:45] You've got to know when the line is. Like maybe they do want advice. Like maybe they are trying to get better at this thing. But you have to have the kind of communication with your kid. Like do you want some help? [1:05:56] Want me to help you? Yeah. You know, like, I can give you some information. Yeah. Like, say if your kid wanted to do stand-up. Yeah. And your kid started doing stand-up, and, you know, they're bombing, and you're like, um... [1:06:09] Do you want me to talk to you? Do you want to talk? Do you want to just work this out on your own? Like, you have to have that kind of open level of communication with your kids where they can tell you. Like, hey, just leave me the fuck alone right now. Okay. Yeah. Okay. [1:06:21] I know he bombed. You know, it sucks. Yeah. I can tell you about my bombs. I bombed a lot. Yeah. I'll tell you what I learned. I got better after the bombing. It sucks, but it's actually good for you. So you're delicate with your kids. Yeah, you have to be. I have daughters. Yeah. You know, if I had a son, I'd beat the shit out of him. Take him to jiu-jitsu. Make sure that he knows I could kill him with my bare hands. Thank God you got daughters, bro. Maybe we needed Rogan to have that. Maybe that's your destiny, man. Maybe that softens you up a little bit. It definitely does. [1:06:51] understand that they're so different. The way they are, they're so different. Like my friends that have sons, they come home, the people are lighting things on fire, they're picking the cat up by its tail. There's only people who don't have kids that have all these opinions about gender and like what you're born as and all this other stuff. And I don't need to get into a whole gender discussion. But like, I see the way that...

[1:07:10] slightly older girls play with my daughter [1:07:12] So like... [1:07:13] My daughter's a little over 20 months, right? So... [1:07:16] The three-year-olds and four-year-olds that play with her? [1:07:20] they're already kind of like mothering. [1:07:22] Right. They're like patient with her. They're delicate. They'll want to give her a toy if she wants to give it back. They're fine. It's just like this amazing thing that like, I don't know how, maybe they're watching their mom do it to them, et cetera. But, [1:07:33] the boys don't give a fuck. [1:07:35] Right. And older boys are convinced younger boys to jump off the top bunk. In a second. Yeah. In a second. Yeah. My boy Jason got two kids, both boys. And like you could tell if we weren't there, the older kid is going to throw the younger kid wherever the hell he wants to throw. Yeah. Like we got to constantly monitor. Yeah. You know? [1:07:53] And that's something baked in. Yeah. [1:07:55] It's baked in. Yeah. Yeah, they're like dogs. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. That might be generous. Yeah. [1:08:01] Even dogs would be nice with babies. Yeah, they're not. Well, they're probably okay with babies, but as soon as you can start walking, you're on your own. Yeah, let's dance. They're going to trip you. Let's fucking dance. If it's a five-year-old to a two-year-old, maybe. But once you get to be three and four, fuck you. And it's also this understanding that you keep getting bigger. [1:08:18] And like as like as time goes on, like the younger ones, like if someone's picking on you, you can pick on someone younger than you. And like there's especially like four brothers, like the toughest brother is always the youngest brother. Like if there's a bunch of fighters. Yeah. Yeah. If there's a bunch of fighters and he has three older brothers. Did John have three older brothers? [1:08:37] No, John, I think, is the middle.

[1:08:42] I think Arthur is the oldest. He just died. Rest in peace. And then John and then Chandler's younger, right? Is that correct? [1:08:51] No, you're right. Chandler's younger. Chandler's the youngest. Big boys. Here's the thing. John's the only one who became a legit fighter, but Chandler was always like, I'll fuck John up. He said it publicly. That's how they grow up. You grow up in a household with two super athletes as brothers. I have empathy for their dad. Imagine trying to discipline him. [1:09:15] Those three guys when they're like 16. Right. Good luck. Good luck. I sat next to them when we were at the... [1:09:23] No, no, no. Chandler is? They're just different. They're huge. It's different. [1:09:27] And their grandmother is, John told me, is where the genetics come from. Oh, really? He goes, this is my grandma. And he introduced me to his grandmother. I'm like, yo, his grandmother is big. She's big, man. Big lady. Yeah, we sat next to them at the spear fight. And they're all having the best time. They're just like the most chill. Yeah, John's always having a good time. He's wearing cowboy hats now. He's leaning. He's so funny. He's the sheriff. [1:09:57] Tom Aspinall is like... Is he in a fight? Like, what's the deal? [1:10:00] Who knows? That's part of the funnel. I feel like you know. He's doing what a pool hustler does. That's what I was about to say. Oh, that's what he's doing? I guarantee you, if John really thinks that he's fighting in June, he's already in camp. Oh, so he's making it seem like he's not potential. I would imagine that John is preparing. Because John has different places to train. He doesn't just train at one place. But I could imagine he does a lot of weightlifting, too. He put on a lot of real muscle mass when he went up to heavyweight.

[1:10:30] Alex Pereira, he's getting ready. He's at least getting ready in his mind. Would it be Alex or do you think it would be Alex? Really? So the Tom ship has sailed. No, it hasn't sailed, but the big money fight is Alex and John Jones at the White House. Are you fucking kidding me? Catch weight. Make it 225. Alex still is the light heavyweight champion. Make it a catch weight fight. It doesn't have to be for a title. Make it the bad motherfucker upper edition. [1:11:00] You have the BMF belt for 155ers. Who's the real BMF? Yeah. Do you think even one of those guys could beat Alex Pereira? You think he'd get a 155-pounder in there against Alex Pereira? Not a chance. Does Max Holloway survive against Alex Pereira? No, shut the fuck up. Max can only beat DC. That's the bad motherfucker. [1:11:16] That's the only heavyweight. We need to do a fight. He see it drop you on your fucking head, man. You don't want to wrestle that dude. Never. Max is funny about that. I know. He's like the kindest, sweetest guy. And he's an animal. A full animal when he fights. That'd be a wild thing, man. [1:11:33] That would be a wild thing. The Jon Jones-Alex Pereira fight would probably be the biggest fight in human history. [1:11:40] I mean, that at the White House? [1:11:41] But as a matchup, you got the greatest of all time in Jon Jones and arguably the most destructive striker that's ever competed. No one's like that guy. Powhatan? That Ancalia fight. He was like, fuck you. Dude, it was such a – and again, I don't know what's going through Ancalia's head at this moment, right? But I know what I'm thinking. I'm like, if I'm Ancalia, it's like I outstruck this guy in the first time that they fought.

[1:12:08] Okay. [1:12:09] He's going to be cautious. [1:12:11] And I'm going to be able to walk him down. And I remember the second the bell rings, he runs right at him. And he throws maybe like a one-to-one. And I think the right is to the body. [1:12:20] And you could see Uncle I go, whoa, I did not expect the first five seconds of this fight to go this way. He came out hot and closed distance real quick. And it was a great, like... [1:12:28] It's a testament to like, somebody had said this before, especially in MMA, it's like when somebody gets... [1:12:34] Not nervous or but or like when you shake somebody out of their like natural instinct they revert back to what they're most comfortable doing So it's like if you're like a wrestling guy your whole life and then you learn how to strike the second something goes a little bit You know out of whack you're gonna revert back to your wrestling I think it might have been DC this I forget exactly who is it saying but like you revert back to what you're most comfortable that DC said it right? Yeah, okay And um, but I thought the most interesting thing about that fight is the punch that Pereira lands that stuns him is [1:13:02] is this looping right. Mm-hmm. [1:13:04] Nobody's training for Pereira's right. Right. Well, that's what he threw right away. That was the first punch. It was a straight right. But he went to the body. Yeah, it was long. This is long, straight right he started off the fight with. But when he lands this, like, looping right... [1:13:19] It's not that one. It's a little bit after that. So what he did is he set him up and then got his foot in proper position where he could step inside of him. And Ancalias was ready for one thing. And Pereira, watch this. [1:13:33] If you see where he sets it up, a guy did a really good breakdown of it. I'll watch it again.

[1:13:38] He broke his foot there, right there. That kick? He hit the shin and he broke his toe. [1:13:45] Yeah. [1:13:47] Yeah, I think he gets Uncle out to switch stances. Well, he's just putting mad pressure on him. He's putting mad pressure on him. Yeah. You don't see from him too often. Yeah. Yeah. [1:13:56] Yeah. [1:13:57] And it's time. [1:13:59] And he just dips in. [1:14:02] And drops a fucking hammer on him. [1:14:05] Here it is. [1:14:06] Boom! [1:14:08] So he led Ankulayev started moving to the right, to Pereira's right, when he put pressure on him. And that's why, because everybody's scared of the left. The movement with Pereira is don't ever walk to your right, because that's walking into his left hook. Circle away. So circle away. So their idea was we're going to circle away. And Pereira's like, I bet you're going to circle away. Yeah. And he just stomped him. [1:14:32] You could tell he enjoyed it. Yeah. Because he was sick. The first fight, he was sick. [1:14:39] It was 100%. This episode is brought to you by Blinds.com. Texas summers don't mess around with patio surfaces easily reaching 150 degrees. Hot enough to make your backyard feel like a punishment. And if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees. Get ahead of it with custom solar shades for your den and your patio from Blinds.com. Whether you want to do it yourself or have a pro handle everything, they've got you covered.

[1:15:09] whenever you want, but still have access to real design professionals. They'll even send free samples. Blinds.com has been doing this for 30 years, and they back everything with a 100% satisfaction guarantee so you can order with confidence. Right now, my listeners can get an exclusive 40% off when you spend $500 or more at Blinds.com and use the promo code ROGAN40. Limited time offer, Blinds.com, promo code ROGAN40. [1:15:39] apply. This episode is brought to you by Dodge. The new Dodge Charger scat pack is built for people who still believe driving should be exciting. You want to talk about performance? Let's start with a twin turbo six pack gas engine, all gas, no mercy, 550 horsepower, zero to 60 in just 3.9 seconds and a top speed of 177 miles an hour. Unlike vehicles that make [1:16:09] choose between traction and attitude the Dodge Charger Scat Pack comes with standard all-wheel drive and a selectable rear-wheel drive mode so you can get confident handling when you want it and the freedom to still be able to do burnouts available in both two-door and four-door models the new Charger Scat Pack it's loud it's fast it's powerful and unapologetically Dodge learn more at

[1:16:39] Dodge is a registered trademark of FCA US LLC. Sent sick. He was sick as a dog the entire camp. I didn't know that. But I also... Yeah, Polino, his coach, told me after the fight. Really? Like, after he just knocked out Uncle I, he goes, let me tell you something. First camp, he was so sick, bro. He was so sick. Like, he could barely eat. Really? Yeah. I think it's rotavirus, but I think it's norovirus. Yeah, that was going around. And he also fucked up his hand. He had a really badly hurt left hand. [1:17:09] And that's the moneymaker. And then when you see this, you're like, that's what you get when you get a fully in shape and healthy Alex. You get stomped. Yeah. But these guys are never fully healthy. Like anytime – I was just talking to – I believe his name is Paul Hughes. Do you know him? He just fought – it's PFL. He fought a guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he fought – [1:17:30] Usman? Usman. Yeah. Yeah. And for the second time, the first fight was like contested. It was a close fight. If you're a Nirmam, Nirmam, if you're, you know, you're in the Khabib camp. Yeah. I mean, come on, son. Yeah. [1:17:45] Yeah, it's real shit. You have to carry that last name around? There's a lot of responsibility. Khabib Nurmagomedov might be the greatest name in the history of grappling, MMA, fighting. You've got Khabib's last name. Yeah. Yeah. [1:18:00] Yeah, if you saw that on a lineup in a jiu-jitsu tournament or something, you'd be like, man. You'd be like, oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [1:18:08] You would just have a thousand yard stale like fuck. Anyway, like you fought him again and like, you know, he was like, yeah, I was dealing with a bunch of, you know, I was dealing with some stuff in camp. But I don't want to make excuses because we're always dealing with some stuff. He was like, he was like, he's probably dealing with stuff like that guy. I mean, it was it was a close fight. But I thought that he came out to the show in Dubai. And I was like, and he was like, yeah.

[1:18:30] He's like, yeah, he's just like really good. He's just like a really good guy. And I thought that I could get him. I think I still can. Maybe it happens one day in the future. But I was this honest approach where he was basically saying, we're always a little injured. We're fighters. Like naturally in training camp, you're going to hurt something. You're going to tweak something. Now, granted, you got fucking neurovirus. This is a little bit different than like your shoulder sore. Right. But like everybody's dealing with a little shit. 100%. Look at Conor. He came into that fight with Dustin Poirier with a broken shin already. Didn't give a fuck. [1:18:59] Well, he just thought it's not that broken. Yeah. He's like... Dude, Conor is like reaching final form, like as a promoter. It's like he's already so prolific, obviously, as a fighter, etc. But like watching him do the BKFC, I kind of just want to go to see him hype up fights. Like I want to go to the press conference where he's just like... What was he saying? He's like, and if you don't win, we're firing you on the spot to Mike Perry. And Mike's like, what did I do? I'm just getting punched in the face. [1:19:29] were fighting. He's not even fighting. It's like Dana calling out the guys. Yeah, what are you doing? What are you doing? What is entertaining? I want to watch one of them BKFC. And I want to know if it's real or if he's really on the most potent Bolivian marching powder, like the purest of the pure. Whatever he's on, I need to try it. Or is it an act? I mean, maybe he's just duping us all. What is he saying here? Look at this guy. Look at him. [1:19:55] Inside me and in front of me, some of the baddest men and women to ever grace planet Earth. This is what we're about here at Paranocle Fighting Championship.

[1:20:05] the alien of combat sport. And may we rise above the night sky and rain down blows. [1:20:13] viciously on all our deniers and announcing today that Baron Uncle FC has no love for the big glove. [1:20:22] So let's go to Florida. I got to announce it. All right, hold on. Yo, no love for the big love. I'm the greatest promoter of all time. That's what I'm saying. I know a lot of people do coke, and they're not that entertaining. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's charisma. You got to have something in you for the coke to bring it out. That's why they won't let him run for president in Ireland. Because it'd be too much fun? That motherfucker will win. Imagine that. That kind of speech in Ireland? Bro, he could be the president of Ireland tomorrow. [1:20:52] If he wanted to be the president of Ireland, if they let him, let him go on the campaign tour, let him talk like that in front of packed arenas, it's all fair. Come on our podcast, Conor. We'll make it happen. Bro, who else can – yeah. We control the election. Just the three of us. We're the kingmakers, dog. Let's go. We need to charge more for ads. We need to charge more for ads since we can decide the fate of the free world. Only us. Nothing else happening. You know what's funny? He's like, anything bad happens, it's our fault. [1:21:22] Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Schultz. Thank you, Theo. Do you think he stopped it? We need credit for the good. I think that's a figazy stoppage. I think that... [1:21:32] I think that he stopped... [1:21:35] I think he stopped what Israel was doing to Gaza for the time being. And he got hostages back. He got hostages back. So it's like...

[1:21:43] But the way I look at it is like – [1:21:45] I think that you need to give him credit. And I like calling balls and strikes, bro. If he does something I don't like, I'm going to call it out. And then people get upset at that shit for some reason. They're like, but how did you not know this was going to happen? It's like, oh, my God. Do we not understand that when you vote for somebody, they're going to do some things that you don't like and they're going to do some things that you do? Like, again, there's no nuance on the Internet. But, like, I don't think that. [1:22:06] this is what Bibi Netanyahu wanted. [1:22:10] I don't think that... [1:22:11] And I think it's what Trump wanted. [1:22:13] I think Trump went, I want to stop it. And you could make arguments for that. Like, oh, he wants to get the Nobel Peace Prize or whatever the fuck you want to say. But, like... [1:22:20] He wanted it. [1:22:22] And he created a situation... [1:22:24] where Bibi was dependent on him. Trump's more popular in Israel than Bibi. And if Bibi wants re-election, [1:22:30] He's got to play nice with Trump. Really? 100%. Trump is more popular in Israel than Netanyahu? 100%. [1:22:35] 100%. Whoa. There was an article in The New Yorker that just said about this. It's like, I know, I know. But like, but like, Bibi's political future is dependent on Trump. Wow. 100%. So it's like, they created a situation. And then he just went around everybody. Like, it's almost like he's better at government over there where you're dealing with dictators. Because he could just say, what do you want? [1:22:57] And then they go, I'd like some some planes. He goes, all right, we got planes. I'll give you some planes. All right, you do this for me. It's that transaction. And it works on the global stage in that regard. They got to stop. Now, granted, it's a deal between Trump, Bibi and Hamas. [1:23:11] It could go wrong. Right.

[1:23:14] It seems to me the only person that got what they wanted out of it, it's not what Hamas wanted. It's not what Bibi wanted. [1:23:21] and BB's folks in government. [1:23:22] It's what Trump wanted. So I'm like, you got to give credit to where credit is due. In my personal opinion, it's like he doesn't – he doesn't want any more bloodshed. He wants to say that he stopped this thing. [1:23:32] Let him rally off some dubs. You see Israel bombed Lebanon today? [1:23:36] Well, you've got to stop that one. [1:23:38] Yeah. [1:23:39] They did. Where? They bombed a weapons depot. Crazy fireball. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. All right. Well, we got to put a stop to all that shit. This was – what is – did they say anything about the target, Jamie? Yeah. [1:23:53] You should see it. You should see the video. It's nuts. Because it's a munitions place. Oh, so you get the extra explosions. Bro, look at that. Yeah, that's Michael Bay. Look at that fireball, man. I mean, that's crazy. Yeah. And there's a bunch of secondary explosions on the ground, right? So those secondary explosions are all the munitions going off. [1:24:14] Hezbollah. [1:24:15] Yeah. [1:24:16] The incident marked the latest strikes and almost unbroken pattern of daily Israel attacks on Lebanese territories since the ceasefire deal was struck in November of 2024. After more than a year, fierce hostilities accumulated in two months of open war. [1:24:31] Yeah, man. [1:24:34] Bro. Anyway. It's like your little brother that keeps dragging you into fights. It's like, bro. Come on. Right? Like, who we beefing with? What are we doing? Yeah. But also, you really don't want him having all those weapons either. I don't really know, to be honest with you.

[1:24:49] But, like, I do think that we're allowed to have an opinion on it. There's this idea, like, we're not allowed to have an opinion. It's like, we're fun and shit. We get an opinion on it. It's plain and simple. The idea that we shouldn't have an opinion is ridiculous. You should always have opinions. Your opinions could be uninformed. They're still your opinions. Like, you're allowed to have opinions. You're allowed to have the dumbest fucking opinion in the world. And other people go, that's a really dumb opinion. Yeah. Yeah, you're allowed to have opinions. Yeah. This idea that you shouldn't talk about opinions. Like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, this is the whole point. This is why we get to say whatever the fuck we want. Well, it's a gatekeeper thing. Us and Saudi Arabia. Yeah. [1:25:19] It's just us in Saudi Arabia, by the way. We are the best ones, by the way. Yes. What was that experience like going over there? Man, it was like I performed in the Middle East before. Right. You've done a bunch of shows out there. Yeah. It's just not – everybody make this big thing. Like, oh, my God, it's going to be so crazy, blah, blah. I posted my – I told you. I posted my set. [1:25:38] Because people are saying all this shit like, oh, I didn't change anything and all these comics are doing it. I'm like, all right, well, I'll show you. This is what I did. You tell me if I took it easy on them. You tell me if I cared. And people made all this fucking big deal about like, oh, they made you sign a list of things you can't say. And it's just like, do you really think the fucking king cares about the clowns coming to the festival? Like, you think he really gives a fuck about that shit? [1:26:00] No. Well, he would care if it was humiliating. It's some middle guy who's like, I don't want to get in trouble. So I'm going to say this. They do that shit anywhere you go. They did that shit when I was in UAE. I didn't fucking look at it. I'll never look at a list once in my life. I'll perform wherever my fans are. I don't give a fuck. Like, that's my take on it.

[1:26:15] I'm going to perform wherever my fans are. I don't give a fuck what their governments do. I'm going to perform for my fans. Simple as that. That's what it is. I just happen to have fans over there. There are a lot of guys who can't perform outside of Brooklyn who are like, I would never go. It's like, no one was asking you. Right. No one's inviting you. Yeah. You also don't have to. Right. But it might be different if you've got tons of DMs of people going, please come out here. We've been watching your special. We've been doing all these things. You're like, oh, that'd be really awesome to come perform for you guys. Yeah. But the idea is you're being paid by a dictator. Good. My fans get a discount. [1:26:45] It's not like they didn't have to pay for the tickets. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's just a little added on top from the family. [1:26:52] Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it is what it is. Bro, this comic out there said the funniest shit. It's fucked up. He said the funniest shit. And I was like, yeah, so what do you think about them, you know, chopping up that journalist? He goes, they chopped up one journalist so women can drive. [1:27:06] Yeah. [1:27:06] Oh, no. I was dying, bro. Bro, when we were out there, it was so funny. That is true. Like, MBS, that's not true. But it is true that MBS is the reason why women can drive. He's the progressive one. Yeah. The other guy, the MBM was the guy who was going to be more conservative. But, yeah, so it's like, it was so funny because, like, when we were out there, like, there are chicks driving now, obviously. You know what I mean? How are they doing? Well, we got in one accident, two female drivers. Yeah. [1:27:36] Thank you. [1:27:37] Yeah. [1:27:38] they're new at it bro so it's like we got out the car and you could see the look on their faces the parts of their faces you could see and uh and you get they're just like damn man everybody's gonna know and it was uh but it's funny they said um they get the girls all like chinese cars and i was like why do they why do they drive the chinese cars and they're like that's the cheapest cars they're just figuring the shit out so they just started driving like imagine you're 50 and you

[1:28:08] But yeah, it was fun, man. I don't know. Like, I don't even know if people care because like you see this shit online and like everybody feels like they need an opinion on it. I even see comics going like a lot of people have been asking my opinion. So like I need to give your fucking opinion. Have they really been asking? Like, what are you talking about? Nobody's asking a fucking opinion. It's almost to the point. And then I ask like any regular people. They're like, they don't really care because they're watching like the six best tennis guys perform in Saudi this weekend. [1:28:34] And golfers and race car drivers. And UFC and boxing and everything. So it's just like, how much do you – and they just put a billion dollars into like a Hollywood movie studio. Uh-oh. So I'm like – I'm screenshotting. [1:28:47] Everybody who talks, I'm screenshot because I'm waiting for you to do a movie with it. I'm waiting. I'm petty. I don't forget. You forgive. You know what I mean? You have somebody on your pod who had someone on their pod talking shit. [1:28:59] You're better than me. Yeah. You're better than me. You've got to be able to just let things go. I can't wait for Gavin Newsom to go on Bad Friends. I want to see the I'm distancing myself from the Rogan Sphere tour. Oh, that's hilarious. First stop, Bad Friends. [1:29:16] That's hilarious. I thought that was corny. [1:29:19] Yeah. I thought it was corny. Yeah, we talked about that. I don't know. It is what it is. [1:29:26] You're more forgiven. There's no time that you should, in my mind, no time that you should be spending on these kind of conflicts. [1:29:35] It's like pointless. It's wasted energy. Yeah, but it's fun to talk some shit. Well, you know, when I decided to talk shit about Maren was after the Theo thing. After Theo kind of went off the rails. Yeah. And Theo went off the rails right after Maren put him in his special. Yeah. You know. You know my issue with that joke in the special? It was just like what Twitter says. Yeah.

[1:29:57] Uh-huh. It wasn't even like a creative angle. No, it's not good. It was just like literally what every tweet would say. Meanwhile, it was one of the funniest jokes he's ever made because it's an impression of a really funny guy. [1:30:08] Exactly. He's got to rely on Theo's impressions. [1:30:13] But yeah, I just, I don't know. Like my whole thing with Marin is like, I think that like people outside of comedy have this idea of him, but like everybody inside comedy knows he's a piece of shit and they've known it for years. And like, this is not just like us. [1:30:24] No, you know, like there's I mean, there's that great like Jon Stewart story about their thing, which is like, I don't even know what people know. But like, Jon took that MTV show and Maren like ripped him for how you sell out you pieces. How dare you do it? And then when Jon leaves to go do another show, guess who takes over that same show? [1:30:40] Marin. That's who we're dealing with. So it's like it's one of these things where like inside the game, we all know who the pieces of shit are. And we just go, we roll our eyes. This is how Mark Marin works. He sees you get successful. He feels bad. So he comes up with a reason why you're bad. Exactly. And he'll find some like intellectualization of it to justify his bitterness. You want to know what he hit me with with Fear Factor? What do you say? You're taking jobs away from comedians who would be writing on sitcoms. [1:31:10] Thank you. [1:31:11] How – what? How is that? What? Because I'm doing a reality show. So the reality show, which is number one show in the country, would have – if it didn't exist – That was a Trump moment right there. Number one! It was the best! But when the idea was that somehow or another this is stealing – it's the dumbest justification. You're just angry, bro. You didn't look at it at all. You didn't have any insight.

[1:31:41] on this. It doesn't make any sense because it doesn't make any sense because those people are doing a job outside of comedy. Just like me. I'm doing a job outside of comedy too. But you can't even give it any credence. It's like the guy, every criticism he has, he's guilty of. Like he's like, how dare you have presidents on the pod and have fun with them? And it's like, you had Obama before anybody. You started this. You didn't ask Obama anything about fucking drone strikes or whatever. And frankly, and I love Obama. I just want to point that out. Like I actually really do. And I know there's probably fucked up shit that anybody in power got to do. But like I genuinely [1:32:11] as a statesman. I think he was the best statesman we've ever had. You just felt good. We felt like he's a great representative of America. 100%. As intelligent and measured as anybody who's ever held the office, better than any... Clinton, when he was young, was really good. I think Obama was another level. Anyway, but it's like, yeah, you did it. You did the thing. You did the exact same thing. Talk all this shit about like, oh, we just had him on recently. You didn't ask him anything. Of course he did. Anything like, [1:32:41] repealed the Smith-Munt Act. But is that surprising to you? [1:32:45] No, not to be. Of course not, because we know, because we're inside. Well, this is the thing. He positions himself as this intellectual, but he doesn't say anything interesting. There's nothing that guy ever says where I'm like, wow, that's a unique insight. That's the thing. Fucking never. It's childish with a good vocabulary. No, I think he's a smart guy. I think he's probably smarter than he is funny. I think that drives him crazy. Yeah, but he's also... [1:33:09] too obsessed with himself to be reflective enough to understand like why other people don't like him wait you're saying the guy who talks by himself for five minutes before the president comes on 15 minutes if there wasn't for fast forward there would be no maripakas yeah and that was just the rant yeah exactly just the rant imagine but anyway so it's just like the rant is what killed the show by the way if he didn't have the rant he probably wouldn't be like bottom 200 i think i think better

[1:33:39] There's that too, but it's also like he's not that good at talking to people. He's not nice. So I don't know. My whole feeling about it is just like we know who the pieces of shit are in our industry. Right. And we're aware of it because we've seen them from the jump. If I'm sitting down with a comedian, right? This is why I don't fuck with a lot of them. If you immediately start talking shit about your co-host to me when I'm sitting down with you, I got to start questioning your integrity a little bit. It's like, that's your boy. Why are you shit-talking your boy to me? [1:34:08] Right. So it's yeah, but you saw a lot of these guys, man, you saw it. You saw a lot of these guys. You saw and they and it's and it's like I think a lot of this is just salvation, to be honest with you. [1:34:19] Yeah. It's like they see an internet trend, and I think that like right now there's this internet trend. Oh, the fucking Manosphere, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I think I see guys. [1:34:28] who... [1:34:29] You were very generous to like you let your platform your millions of followers the biggest show on the planet helped them make tons of money help them really have success build their own platforms and now they see like an internet trend about like the man is fear whatever and I see guys like trying to create a little separation. I see all the sudden is like yeah you you use this guy to make millions of dollars and get all these fans and now you see online outrage and you're like, oh no, that's them. That's not me. It's like you had no problem being part of the Avengers. [1:34:58] You know what I mean? You had no problem being in the photos. You had no problem before. And now you see a little shit going on. You separate. I feel like that's the moment you double down for your boy. That's the moment you go, I know that person. What people are saying about him isn't real.

[1:35:12] And you refute that. That's what I would do. [1:35:14] I mean, whatever. There's a lot of cowards out there in the world. They're scared. They're scared, and this is like a time of real attacks. Like in the past, like say in the 90s or something like that, if you supported Andrew Dice Clay or something like that, you didn't really get any heat. Nobody cared. You could do an interview, and you're like, I think Dice is hilarious. You wouldn't lose sponsors. Nothing would happen. But now there will be like an organized campaign to try to take you out. Oh, yeah, with bots. Yeah. [1:35:44] I think the bots thing is real. You pay for it. You can hire them. And why? And there's other countries that are involved in that shit, too. Not to be like, it's not even conspiratorial. But like, I think a little bit. That's what the comedy festival, the rehab thing was a little bit. Probably. Because it was so peculiar. It's like they're so they're already so entrenched into like our entertainment. And then all of a sudden we went out. And I think this episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared. [1:36:14] if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. They're the smarter option when it comes to home security because their systems help prevent and stop crime in real time before it starts. There's also no long-term contracts and no technician appointments. You can get a custom system and set it up in one afternoon by yourself or even sooner. It's one of many reasons why millions of people continue to trust and use SimpliSafe.

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[1:38:30] A 30-second TikTok dictate their opinions about the world. Like, they're not fact-checking. They're not doing anything about it. And there are people that, like, consider themselves journalists that will do it. 100%. Like, there's this little Nepo baby. He's like Kennedy's grandkid or some shit like that that was, like, talking all this shit about it. And one thing he said is that, like, because I called him a Nepo baby because he never had a job. I don't care if your dad's, but if you never had a real job, like, you know. Right. [1:39:00] You don't know how much the electric bill. Yeah, you're a child. [1:39:04] And then he goes, oh, Schultz is married into the Turner dynasty. Like my wife's name is Turner. He thinks that my wife's family is like Turner, Ted Turner. Like this is a guy who his job is journalist. He calls himself a journal and he couldn't even do the bare minimum. He saw another TikTok that said something that's completely untrue. The Turner dynasty. I mean, it'd be nice. [1:39:34] Go, Ted. Cough it up if you've been hiding. But, like, this is the level of discourse. And then that shit hits TikTok and then people start repeating things. Like, there's just so much fake shit. Well, the dumb thing is you were already rich when you got married. [1:39:47] The dumb thing is not her family. It's not her family, but even if it was, if you married the child of a rich family, you were already rich. We did all right. It was stupid. Yeah. It's stupid. Like, this is why he made it. No, no, no, bitch. He was already famous. Shut the fuck up. It just doesn't make any sense. And you see these narratives, they take hold, and then they just become reality. Uh-huh. And it's one of those things, like, you can't fight the internet.

[1:40:13] No, you know, it's just like people say things and then they just become they look to become reality. It's like, yes. And like, I've seen it happen with you. And then I think that there's like there's obviously these different levels in comedy. So you don't imagine it happening to yourself and then you're in it. Uh huh. [1:40:30] Yeah. And... [1:40:31] Yeah, it's just wild, man. This is wild. Like there's these people who say that like – I remember when I bought back the special and then I sold it. Yes. And then they're like – and then he put it out on YouTube. It's like there's literally a video of me going, if you can't afford it, steal it. [1:40:48] And if you can't figure out how to steal it, [1:40:51] I'll put it up on YouTube. It's like I can't be more clear, but it's a way funnier narrative to be like, "Oh, this is what happened, blah, blah, blah, blah." It's just like, guys. He got your money and then he put it up for free on YouTube and he's getting more money. I'm saying steal it if you can't afford it and then I'm going to put it up on YouTube in the future. And it's like, what do I do in that situation? Listen, man, I went to see SpaceX launch on Monday. Jamie and I went down there. We went down to South Texas, watched a rocket launch. [1:41:20] It's one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life. I got a tour of the SpaceX facility. One of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life. I sat with Elon in the command studio where they're going over the rocket as it's flying to Australia.

[1:41:50] internal pressure of the chambers and all these different things. And then I was watching a video of someone calling him a fuckwit. I think he's a fuckwit. This guy was like, I think he's a fuckwit. His rockets keep blowing up. Like the rockets are literally blowing up on purpose because they're testing the parameter. They're testing what are the tolerances of these structures. Oh, so they're pushing the limit to see where it is. 100%. He's like, we know we're going to blow some up. But they can produce rockets so much faster than NASA. [1:42:20] You think he's a fuckwit, but it doesn't matter. It's not real. Like, I saw comedians say that he was a Nazi. He's a Nazi because he said, my heart goes out to you. Because he did the thing that they all do. Right, right, right. It looked crazy. It looked crazy. It looked crazy, but doing the thing doesn't make you a Nazi. [1:42:40] believing what Nazis believe makes you a Nazi. Yeah. And I think that's the separation. I think they're like – [1:42:45] Once you have an idea of somebody, you can't wait to confirm it. Right. And the Internet is full of 30-second clips that will confirm whatever you believe. 100%. And they will be sent right to your phone. I've been thinking about it recently. Remember when cigarettes came out or even fast food? When we were going up, was fast food unhealthy? It was just food. It was just food. We just ate it as food. This generation knows that it's unhealthy. They don't stop eating it, but at least they're aware, right? They know the nutrition facts. [1:43:15] what I think is like [1:43:16] That with internet content. Yes. If a video gets sent to your phone from an account you don't follow The immediate reaction should be like this is a Big Mac. I'll indulge in it, but it's not nutritious Right do you know what I mean? Like there's a reason why it's being sent right? It's gonna confirm whatever biases I have It's either gonna scare me or it's gonna make me really happy. There's gonna be this dopamine release And I think that we need to start realizing that like the second I see any video on the internet now and

[1:43:43] Outside of peanut butter? [1:43:45] Peanut butter I love. [1:43:46] Love my man, peanut butter. But like I'm immediately skeptical. I'm like, what exactly is happening here? Why is this being sent to me? What is this confirming? Like, that's my immediate reaction. I think that the next generation, at least kids, will definitely look at things like that. I hope. [1:44:16] Rage farming. They're doing it on purpose. [1:44:19] And they're doing it specifically to try to get us at each other's throats. Don't fall into it. Don't be a sucker. [1:44:25] Don't be a sucker. Or there's people that are like – [1:44:29] They're just doing it because they need views and clicks. [1:44:32] You know, like this is and that's something that I realize is like there's this like there's this like beautiful little time in comedy where like you're everybody's hero. Right. Because you're the unsung hero. Like everybody feels like they they're the only ones that know about you. [1:44:47] And they are the only ones that know what you're doing and like everybody's riding. And then you do eventually some people, if you're lucky enough and fortunate enough to transcend it, where like your name can be part of pop culture. [1:44:58] The benefit of that is like you get to provide for your family. You get to live your dreams. You get to do fucking arenas. It's amazing. [1:45:04] There's a negative that we have to put up with. I'm not fucking complaining. It's awesome. But like the negative is your name can be attached to any story your pictures attached to any story like.

[1:45:14] Bro, I saw there was a video on the internet where it was like Joe Rogan ripping on his guests. And it's a picture of me and you. And I'm like, when the fuck did this happen? [1:45:24] I watched the video. We didn't even end it together. Yeah, all the time. It's you. I see that. It's you and the guy who didn't understand if you're born a man or a woman. I forget what it was. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like that guy's face isn't going to get clicks. Right. Me and you, homies going at it. Right? [1:45:44] That is the internet in a microcosm. [1:45:46] And I'm not saying that, like, you need to... [1:45:49] I believe maybe more personal accountability. Like, I'm not saying we should make the Internet change what it is. The Internet's going to be what it is. We just got to be aware of what we're consuming. Don't ban fast food. Just be aware that when you eat a Big Mac, you might not feel as good as when you eat a fucking chicken salad. It's not healthy, but have fun. You want to watch, like, Colombian assassinations and grainy security video cameras? Have at it. Have at it. I like it, too. I like to watch. I mean, look at my phone. It's mostly, like, assassinations and tits. Bro, the amazing thing about it is, like... [1:46:19] Nobody thinks they have radical thoughts. [1:46:23] Because they're so normalized. Right. By every video confirming your thought. Right. So it's like. [1:46:30] I used to think like liking feet was unique. You know what I mean? I scroll on Instagram for a little bit. I'm like, we're all into this. There's refined cultural people out there. And I think that's it with every political idea. That's it with every cultural idea. We are 100% rewarded in what we think. And then people say shit out loud. And then it becomes like a crazy...

[1:46:53] Yes. [1:46:56] Yeah. Honestly, I think that's what happened to a lot of folks with Riyadh, is that there was a lot of comics that were in that stage before pop culture, and... [1:47:06] They got their first experience of like internet backlash. [1:47:09] Because they like... Like Jessica Kurson. Jessica, who's fucking hilarious. Hilarious. Like literally hilarious. I've had her on a bunch of times. I love her. Lesbian. Very funny. Jewish. Super nice person. Apparently crushed out there. Yeah, I heard she got a standing ovation. Crushed. Yeah. Okay. Um... [1:47:26] And like to me, I'm like I've maybe made a different view of these things. It's like I think that like Western culture is so addictive. Like once you get a taste of this shit, like this is what you want. And I think there's a version of looking at this thing where like in 10 years later, they go, yeah, we need to we need to have more of this. And we need to have more people making fun of us. And we have more people making fun of themselves. And this is beautiful, like cultural exchange that maybe that's like looking through rose colored glasses. But that's how I look at these things. Yeah. Um. [1:47:50] And I'm going... [1:47:51] And then she's like she's experiencing that backlash because she never has I think she goes I toiled in obscurity for decades being hilarious but not having a fan base I finally got one and then you feel that internet backlash you think that's real and you're like oh my god I'm gonna lose everything that I've always dreamed I need to address this when in reality if you put your head down for two weeks. [1:48:10] Goes away. [1:48:11] Nobody will care. Yeah. [1:48:12] No, there's a tennis. That's Chris Rock's quote. What does he say? I've heard somebody say something similar to that. He says. I thought you told me that, actually. I thought you said, like, I just don't look at my phone. Well, I don't. I don't. But Chris's take on it was wait two weeks before you respond to anything. Yeah. And most likely to blow away. If it's still around after two weeks, then address it. Make a comedy special about it. Yeah. He went in a year. Yeah.

[1:48:34] He stewed. He stewed on that shit. He kind of milked it in the best way because if you think about it, [1:48:41] He got to tour that thing for a year and everybody was showing up to the shows because they're like, oh, I need to say. People were filming it, though. That was the problem. Some people pulled out their fucking phone and ruined the fun. [1:48:52] But I get why he's like, I might as well tour this shit. I'm not going to just address it right now. Let's go. Also, cook it. Make sure that bit is fucking, you got the right seasoning in there. You get that fucking thing over the stove. Make that sundae sauce, baby. Let's go. Make that ragu. Let's go. Yeah. It's a weird time for comedy, man. It's a fun time for comedy. Ari Shaffir said it best. What did he say? He said, comedy's dangerous again. [1:49:19] Yeah. This is what Ari loves. He loves chaos. That silly motherfucker. He loves when things go sideways. I love chaos, too, but not that much. He likes when the city burns down because he'll put on a backpack and go to Asia. Yeah, he gets to just dip. He really leaves it. He's dipped right now. I don't know where he is. He's hiding somewhere in the world. He'll dip for like three, four months. Throws his phone away. He ruins our text message thread because we've got to protect our parks. He turned the whole thing green. [1:49:49] thread that's called Fuck Ari. So it's just me and Norman and Jane. [1:49:54] It's like he's a legit wild boy, but he said it right. He said comedy is dangerous again. [1:50:01] And it is dangerous. [1:50:03] It's only dangerous if you let it be. Like, for people like Jessica, I wish she had talked to me. I would have said, don't listen to anybody. Don't read the comments. Fuck those people. Fuck.

[1:50:12] What you're doing is the Lakota people had a term called the Hayoka, and a Hayoka was a special member of society that made fun of everybody. It was an important part of their culture. He made fun of the chief. He made fun of the chief's wife. He made fun of everyone. And the idea was if you couldn't mock something, that it was bullshit. So he was stress testing all of these different things. So it was called the sacred clown. [1:50:42] Hayoke is. This is like built into American culture. American culture specifically. It's like why I want Trump to do the, what's that little news dinner? Press corps. Yeah. White House Correspondence Dinner. It's like why I want him to do it because [1:50:56] Look, we have a relationship with government in America that from its inception is antagonistic. Yes. Right? Like we fought the war because we're like, you don't get to tell us what to do. And then we set up systems of government that basically stopped one person from telling us what to do. And then we have this great thing where once a year, the guy who's in charge, the most powerful guy, gets humbled in front of all of us. And it's this beautiful thing that is like uniquely American. [1:51:24] I know there's somebody right now who's in France. We've been doing this forever. Shut the fuck up. To me, it's uniquely us. It's our thing. And I love the idea of like humbling our heroes. It's my roast work. It's my seeing like Tom Brady, whoever it was, like on the roast. [1:51:38] And the more powerful, the more successful, the more that they've got, we like that kind of humbling because we have that antagonistic relationship with the people in charge or even our heroes. It's a beautiful fucking thing. And afterwards, we kind of embrace those people even more. We appreciate that you were taken to your knees, if you will, in that moment. Did you ever see when Jeff Ross and Comedy Central, they roasted Trump?

[1:52:02] Yeah, I've seen obviously clips. He had a conversation with Trump. [1:52:05] What'd he say? He said, hey, when they're going after you, just laugh. You got to laugh. You got to smile. If they look over at you and you got a serious look on your face, it's not good. He's like, yeah, you're right. [1:52:15] He realized. He was like, yeah, you got to laugh it off. You got to let it go. [1:52:19] You know, that's the White House press correspondence. You've got to be able to let it go. Let it go. Let it rip. Make fun of them. Make fun of everybody. Make fun of the press corps. But it's this beautiful, humbling thing. But the thing about Trump is like the White House press correspondence thing is literally why he became president in the first place. Yeah, I remember that. [1:52:36] When Obama was like, here's one thing that I am that you'll never be, president of the United States. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if that's how it works, Trump will never have free health care. [1:52:50] You'll never do that. I promise you. Yeah. You'll never stop every war. Right. That's what you have to do. Yeah. You have to challenge them. But yeah, I just, I think. [1:52:58] I think those things are really important. I just think they're important, like cultural institutions for us specifically. It doesn't work the same – [1:53:04] in other places that don't have that kind of antagonistic relationship with government. Right. There are places that they just do not have it. Like, they actually have, like, a really – [1:53:13] grateful and appreciative relationship. Or their government doesn't have any free speech law, like England. Like what England's going through right now is crazy. That's the thing I was trying to tell people is like when people keep talking about free speech, it's like stop acting like that's the norm. [1:53:28] We're the unique ones. Yes. In Canada, they don't have free speech.

[1:53:32] They have free freedom of expression or something like that. Yeah, but it's carved out with certain things like hate crimes or hate speech. [1:53:40] I mean – Hate speech is weird because it's very subjective. Who defines it was hate? Exactly. Right? So it's like – and I remember when them truckers were protesting. They were freezing the accounts like – [1:53:50] There's just – yeah. It's just a uniquely American thing, which is amazing, and we need to protect it at all costs. One hundred percent. And we need to protect it and propagate it through the world. And that's why we should get upset when England starts cracking down on free speech because that's a disease. And if that disease spreads and if England falls – all of a sudden, England is essentially a totalitarian dictatorship. If they're a totalitarian dictatorship, we're in real fucking trouble, man. I don't think we are. [1:54:20] But I get that logic. I get this idea that things are trendy. No, we aren't right now. No, no. I hear what you're saying. Trends do build steam, and then people ask for it, and they see other things working. I get that. I think that makes sense. [1:54:34] Functionally in the world you know, but like my shit is like I care about American free speech. That's what I go for I'm an American. I want us to be all good if the other countries want to get on board with it. I get on board with it That'd be great. The problem is they bring that shit over here. Just like when people show over let me tell you something in the night like 2015-16 when I started talking shit about college campuses people like why are you worried about these kids on college campuses with these Marxist ideas? I was like they're gonna graduate like [1:55:01] I'm a person who sees where things are moving, which is why I got out of California so early. I was like, I see where this is going. You've got to get the fuck out now. This is not good. And I'm like, they're going to get out of this school, and they're going to start working for corporations, and it's going to flood the country with these nonsensical ideas. They're going to be in government. They're going to be in positions of power, 100 percent? 100 percent. And these corporations are going to bend to whatever makes them the most money? Right, which is why it's dangerous if England goes.

[1:55:31] or they're trying to force the digital ID on people, and they have arrested 12,000 people for social media posts. And some of them are just critical about the amount of immigration that's coming in, and they're putting them in jail for this. So if that is a trend, and that starts spreading through Europe, and they lock those people down, because those people don't have guns, they don't have free speech laws, they don't have any of the things that protect us. So you're worried about them in terms of it becoming a trend and then impacting us. [1:56:01] world and we're the only and they're like the problem the consequences of free speech is an unsafe society yeah we have to protect the marginalized groups yeah you know how that ends that ends with a military dictatorship and all those people that help them get into play all those leftists they all get killed because they're the people that are going to resist the government having this kind of tyrannical power that they helped them get in the first place that's what [1:56:31] They all do. They use the leftists to get into positions of power, and then once they take over, they kill everybody. Fuck you. Okay, that's a fair argument that you're bringing on, how it could impact us. It's a wolf with a grandma outfit on. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is. Yeah, yeah. It's a big mama's house. Yeah, it's a wolf. [1:56:54] Tyler Perry presents Marxism for Americans.

[1:57:01] Yo, if you guys want free speech, fight for it. Like, we fought for it. Like, people shed blood for it. They constantly are fighting for it nonstop. You guys go fight for it. Vote those people out first. Don't fucking... No, no, no. I don't mean... That's what the problem is, like, saying that. I know. If I say that, then I'll think... I meant for, like, America... [1:57:19] Like, [1:57:20] As a nation state has constantly fought to maintain this thing and went through incredibly difficult times to do it because it's like a core tenant to our belief and our identity. And if other countries want that, they have to put in that same effort through politics. I'm not saying go be violent. Right, right, right. But the way we fought for it was like we fought for it. We banged out. It was like, yeah. We banged out. It got rough. But we're wild boys. That's why I'm not worried about like – like we are the collection of the craziest people on the planet. [1:57:50] the wildest motherfuckers on earth one island took over most of the world and now they're just arguing with wigs on like what the fuck happened do you know what i mean like does this happen every country like you see the guy with the wig that sentenced the guy to 20 months of custodial service because he was complaining about immigrants have you ever seen that video [1:58:11] It is the craziest video because it is 2025 or 2024, and it's a guy wearing a wig who's sentencing a guy for a 20-month sentence who just made a post criticizing immigrants. [1:58:26] Well, what was he saying about the immigrants? Well, he was talking about these gangs of guys are coming in from the places they bombed the fuck out of. Oh, they wouldn't be upset at all. Yeah. Why would they be worried about it? Don't.

[1:58:37] Listen, you got to listen to this guy. See if you can find that video of that guy. Because it's him wearing the wig is so crazy. Yeah. And while he's saying something that's so insane in the age of the internet and it's on TikTok. Bro, this is like. [1:58:53] Oh, I don't care what they cut out of it. Just him saying it, I don't care what context it is. He's reading off the guy's tweets and then saying, because of what you said, I have no choice but to sentence you to jail. [1:59:09] People to participate in attacks on a hotel housing asylum seekers. Comments that encouraged people. [1:59:17] was over comments that encouraged every man and their dog should be smashing the fuck at a Britannia hotel. [1:59:23] The judge quotes one of his parlor posts responding to a user who said, I'm down if you are a lad, so that he was starting – he was inciting violence. I mean, don't tell people to go hurt people. Your motivation became clear when you informed the police you promoted the idea of attacking the Britannia hotels as a result of anger and frustration and immigration problems in the country. So what was his post, though? [1:59:46] You want to say that you do not want your money going to immigrants who rape our kids and get priority. The judge later said the overall effect of your post was to incite violence toward the building and therefore towards those in the hotel. It was not only the refugees and asylum seekers who were likely to be affected by your post, but also the hotel managers, the night porters, and those who worked within the hotel. That's actually reasonable. In that case, I see what you're saying.

[2:00:12] Incitement to violence is illegal, even in America. [2:00:14] Right? Like, it's like... [2:00:16] It's a different thing than just freedom of speech. Yeah. So that is different. Yeah, you shouldn't tell people to hurt people. The guy wearing the wig. [2:00:24] Yeah, it makes it look insane. It's like, what, what, what, like, you have to have a special outfit for me to take you seriously. Because if you're just like a regular guy and you're saying you were inciting violence. Yeah. And then the guy go, yeah, but do you know what the people in that hotel did? Yeah. Let me tell you what they've done. Let me tell you, those guys, they've raped underage girls. They have grooming gangs. They live there. They're getting priority. They're getting paid our money. They're on the dole. Like, you could even have a conversation. Yeah. This guy's yelling out to the abyss on Parler. Yeah. Because he doesn't know where else to go. Yeah. [2:00:54] Well, the solution to that is I put you in a cage. Yeah, yeah. [2:00:57] Look at that, it was on his wig! [2:00:59] Put the thing on so you can hear this. [2:01:09] come over here with no work visa [2:01:12] No trade to their name and sit down and doss. [2:01:17] and then there's more people being put out homeless each year. [2:01:21] they get top band priority points. [2:01:25] on housing. [2:01:26] You went on to say that you did not want your money going to immigrants who, quote, rape our kids and get priority. [2:01:36] End quote. [2:01:39] Although you said that you had no intention of carrying out any act of violence,

[2:01:45] there can be no doubt that you were inciting others to do so. [2:01:51] Otherwise, [2:01:52] Why post the comment? [2:01:56] You expressed remorse, but by that time... [2:01:59] It was too late. [2:02:01] Thank you. [2:02:02] For the offence of publishing written material in order to stir up racial hatred, there are sentencing guidelines which I must and will follow. [2:02:12] The maximum sentence is [2:02:14] is seven years' imprisonment. [2:02:17] In my judgment, this comes close. [2:02:21] to harm category one. However, for the purposes of this sentence, I will treat you as falling into category two, since there was no direct encouragement. [2:02:33] towards activity which [2:02:35] threatens or endangers life. [2:02:38] However... [2:02:40] you fall towards the top. [2:02:42] of category 2. [2:02:45] For a category 2A offence, the starting point is two years imprisonment with a range between one and four years custody. [2:02:54] in mitigation. [2:02:56] I take into account your plea of guilty, for which you will receive full credit of one-third. [2:03:02] following your earlier admissions. [2:03:05] I take account of the contents of the references from your mother, friend and employer. [2:03:11] These can only be of limited value [2:03:15] in the current circumstances as can the contents of the pre-sentence report.

[2:03:21] I take account, too, of your expression of remorse, your lack of convictions which are racially aggravated. [2:03:31] as is recognized on your behalf, this offense is so serious. [2:03:36] that an immediate custodial sentence is [2:03:39] unavoidable. [2:03:41] The sentence that I pass has been reduced by one third to reflect your guilty plea. [2:03:48] The sentence is one of 20 months' imprisonment. [2:03:52] In response... [2:03:53] This is tricky because the guy did incite violence, but you shouldn't be doing it. [2:03:59] Thank you. [2:04:00] You know? Yeah. You shouldn't be doing it. I think a lot of people are very naive of what the impact of a post if they're an anonymous person. Yeah. You know, they're very naive of how that's going to be perceived. And, you know, they're just venting like they would be venting at the barbershop. Right? If they're hanging out at the barbershop, like, fuck those people. Someone should go over there and kick their ass. Yeah. [2:04:19] Yeah. [2:04:20] Yeah. Yeah. People are looking for people also looking for community. They're looking to feel like validated in their beliefs. Like it also pretty it is pretty wild that these people are coming over to Europe and even to America as a direct result of military campaigns. So that's the other thing I found so funny is that like they're not going over there because where they live is awesome. [2:04:45] And like there's reasons why it's not awesome. [2:04:49] And there needs to be a little accountability for that. Like I heard even like British comedians, they were like shitting on – doing the Saudi or even like shows in the Middle East and they're like they employ people at slave wages, et cetera, to build it. And it's just like –

[2:05:05] Guys, I wonder what happened. I wonder what country did something to India back in the day that created a scenario where those people might have to leave their country. [2:05:16] to get a job, to afford, to... [2:05:18] provide food for their whole families back in India. I wonder what country might have plundered India and stripped it of all of its wealth for fucking, I don't even know how long, that created this scenario. Like, you can't just remove yourself from that. Have you ever read that book about that one corporation? Yeah, what is it? That basically turned India into a country, like a factory, essentially? Yeah, literally. Well, what was it? Was that not a... God, I forget the name. I read the book a while ago. I saw like a YouTube video on this. Well, I should say I listened to it. [2:05:48] a while ago. [2:05:50] I can't remember the name of the corporation. Jamie, you've got to hold us down. [2:05:53] It is a crazy story, though, and that's England. So you guys, your ancestors did it. [2:06:02] It's the chickens have come home to roost. Yeah. It doesn't mean that you have to be okay with it. No. You have to at least be understanding of like how this scenario was created. Yeah. [2:06:12] But it's also clearly they're letting them in. [2:06:15] And they're letting them in. And the thing is like, oh, we've got to do something to stop this violence. Now we have Rise of East India Company. That's it. The Anarchy. The Relentless Rise of the East India Company. Crazy book. Oh, dear. [2:06:27] it's all [2:06:29] It's all real. Like what fucking Leopold did to the Congo. Oh, God. It's like 25 million people. Oh, God. Yeah. The Congo thing is nuts, man, because a bunch of these settlers thought that they were going to live in the Congo, and they set up these beautiful mansions. And the forest just came. They just swallowed it up. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. Just let them know you're not welcome. One of the truly wild places in the world. There's still images of these places, these like Elizabethan, is that the type of architecture? They're just completely swallowed. Swallowed by the jungle. Yeah.

[2:06:59] The wildest part of the world is where we need to go to get the minerals to make the batteries in your cell phone. Maybe that's why it's the wildest? No, no, no. It was always wild. It's wild because it's inhospitable. I mean, they have the largest chimpanzees in the world there. They have those Bondo apes there. [2:07:15] In the Congo, in this place called Beely, they have this one subset of chimpanzees that's really large. And they call them lion killers. They have two different types of chimps that the locals describe. Tree beaters and lion killers. The lion killers, they sleep on the ground like gorillas. They don't give a fuck. They don't have to hide in trees. They're like, come get me, bitch. They're like six foot tall, upright chimpanzees. You know that Michael Crichton book, Congo? No, no. They made a movie. Crichton's Jurassic Park? Yes. [2:07:45] a movie, it was kind of a goofy movie, about the Congo. And the Congo, in the movie, there's these, like, gray chimpanzees that are huge. And, obviously, that's not real. But that's what they're based on. But it's based on this one subset of chimpanzees that actually has a crest on its skull like a gorilla. So, you know, gorillas have such large mandible, because all they eat is vegetables, that they have this, this is the Michael Crichton movie, it was kind of goofy. Look at these big, silly gorillas. Oh, wow. [2:08:15] They look so bad. Oh, wow. But the book is a lot better. [2:08:19] But in reality, there's a thing called the Bondo ape. And there's a – I guess there's a Swedish or Swiss wildlife photographer named Carl Armand who became obsessed with this.

[2:08:30] animal and started catching it in camera traps and there was photos of these guys that see if you can find the photo of the guys at the airport where they shot one. So these guys look at this these guys but that's not it. No no no the one that one above it. No no yeah that it that's it. Look at the size of that fucking thing. Look at the size of that thing. It's like a gorilla sized chimpanzee. [2:08:54] And there's different photos of them on camera traps where they're. Holy shit. No, that's a, that's a, that's an orangutan, I think. [2:09:02] Or a gorilla. But... [2:09:05] They have video these things now. They know that they're a subset of chimpanzees. That's not a really big one. That looks like just a big chimp. But the idea is that this place is, like, rugged. I mean, this is leopards and it's scary. But, like, Joe, there's a lot of rugged places. I just feel like when there's a place that's resource-rich, there's going to be a lot of conflict around it. Oh, well, that's the Amazon, too. Yeah. Same kind of situation, like really wild, pristine jungle. [2:09:35] make cattle farms and log farms. [2:09:38] But like, isn't it to the best interest of the parties that are invested in the resources there for there not to be social cohesion? [2:09:46] It's easier to manage if everybody is fighting because if there is social cohesion, you have a situation like – what is it? Rhodesia, which just basically goes, hey, we're going to be a great country by the way, and we're going to take back our mining rights, and we're going to make sure that we own our resources, and we're going to educate our people, and we're going to have a high GDP. It's a pretty amazing story.

[2:10:06] It's tied into it, and they're like, okay, well, we can't let that happen in the Congo. We've got to keep this shit a little bit chaotic. Yes. Because aren't there like, especially with the battery stuff, aren't there like only nine different mines for that? And like China owns seven or something? Something like that. I don't know how many mines there are, but China owns a bunch of them. And that's Siddharth Kara wrote a book on it. [2:10:36] to protect themselves from the toxic fumes. I'm performing there next week. Bye! [2:10:42] I look forward to David Cross's blog about it. [2:10:48] My favorite post. The people who are not invited and don't have to even go. I really wouldn't. He probably wouldn't. David probably wouldn't. We'll see. [2:10:58] There's a thing. We'll see. Yeah, I remember when David Cross wrote a letter to Larry the Cable Guy. He was shitting on Larry the Cable Guy in like an open letter. Yeah. [2:11:08] and at the like the bottom of the post it was like from new york city he signed it like from new york city [2:11:15] I saw him getting upset that Norman farted on his podcast. That Mark Norman farted? Yeah, and like telling him that a fart isn't funny. And like once I see you do that, I'm just like, what are you even talking about? Well, first of all, Norman is funny, period. Yeah. So if he's funny and he also farts, okay, who cares? Well, also farts are funny. And Norman said it. He's like, that wasn't a joke. That was not funny. And then Norman says...

[2:11:37] A sound came out of my butt. [2:11:41] That's always funny. It's funny when a baby does it. It's funny when an adult does it. It is the funniest thing. What are we fucking talking about here? Like, obviously. It's funny. It's funny because you're like, oh, no. [2:11:52] And then he just dropped the N-word on the pod and not Norman Cross. And then Norman's like, you're going to cut that out? He's like, no, you don't have to cut it out. It has the A-H. And it's like, oh, well, thank you, white guy. You tell us what N-words we're allowed to say. You can tell us where the comedians are not allowed to perform, but you tell the black community what N-words you're allowed to say. Yeah. It's kind of hilarious. Yeah. [2:12:13] You know, there's a hard N-word in Bob Dylan's Hurricane. [2:12:19] I got a song the hurricane I got a little hurricane story you want to hear really yeah you met that guy no my My dad interviewed his lawyer and [2:12:30] Reuben Carter's lawyer? Yeah. Really? And his lawyer says – his lawyer says – [2:12:38] Off the record? [2:12:39] My dad goes, yeah. [2:12:40] He goes, he did that shit. [2:12:48] I probably shouldn't even say that. I probably shouldn't even say it right now. But the lawyer just tells my dad, he's like, yeah. Bob Dylan just made it all racial. He did it. Yeah, that's hilarious. Who knows? Maybe the lawyer's wrong. [2:13:02] Or maybe he's right. Maybe he's right. [2:13:04] Good song. [2:13:06] Didn't they have a movie about it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And in the movie, there's like a really racist cop.

[2:13:12] That's like targeting him through the whole movie. And apparently the guy was a total construct. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't like one cop who was like really interested. He was chasing him. They use it as a vehicle to push the storyline, which I always think is gross when you're doing something about a historical person. Yeah. I think that's gross. Yeah. Yeah. [2:13:34] You have an obligation, though. If you're making a movie about a historical person, you can't have a character that moves your plot along that didn't exist. Because now you're changing history for a lot of dumbasses who don't read a book. I mean, that's what the people who... Which is most of us. That's what the people who fucking... [2:13:51] dictate what history is. I was talking to... Sort of, but they're just doing it to make the movie better. Yes, exactly. That's their responsibility is to make money. I was talking to Shane about this, and we were just talking about ancient history. He's like, I don't fuck with the ancient history. I'm like, why not? [2:14:09] Nobody really knows what fucking Augustus said to this guy. People are just making it up and writing it down afterwards. You really kind of barely even know what happened 50 years ago or like 100 years ago. And I think that's one of the reasons why if you get into antiquity, it's so interesting because it's just been like – [2:14:26] mythologized. Yeah. So everything is so much more remarkable and amazing, and the people are so much more resilient because they've been retelling the story for 2,000 years. If you want people to listen to that story, you've got to make it interesting. Yeah. No doubt. Yeah, you've got to make it interesting. And the thing is also you have to remember it.

[2:14:44] And then you have to tell it to people before anybody even figures out how to write things down. So they're saying it for a thousand years before they even write it down. That's my issue with the Bible. I think the Bible is a historical account of something. [2:14:59] And I think one of the real problems with the Bible is as you get older and older – [2:15:05] with the Bible, things get weirder and weirder. [2:15:08] So it's like, what was the original story? Like if you get to the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Dead Sea Scrolls are bananas. And there's stuff in the Dead Sea Scrolls. Like if you get like – I had Rep Luna, you know, Anna Paulina Luna on the podcast. And she was talking to me about the Book of Enoch. She goes, you ever read that? But that's not included in the canonized. Here's why. Because of rabbis. A bunch of rabbis said it didn't align with the Torah. And so they yanked it out. But it's an original biblical text or at least a part of the original religious text that they found in the Dead Sea Scrolls. [2:15:38] in Qumran, when they found those clay tablets, the Book of Enoch was in there along with the Book of Isaiah. We need to call Wesley Huff. The Book of Enoch is nuts. I talked to Wes Huff about it. That's the Giants one, right? It's not just the Giants. It's aliens. It's about the watchers who came down and mated with human beings. Bro, I'm reading it right now. I know you are. I already know. Bananas. She told me to read it. And she was like, she's like, you have to read this. It's nuts. And what did Wes Huff say? Did he say there's a legitimacy? Yeah, it's 100% of a legitimate text. [2:16:08] legitimate religious text, but they decided not to include it because it's so nuts and because it goes against the writings of the Torah. But it was a few rabbis, just a few rabbis decided. Like if the book of Enoch was included in the Bible, it changes the whole story of the human race.

[2:16:26] Because back then they had that kind of power. They just decided that it doesn't get included in the canon. This is a long time ago. But yeah, I mean this is like around – well, who decided to canonize Bible, right? This is a really Constantine time, right? Well, that's for the New Testament, right? And so with the Old Testament, you've got to – Westhoff would be the guy to ask all these questions. But wait a minute. Enoch was included in the Old Testament. Oh, it's old as fuck. Okay, got it, got it, got it, got it. Not only is it old as fuck, when they found it, they also found a version of the book of Isaiah. This is one of the things that Westhoff told me that was really fascinating. [2:16:56] That is verbatim the same as a version of the version of Isaiah that was a thousand years later, which they thought was the original. Unbelievable. [2:17:06] That's what's crazy. For 1,000 years, they maintained the exact same story verbatim, writing it down and passing it on. And the Book of Enoch's in there with that. [2:17:17] And the Book of Enoch is bananas. Yeah, I think we might need to do a little deep dive on the Book of Enoch. The Book of Enoch, it says that these watchers came down and mated with human beings and created a race of giants called the Nephilim who consumed and destroyed everything in front of them. Gee, that sounds like people. Yeah. That sounds a lot like people. Yeah.

[2:17:47] who's like chopping off heads and lighting villages on fire and has this undesirable, unstoppable desire for conquest. That's humans. The Nephilim sounds like humans. Exactly. So they're not giants. We are the giants. And then what if the other folks – They might have been giants. It's hard to say. But what if the other folks were the Neanderthals? [2:18:06] Because there was a time where we're living together, right? Right. Well, they were here before us, allegedly. Well, the question is, like, where did humans come from? This is the real question. There's a really interesting show on PBS right now called Human, where this lady goes on this journey of – it's like she's – what is her degree in? Is she an anthropologist? I believe she's an anthropologist. Or maybe some sort of biologist. But she goes over the history of the human species. It's very interesting. [2:18:36] from across the Bering Land Bridge into North America, when the oldest people started coming here, how they came here. Fascinating stuff. But that's one of those things. Like, if you think ancient history is filled with horseshit, like ancient history... [2:18:52] human history, like the humans, that's the woman's name. I don't want to fuck up her name. Ella Al-Shamahi. [2:19:02] It's on BBC and PBS. Really good show. I just started watching it. She's a paleontologist. Green genetics and taxonomy and biodiversity. [2:19:13] But... [2:19:13] They just found recently a human skull that pushes the date of humans back another 500,000 years. Yeah.

[2:19:21] So it's like all they know is what they find in the fossil record. There's so little fossil record. And then they keep finding new things. Like they just found Denisovans in like 2010. They're like, "What is that?" What's this? Total new branch of the human tree. It's called Denisovans. Denisovans. Yeah, they found like a bunch of teeth, I think, in Asia. And they're like, "What the fuck is this?" Or maybe it was Russia. [2:19:45] There's that. There's the one that they found in China, the big head people. Yeah, that's the one I said. That's real recent. That's real recent. I forget what that one's called. Yeah. [2:19:53] We've done this a million times, but I always forget. So they're always finding these new versions of humans. So how many of them really were there? If there's a bunch of science experiments, if aliens are coming down and I'm like, let's try them where they're short and really powerful and they only eat meat. And that's Neanderthals. I was like, stop. This one's not a good design. This is not a good design. We need them a little more frail so they invent things because the brutes don't invent anything. Yeah, more frontal cortex. [2:20:23] Well, the Neanderthals had bigger brains than us. That's what's interesting. So then what part of our brain was specifically different? See, we have a very... [2:20:33] We... [2:20:34] Our idea of them is that they're dumb. [2:20:37] And they couldn't talk and that they were brutes. But it doesn't seem like that's true. In fact, it seems like they had art, they definitely had tools, and they had language. And they might have been as smart as us. They were just different. And maybe us being a little weaker is what made us smarter. What made us work collectively. Maybe we're a little more alien. Just a touch. Right. There's a little too much salt in that, Stu. Let's add a touch more of us.

[2:21:07] seven 200 pound fucking savages with big eyes that might be able to see at night because it looks like they might have had night vision they have huge eyeballs right the neanderthal eye sockets way bigger than ours their skulls thicker their bones are more dense they might have had night vision like a dog [2:21:27] You know how dogs, their eyes glow when the headlights hit them? They might have had that same ability. [2:21:32] Hmm... [2:21:34] I mean, yeah, I don't know why. That design's too sketchy. They can see at night, and then they go hunting other people. This is too much. But then we hunted them. [2:21:44] Maybe. We might have just fucked him. I also heard we fucked him. You had that joke, right? One more time with the monkey. [2:21:57] All right, you know when a comic gets off stage and they think they killed but they bombed? Right. [2:22:03] people telling those stories in the books. [2:22:07] There could be. Meaning their rendition of what happened. Yes. Yes. [2:22:12] is... [2:22:13] in the book and that is what they truly believed happened. They might not even be delusional. I mean, they are delusional, but that's what they saw and that's what happened to them. And history is always written by the winners. Exactly. [2:22:36] any politician or any person who's in charge of anything that's like really important that I would say never lies.

[2:22:44] So if you were back then where there's zero accountability, zero video, zero anything, they can't even write. Well, that's where the cross-referencing makes sense, right? It's like that's when you've got a bunch of different people saying the same thing or similar things. You start to go, okay, maybe this did happen. But I don't know. There's something – [2:23:02] Okay. [2:23:02] There is something about it. You know, like every time I go to church and like whatever, something about the music. [2:23:08] I get like emotional and I've tried to like reflect on and understand like what it is. [2:23:13] I don't know if it's like seeing people submit to this power that's greater than them. There's just like, I get really emotional about it. I don't know what the hell it is. [2:23:23] Well, it's a combined shared experience that you're having with all the people that are in that building, too. Yeah. There's something to that. And I'm just like watching – yeah. Like maybe it's – like maybe I'm a little cynical and skeptical. Yeah. [2:23:36] And, like, I can get caught up in... [2:23:39] the raw emotion... [2:23:42] of submitting to something that you cannot control. And maybe there's a part of me that [2:23:47] that really kind of envies that and wants to in the same way that like... Right, because you have a lot of control. [2:23:53] I don't know if I have any, but like maybe I want that. No, you do. You have a lot of discipline. Discipline, yes. Yeah, but a person like yourself that has a lot of discipline and a lot of work ethic, that doesn't come without control over yourself. Yes. And you want to submit and give in to something sometimes. And there's something beautiful in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like seeing people do it so willingly, like I get fucking emotional. It's... [2:24:10] Yet, and... [2:24:13] Yeah, I've thought about it a lot. I don't know what it is, but it happens almost every time and specifically with the music. Yeah.

[2:24:20] Well, I think music is a very powerful thing. I mean, that's when we were playing What Up Gangsta. I mean, come on, man. We were both on a drug. Dude, there's a... Your whole body starts moving. You're like, oh, come on. I was talking to this guy. He's a photographer for F1. He's been doing it for like 30 years. [2:24:35] And he, you know, he's been to, he literally takes off one race a year to go to like this music festival. He just loves music. And like, I asked him if he saw Oasis, because, you know, Oasis is back. [2:24:46] You're a fan of Oasis? Yeah, I love them. And what's so interesting is happening with Oasis specifically is – [2:24:53] Right now, we don't live in the monoculture anymore. [2:24:55] You know, like there's a thousand different silos and everybody thinks that like the thing happening in their world is the most important thing. There's no like universal new rock star. [2:25:03] Justin Bieber might have been the last person that was a musician that everybody knows. There's a K-pop band that none of us can name the guys. Right, and they sell out arenas. Exactly. But back in the day, especially... [2:25:15] when we were growing up, there were bands that were just Metallica performing in Russia. These things were just kind of... There was a monoculture. And then the internet has divided that, and that just is what it is. But what's kind of interesting is I feel like people are... [2:25:30] the people who did experience monoculture, they're going back to these like nostalgic events. It's like why existing IP movies are the only movies that work. Right. It's like, they want to feel those moments when we all were experiencing the same thing at the same time. And like, I'm seeing these like Oasis clips, like all my boy, I was on a show, but all my boys went to go see Oasis. And like, [2:25:49] There's a really interesting thing. The lead singer, I guess, is it Noel or Liam is the lead singer? I'm such like a casual person.

[2:25:57] Doesn't matter. [2:25:58] Like, he's just wearing a tracksuit. Like, he's just wearing, like, fucking, like, and, like... [2:26:02] To me, I'm like, that's the most rockstar shit. [2:26:05] Wearing the big flamboyant thing was Rockstar when everybody was wearing suits. [2:26:10] But now that everybody is big, just showing up in a fucking hoodie to your fucking stadium show, it just lets you know, I'll do whatever. Today is going to be the day when we're going to throw it back to you. And 100,000 people at the same time waving. [2:26:25] Yeah, I don't know. I like... Oh, my God. What a song. That one? For real? We're that good. God damn. [2:26:39] So what do we have to do? Cut that part out? Yeah, let's cut that part. We were just singing an Oasis song. Unfortunately, you can't hear it because of tyranny, tyranny, fascism. But it's I don't know, like I love comics throwing out that word, too. That's a funny one throwing out fascism. Nobody even knows what that fucking word means. That's the most annoying thing. Nobody knows the definition of that. There's a few people online that are like political debaters that know the definition of that word. But what it is, is like, you're bad. [2:27:06] That's it. Yeah, you're bad. You're an asshole. I'm going to call you an asshole politically. These people are bad. Yeah, and I want to sound smart when I'm calling you an asshole. I disagree with the things that you're doing, so I'm going to use this word that neither of us really know the definition of. Because if you call me a fascist. [2:27:20] I can't really say I'm not because I don't know what the fuck that shit is. [2:27:24] Well, that's the problem with things like Antifa. Well, of course you're...

[2:27:29] anti-fascist. Yeah, it's a pretty good thing. Yeah. It's like the Patriot Act. Oh, I'm a patriot. Take my rights. Of course I'm a patriot. Take away my rights. It's like every time a politician pushes a bill that's like the don't hurt women bill. Yes. But all it is is tax incentives for some group. That's why Trump is so ridiculous. The big beautiful bill. It's just like everything is marked. You're going to be too big. It's beautiful. It's big. [2:27:59] That's the political game, man. It's a stupid fucking game. Bro, it is. And it's a stupid game to base your entire personality and identity about. [2:28:06] That is the weird part. And people do. Oh, it's everything. People do. And they're in a life or death struggle every four years. Like, settle down. Because it's a zero-sum game. [2:28:16] Power is a zero-sum game. Yeah. Right? It's just like... [2:28:19] If I think – [2:28:21] that this person is going to completely change my life and completely strip me of everything I have. Anybody that supports that person and that person are completely evil. Right. And then once you think someone's evil, you can do anything to them. Right. Well, the people that have an argument about that are Mexican immigrants, especially the children of Mexican immigrants who maybe their family, maybe they're illegal because they were born here, but their parents aren't. And they realize their parents might get kicked out. That's scary. [2:28:46] It's fucked up. [2:28:47] That's scary. Yeah, I don't like the ice stuff at all. It's not just bad. It's bad for them. And I don't know how they don't realize that this is the worst look ever. It's also... [2:28:57] a bad look for ice.

[2:28:59] Yeah. Like ICE itself is a very important institution. Yeah. Like you want to make sure that you have a government program that can enforce the borders and also like remove people. [2:29:10] that are here illegally especially people that are doing criminal activity like this is an institution that we shouldn't malign this is one that we should be proud of this is a good thing but then when every video coming out it's like seeing these people being like torn their families and all this kind of stuff it's like yeah you're going to have a lot of animosity towards these groups i know we're having this conversation right now there's already people getting a video well this is what you guys wanted this is like no one of the things i actually talked to trump about is like how can we not do this like what can we do how do we have these people living here [2:29:40] taxes like why don't we give them a pathway to citizenship and I specifically was like yo you own hotels you've employed these people right you know they're good people right [2:29:48] Like if you like we're entertainers, like we work in fucking restaurants. You know what I mean? Like we know we work with these people and you see them grinding like, I don't know. Yeah, that's a very frustrating thing. [2:29:58] I think their problem with it is multifaceted. [2:30:02] But I think one of the issues is the way the census works, because the way the census works, you get congressional seats based on the amount of people that live in an area, regardless of whether or not those people are citizens. [2:30:14] Yeah. Isn't that nuts? So if you have import – so like I say, if you import – How do you prove that they're there then if they're illegal? Because you get – the census doesn't check to see your legality. It just counts the number of people that live in a residence. But how do you count it? [2:30:27] Like they have to fill the census out, right? Why would they fill it out if they're here illegally? That's a good question.

[2:30:33] They know. They know based on employment. They know. It's like there's a bunch of different [2:30:39] of data that they get it from. [2:30:42] That's a good question. But the point is it doesn't matter if they're illegal. So if you fill out a sentence and you're illegal, it doesn't matter. It just matters how many people are in this area, and that dictates how many congressional seats you get. So if you can import a bunch of people. Also, if you encourage these people to fill out the census because it's politically beneficial to your party, right, especially if you help those people get in. So if you invited them into this country, actually flew them out to that place, put them up in hotels, that kind of deal, then you can get more congressional seats. [2:31:12] So that's the argument. Like a lot of people chalk it up to they're giving these people voting rights. And it's like, no, that's not what's happening. They're actually increasing the amount of representatives you could have in a certain day. They are. But then we went over this yesterday in Tim Walsh's state. [2:31:28] in Minnesota, they actually [2:31:30] Pass the law where they give them driver's licenses and they could use those driver's licenses to vote. It's not legal. [2:31:37] but someone could break the law and do it with those driver's licenses. The problem is they know that some people have. There definitely have been instances where illegal aliens have voted for whatever election. Right. So the question is, [2:31:52] Did they move them there for congressional seats? Did they move them there for cheap labor? Did they move them there because if they pay for these people and give them ABT cards and then eventually they devise a pathway to citizenship if they get like a Democrat in in four years? We have to take care of our community regardless of whether – if you're a good person, a hardworking person, we want you to join Team America. And that's how I feel. That's how I feel.

[2:32:22] Gave EBT cards Put him up in the Roosevelt Now those people are voting Right, and obviously they're going to vote for the people who have protected them And I wouldn't blame them for that at all Especially now This is why it's politically dangerous for the Republicans Because this support of ICE and seeing that You just lost the whole Latino base Except the hardcore Cubans Don't give a fuck Get the fuck out of here We ain't voting Democrat That was the joke I had The second they put their foot on dry land They're like, we've got to stop this immigration [2:32:52] This is too much guy. This is too much [2:32:56] Communist country yeah fuck out of here with those ideas. They've experienced communism and that's why they embrace materialism Cubans love Cuban links big-ass gold chains to let a motherfucker know I got some cheddar. Yeah, right like cuz in their country like You get what they give you and that's it. I heard a I heard a good quote, you know, you know, uh, I [2:33:17] You know who Carlos Slim is? You've heard of Carlos Slim. He's like a telecommunication magnate. He's the wealthiest guy to Mexico, but they own all over the world. He's like a super billionaire. [2:33:27] Apparently, this is a secondhand, but like a... [2:33:30] He's this guy who I don't know what he looks like, but I'm aware of his name. [2:33:34] He's incredibly powerful, incredibly successful. What a great name. Carl S. Amazing, right? And he sounds like a pool player, right? [2:33:41] It sounds like he's related to Iceberg, the guy who wrote the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wrote a book on Pippin. That book is terrifying. I was like, how do I make sure these guys don't meet my wife? It's fucking horrifying, that book.

[2:33:58] But yeah, he had an interesting thing about like, [2:33:59] I'm always impressed by these guys who have all this power, but they don't want any of the limelight. Like, I don't know what he looks like. [2:34:06] but I know him in the name, and I was involved in everything. And apparently he said something like... [2:34:12] Even billionaires can be new to money. [2:34:16] Implying that like a lot of the guys that we see we hear the guys that are all over the place. Mm-hmm like I [2:34:22] They're new to this, and they, on some level, want it to be known that they got it. Right. And the people who have maybe done it for, you know, legacy generations, they're like... [2:34:32] you actually get yourself in more trouble the more people know. Oh, for sure. [2:34:37] Right. But it's hard to like be broken and get some money and not want to flex it. Well, even if you don't want to flex it, if you just have it, like if you're Jeff Bezos, you're out in the middle of the Caribbean. Yeah. [2:34:47] You know, with Lauren Sanchez chilling on a yacht. There's someone with a drone taking photos of you. You also do your wedding in Venice. Like, you want to flex it. That was flexing. You want to flex. That was her, I bet. Yeah. She was like, I want a big fucking fire. Oh, wait. You don't think Jeff wanted to do his second wedding in Venice? With a bunch of celebrities? Invite every famous person on Earth? The Kardashians show up? You met three times? Yeah. You don't think he wanted that? Yeah. Hilarious. But that's what happens, bro. So the wedding is the wife's party. Right. And you kind of got to go, too. You're like, damn. [2:35:17] Oh, I thought you were talking about Jeff going to his own wedding. Oh, yeah, that too. Do I have to go? This feels like your thing. Are you sure I have to do it? I have to support you in this venture. Yeah. Yeah. Like, if you get invited to that and you're like one of their fucking friends, you're like, oh, great. Yeah. I'm going to fly to Venice and be a part of the zoo. See, that's how you... That's like...

[2:35:37] That's how we would feel about it, but there are certain people who are like – I think they almost define themselves by those invitations. [2:35:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For what? I think I define myself by being able to miss the wedding. [2:35:52] Well, there's also a thing that we actually make stuff ourselves – [2:35:59] rather than have to get hired to go make us stuff. You know, like you'll do a movie occasionally if you want to, but you make your own comedy. You make your own podcast. You make your own stuff. When you're an actor and you don't make your own stuff and you've got to appear in other people's stuff, there's a whole different layer of bullshit that you have to dance with. There's a reliance. Yeah, there's a reliance. And then there's also like a currency of being current, you know. Being hot. [2:36:29] Yep, you've got to be a part of that. And that's when – one of the things you see about comics that lash out at people, it's like Maren's a good example of this, is like once you've got no currency, that's when you start lashing out. Yeah. Because you've got to get attention some way. Yeah. And you're not getting it through your art. So what's the way to get it? You have to figure out some way to be current. So find out what is current and then shit all over it. And get the people who think Elon's a fuckwit. He's a fuckwit. [2:36:59] Yeah, fuck Schultz. Yeah, fuck Rogan. Fuck everybody. But yeah. I mean, that's the... [2:37:06] That's got to be the worst thing is like to be a comic that only gets attention when you talk about comedy.

[2:37:13] Right. Like, you want to get attention from your jokes. Right. [2:37:16] You want people to like you for the funny things you say. You want to have a really interesting point that nobody else thought of. Yeah. Hilarious. Or something fucking stupid and silly that's hilarious. Like, that's what we love. Right. And, like, that's what you actually really want. But, like, when the only reason anybody's talking about you is because you're shitting on your colleagues. Right. Right. [2:37:34] Like, that's what's bothering you in the world. But I think that's what happened with just the whole, like, what's happening right now with the comedy economy. It's like I think people are feeling – [2:37:42] I think young comics are probably feeling a little bit concerned that they don't know the way forward. Right. They also don't know whether or not they're being forced to participate in these pylons or whether they should back off. And then they get pressure and they don't know what to do. I cut young guys and young women a lot more slack than I do the OGs, these people that have been around for a long time. You should know what it's like to be attacked, and you should know that this is not fair. It's not cool. [2:38:12] with whatever, whether it's Riyadh or whether... [2:38:17] Have some kind of compassion for these people as human beings and as colleagues and be charitable. Be charitable. That's what I try to do. I try to be very charitable when I talk about anybody that I'm not in a real serious, like a Marc Maron type thing with. That guy, I'm like, fuck you. You're a problem. But he made his bed. Yeah. Well, he made his bed, and the Theo thing just really drove me crazy.

[2:38:47] He's a fucking human being. I love him to death. You think that Manor wants to be talking about another comedian? [2:38:54] The thing is, you remember when comics, all they talk about is airline seats and travel? It's because that's all they knew, because they were on the road every weekend. On the road constantly. Because that's all they think about. That's all he thinks about, is other people doing better than him. So that's what he wants to attack. Naturally, the bits are going to be about it. Where's your thoughts on Gaza? Oh, I haven't heard him say anything about that one. Kind of weird. Yeah. [2:39:15] There was some crazy estimate. The actual official tallies, like 67,000 people dead. I think it's going to be more than that. [2:39:24] Stephen Dossinger had a thing on his page where there's some human rights group that estimates it to be as high as 400,000. Yeah, because I don't think they count missing as dead yet. No. I mean, there's no way they know. You look at all that rubble and, bro, okay, so there's that. But then there's also what Hamas is doing right now in Gaza, which is crazy. These executions and tortures of people that they think collaborated with Israel. Yeah. Woo! Horrific. Horrific. [2:39:54] uh... [2:39:55] Text thread that we go back and forth with literally the worst shit we find every day. It's like a trauma thread. [2:40:03] Tom. I sent him one. Tom just needs to feel something, huh? Tom just needs to feel. He just needs to feel. That's why I sent him these things. You got to show him the worst shit ever. He's like, all right, I am human. Yeah, I sent him one. He was like, that one was rough. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were breaking this guy's bones with boulders.

[2:40:25] enormous rock and threw it on his shin and snapped his shin in half. And this guy's screaming. And then they take his arm and they stretch his arm out. This guy hits it with his giant bat and crushes his arm. No, it's horrific. It is so crazy what they're doing. And they're doing it on, you know, Samsung 4K video on a cell phone. And kids can see it. Anybody can see it. My kids saw the Charlie Kirk assassination. That's, bro. You know, it's like I didn't want to see it. And then someone sent it to me. I think Tom sent it to me, actually. [2:40:55] All right. Let me see. And I watched. I was like, oh, God. But that's yeah, that's the that's the tricky thing right now is because I think that like as far as we've been comedians, there's been like a clear path of how to make it. [2:41:07] It didn't mean that it was accessible to everybody, but like when you're growing up, I'm sure it's like get an HBO special. [2:41:13] When I'm coming up, it was HBO. And then it transitioned to come on the Joe Rogan podcast. [2:41:19] And that was the thing. And did it mean every single comedian that came on here became a millionaire? No. [2:41:25] A lot fucking did. You got to look. And you got an audience that was interested and curious and invested in shit. If you were legit, if you were Shane Gillis, if you were you, if you were Ari Shafir, whatever it was, you popped off. Hundreds of people, right? And we saw it instantaneously. It was like you come on and then your podcast would go number one afterwards. You remember this, right? And it was like, okay. So then comics were like, okay, wow, there's a pathway forward. And then the clip economy and the YouTube specials and these things started happening. And then people were like, okay, I do that. [2:41:55] popping. Then Kill Tony erupts and it's like, oh shit, if I can get a spot on Kill Tony, then I can make it. And I think that like

[2:42:03] Now people are going, okay – [2:42:06] I might not be the right fit for Kill Tony because the character-based things really explode more than, like, say, a traditional comic. It's like, okay, I don't do that. It's like I don't know how I can even get on Joe, and if I do get on Joe, can I be on enough for the audience? We'll see. I put a YouTube special out, but, like, it seems like there's hundreds of YouTube specials out, so it's like I don't know if that's going to be the thing that breaks me. So I think that the younger comics are kind of experiencing this thing where they're like, I don't know the pathway forward. And someone's going to invent some shit. [2:42:36] new and then it catches on and fucking that dominates what it is. But like, I think they're in this, this period where they're like, I don't know what to do. And when you don't know what to do and you're not where you want to be. [2:42:47] That's where I think the bitterness starts to come out. Well, you also don't know what the path forward is and if it's ever going to arrive for you or if you're just going to be like on the outside forever. So you're toiling in obscurity and then you're just – and then you start to feel resentful. Then you start to feel angry. Before, you might feel resentful and angry, but you're like, you know what? There might be a chance Joe could see me. He'll bring me on his podcast and then I could have all this fucking success. And it's like – [2:43:09] So I do empathize with that like anger. [2:43:13] But the knee-jerk reaction to just shit on everything and try to shit on the scene and, like, shit on Austin or, like, shit on these things, I don't think they realize – [2:43:22] that that's not going to get them any closer. It will get them, like, immediate attention. A bunch of their comedian friends around them are going to click and like and do these things. But it's not going to be that long-term sustained career. You don't build a fan base by going, I don't like that place. You also alienate the newest scene in the world. You alienate people who actually help you. This is the thing. You're also making a fake version of what the scene is, too. I mean, that's the Internet, right? That's the crazy thing. It's like you have to have an N-word joke.

[2:43:52] a trans joke and this is just the same thing it's be you know the problem is it's a walled garden austin is a walled garden like if you're on the outside you see all these people having so much fun in the garden you're like you i can't even i'm not even in there it's not those people it's not it's not but it's an appearance of a walled garden exactly and then i think that there's like people on another level up we were saying earlier that are like seeing these like people talk shit about it and they're getting concerned that it could like negatively impact them in a way so [2:44:22] pussy shit they're like trying to create a little distance not too much where they can't call you and say hey i got a pocket yeah like not too much where it's like oh i'd like to come on your pop but i'll have a guy who's gonna shit on you for the whole fucking episode and not give you push back it's like and it's not just him like i've seen other people do it it's just like dude dude you're gonna go through some cancel shit later all these guys they're gonna go through something later and they had a guy that they could call that would bring them on the biggest platform platform in the world and let them explain themselves have their back like you will do it [2:44:52] I would still do that with Santino. Of course you would. That's your boy. That's your boy. I love him. He's a fucking amazing hang. That was a bad move. That was a bad move, in my opinion. He felt like, look, Mark is irrelevant. He's yelling these things out. Like, let him rant. Everyone's going to know what he's doing. [2:45:07] But I don't think everybody on the outside does because they don't know comedy. They don't know the business. And it looks like you're cosigning it all. And it looks like that you're okay with this. And I'm fine with you having them on. Like I would have Marin on, but we're going to go at it. [2:45:19] Like Akash calls him out. Akash calls him out every single episode. He's just like, come on, you pussy. Let's talk. You ain't shit. Yeah. So it's like, it's like, but it's like, yeah, but also defend your boy. And that's also important because.

[2:45:31] At a baseline... [2:45:34] People don't want to see... [2:45:36] people abandon their friends and like a baseline human thing. Right. Even if you got your friends back when he's going through some shit, even if you disagree with that person did like baseline human, you go, I kind of would want that guy as a friend. [2:45:48] There was a video of Trump on Letterman when I think it's Letterman. I'm pretty sure it's Letterman Trump when Mike Tyson got convicted. And it was like the most unpopular opinion in the world because I think his attorneys were terrible. They had the worst defense I've ever heard in my life. This girl came up to his room at 1 a.m. [2:46:10] They said she was dancing a few hours later. She was hanging out with people, having a good time. She came over, took off her panty shield in his bathroom. And she'd also accused someone of rape. [2:46:22] that wasn't, was unjustly accused of rape before that. She had done the same thing before. Mm-hmm. [2:46:29] I don't know what the fuck happened there. But that was his boy, and he defended his boy. He said, look, we don't know. We don't know what happened. [2:46:36] And he said it on Letterman. I respect that shit. And he was like, whoa. But a lot of people in the comments did too. Like, wow. And Tyson got his back. You know that. Yes. Like, we've talked to Tyson decades later. Always has. Yeah, it's a different... [2:46:48] I don't to me I'm like I thought this is normal like I thought this is [2:46:52] Because you're a man. I don't know. That's the thing. There's a lot of these people that are like a salamander that's never gone through its final developmental changes. And they're stuck in like an adolescent stage of evolution forever. Yeah. There's men that are like that. But that – You know. I don't know. And maybe it's because I know guys like you and like Charlamagne who like I see them going through shit. And I see people like will try to like get me to talk to – it's like it ain't going to happen. Yeah. Like I know these people as human beings. You know a 30-second TikTok of them.

[2:47:22] So if you want to have that conversation, we're going to have it. But like you're not going to like the way it goes because these people are my friends, like real friends. Right. Not like colleagues. There are people who we're colleagues with. Right. Right. [2:47:33] But like my real friends, you guys are at my wedding. Right. And you've been to my wedding. Like my wedding wasn't like a comedy hangout. Right. It was... [2:47:40] People who I am close to. You know what I mean? By the way, it's one of the only weddings I've ever been. And I respected that. Took a COVID test. Took a COVID test. I just was like, you were so upset about it too. You were like, here, bitch. [2:47:53] You're like, I'm free of it, bitch. I was already over. I don't even know if I had been beginning of being canceled for about the COVID stuff. I was like, it was just starting. [2:48:04] Can I pee real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's pee. We're back. We're back. When Tony got into it, the first one with the Asian thing, when he got into that, people didn't know the – he was totally – not always he's set up. People don't know the full context of it. This guy did this whole set of like – it was like real bad comedy, and it was why do you hate Asians? Everybody hates Asians. And so Tony gets up and makes fun of him for being Chinese afterwards. They take that. They run with it. [2:48:34] Tony fortunately had a video of that guy's set and released it along with his full set. Well, you see, this is just what he does. He's just fucking around, and then he kills. He kills for the entire set, and he released that, and then the cancellation basically died off. [2:48:50] When he was going through it, man, I was really worried about him, like genuinely worried about him. He thought his life was over. He had never experienced anything like that before.

[2:48:59] And then I took him with me to Salt Lake City. And it was only... [2:49:03] God, I guess... [2:49:06] A week and a half. He took off one weekend. We did a show in Houston. And he's like, I don't think I can go on stage. Just take this weekend off. I'm going to pay you anyway. I'll go, I'll pay you. Just relax. And then we'll do Salt Lake City. Right? I know you're going through it. So then he went on stage one night at the Vulcan. He's like, dude, I think I can do it. I'm back. I'm back. And so then... [2:49:27] People didn't know that he was going to be with me in Salt Lake City. So we're in the back of the room, and I announce the opening act. And I said, ladies and gentlemen, one of my best friends, Tony Hinchcliffe. And they went, yeah, they stood up, arms raised, like, fuck yeah. It was part of it was because I was supporting him. He was going through it. It was public. It was in the middle of everything. And he went up and... [2:49:53] destroyed the love that he got from those people and then he went and just ran with it and he had material on it he was already talking about it and it was beautiful but it was beautiful to watch him realize like I'm [2:50:09] Oh, I'm going to be okay. The internet is not reality. Right. And he had that moment in real time. But he also had you having his back. Like, that's the – and I think people see that also. Like, I think there's people in the crowd that see that. And I think on a primal level, they go, man, if I got caught up in some fuck shit, I would really like it if my friend had my back. Yeah. If people were saying things about me that my friends know were false –

[2:50:32] and they use their platforms to talk or put me on or whatever it is, [2:50:36] I think deep down viscerally they go, oh, that's a good guy. [2:50:39] You got to try to help people. I tried to get Steve Renizzisi on when that 9-11 stuff happened, and he decided to go on Stern instead. Yeah. And I was like, okay, but... [2:50:53] I'm telling you, if I have you on, I can navigate it. [2:50:58] a little more compassionately. But I don't think at the time he understood where podcasts were versus where Stern was at the time. Stern was still stern in his eyes, but it wasn't stern in terms of the reach. And even if it was, he's not going to handle you the same way I'm going to handle you. I'm going to give you all the room in the world to express yourself, and I'm going to be as charitable as possible, and I'm going to put myself in a position where I can imagine if [2:51:28] I got stuck with it. Like, Oh no. No. [2:51:31] You know? [2:51:32] And what is the way forward with that? Well, I guess the way forward, he eventually had to address it and talk about it on stage. [2:51:41] You... [2:51:42] You can help people. [2:51:44] It really does work. If you have a platform and someone's going through something, you really can save their world. You can. You can. Especially if you show that you have support and you love them and you talk about it and talk about what a great person they are. Tony's one of my favorite people ever. Tony's great, man.

[2:52:03] This massive thing. And naturally, we want to pick at the people that are incredibly successful. This is like human nature. Fucking Taylor Swift gets it. [2:52:11] You know what I mean? Well, here's the thing. Kill Tony wasn't that big back then. That's the problem. No, no, no. Back then. I'm saying even now. Yeah. But now, well, the thing is the second cancellation, like after he did the Puerto Rico thing, he was already ready. He was like, I've been through this fucking storm before. I'm just going to tie down these sails and ride this motherfucker out. But if he hadn't been through that, that would have been even more devastating because then you're getting canceled by CNN and New York Times. [2:52:41] You know, they had stories pre-written, ready to go, blaming the loss of Trump on Tony Hinchcliffe. And then the Latino vote went up by 15 percent. He said – Tony said the first night he slept was the night that I endorsed Trump. [2:52:58] For real. And he literally said, dude, that was the first night. He goes, I think it's going to be okay now. Wow. Which is crazy because that's part of the reasons why I did it. We're going to get Tony out of here. [2:53:11] We've got to protect Tony. Little did you know, you didn't even need to. The Puerto Ricans were like, we got this. Puerto Ricans take a joke better than anybody on the planet. That is a great shit-talking community. They talk shit to each other. It's part of the thing. Especially in New York. They're not going to be sensitive about anything. Now, what I would have told Tony and what I said to him is, I wish you had told me what the set is. Because New Yorkers have this idea of Puerto Rico as this beautiful Caribbean island. It's like our first vacation in New York when we go to a fancy place. It's Puerto Rico.

[2:53:41] connecting it to the island of garbage, which I knew where he's going. There was like an island of garbage floating in the Atlantic? No, it's the Pacific. Pacific Garbage Patch. So it was actually – he was bringing it to something that was a popular story like a year or two ago. But New Yorkers don't know what the fuck is floating. Do you know what I mean? Like we're just like, yo, Puerto Rico's floating. So I think that they were just like, oh, that was weird. We don't see Puerto Rico in that way. [2:54:11] garden when he was opening for me. Oh, really? Fucking murdered. Okay, fair enough. Murdered. Because it's just a joke. The thing is, it's just a joke. But it's also, Puerto Rico, if you don't know, has a massive garbage problem. Oh, I didn't know. Because they have a landfill issue because they don't have much land. It's like all these fucking tourists coming over there with their fucking water bottles. I mean... [2:54:31] And they got a huge hole in the ground that's overflowing with trash. At the end of the day, it's a fucking joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. But it's not a joke he should have done there. That's the thing. If he was running that joke by me, I'd be like, no. That's not the one. That's what I'm saying. That's not the one. Or there's a different place that you could use that might go. I told him not to do it, period. Yeah. I was like, there's no upside to this. Yeah. This is a, it's not going to be a comedy crowd. Yeah. And meanwhile, he goes on after some guy who's got this crazy, we're going to take back Americanos. That's the thing. [2:55:01] comedy in that environment is like the trickiest thing. And like, I do think like in general, like us just having politicians on and like even going to the rally. It's like, I think what's happened is that we've politicized ourselves and like, we've brought ourselves into the game of politics, which is the ugliest game. Yeah. Like it is the ugliest game because it's that zero sum shit. We were saying earlier, it's just like, this is people really believe it's a life or death. Dude, I was pushing my, my daughter in a stroller. Right. And a lady goes,

[2:55:31] Hey, [2:55:32] This is in New York. She goes, hey, didn't you have Trump on your podcast? And I was like, I already know what's going on. I'm like, yeah, yeah, he was on the podcast. And she's like – [2:55:40] Well, I hope your daughter has a good life. [2:55:43] I'm like, bitch, you live in Tribeca. [2:55:45] You know what I mean? Like, what do you think is happening over here? Your husband works for fucking Goldman. You know what I mean? Like, who do you think he's voting for? But like that type of... [2:55:55] vitriolic hate to a stranger on the street. What did you say to her? I said, uh, I don't [2:56:01] I go, oh, do you have a daughter? Because she just looked lonely. [2:56:05] And I really wanted her to be like, no. And then I was just going to lower the fucking boom. And then she was like, yeah, I have two. And I was like, okay, well, I hope they have good lives. [2:56:21] She out-crowd worked me. [2:56:24] I was in shock I'm with a child why are you talking to me in the street I saw a video of a lady getting out of a cyber truck in New Jersey and some woman yelled at her you fucking racist, you racist she's like what? somebody just gave me a ride [2:56:40] It was an Uber? No. She got a ride from somebody who had a Cybertruck. She got out of the car and some lady started calling her a racist out of nowhere. There's insane people. [2:56:52] Oh, yeah. And they've always been here. And they've always been here. And they're even more... [2:56:57] rooted in their insanity because it's rewarded every time they go on their phone yes like their crazy opinions are just like yeah you're right about that opinion here's evidence yeah 30 seconds at a time and they're dumb so they don't realize what it's doing to them so they're on that fucking shit all day long getting aggravated and they're desperate for community uh-huh their whole identity is this community god forbid they have a dissenting opinion all of a sudden that community is going to ostracize them yeah it's literally what happened to like ezra like ezra's actually trying to have real conversations like he believes in what democrats can do and think that they're the

[2:57:27] And he's like, how can we make this happen? And then there are people that would be like his biggest supporters. The second he moves a little bit away, it's I can't believe he's turned into a right wing grifter. They're calling Ezra Klein. [2:57:42] A right-wing grifter. Yeah. Or Elon Musk, a fuckwit. Yeah, it's the same thing. You're never going to make everybody happy. And as your profile increases, the number of ignorant people that are paying attention and commenting on you increases. Yes. It is. That's a great point. Yeah, it's like the percentage doesn't change, but the amount changes. Drastically. Because you have so many more people watching. Well, especially if there's an event. [2:58:12] That's the event, and then ignorant people just start yapping out their opinion. And I want them to have opinions. I think it's a beautiful thing. I'll never tell anybody not to say anything, but like – [2:58:22] The funniest thing about the Trump party is that like... [2:58:24] Initially, it was... [2:58:26] Kamala's campaign and the Democrats. [2:58:28] like loving the interview. [2:58:30] Because Trump said that thing. It was a really fascinating thing that happened because both sides were going, oh, this is awesome. And I was like, holy shit. What did he say? He goes – he says one of the funniest things ever. He goes – he goes – [2:58:42] I'm basically an honest person. [2:58:47] And then he says it to me and I just laugh because I'm like, that's it. I laugh for a few reasons. Like one, I laugh because it's a hilarious thing to say. It's very funny. But two, it's like actually the most honest thing to say.

[2:58:59] Like if I'm deconstructing it, it's like... [2:59:01] Anybody who goes, I've never told a lie, you're like, you're a fucking liar. You just told one. But saying you're basically honest is like, yeah, I pretty much mostly tell the truth. Yeah. You know, sometimes I say Melania looks skinnier than she does. You know, whatever the fuck. Whatever it is. You know what I mean? But, like, it's – I don't know. It was just the funniest thing. Or the Epstein files is a hoax. Bro, the fucking Epstein thing is just – Nothing but a hoax! It's just – [2:59:26] It's just I don't even understand. [2:59:28] I don't get it. [2:59:29] I don't get it. It is the easiest political victory. [2:59:33] Like, if you just do it. It is, but it isn't. Here's the thing. Yeah. I'm not supporting anything. Just to be really clear, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. [2:59:42] If you are [2:59:43] If you have relationships with all these insanely wealthy people that are going to be severely impacted by this. [2:59:53] Like this is the ultimate political football. [2:59:56] because I don't know what the numbers are. I don't know who the people are, but I've heard things. And if those things are true, you're dealing with some of the most powerful people in the world, some of the wealthiest people in the world. [3:00:08] They got to go down. Yeah. Well, it depends on what they did, right? It's like, did you go over there and have sex with a 24-year-old and do coke? Or did you go? Totally fine. Right. Or did you go over there? Would you want that out? I would want that out. Yeah, but you wouldn't want that out because how do you – you're connected to pedophilia no matter what. Oh, right. Because you're like – Epstein's Island. She was 24 and then someone's going to go, well, did you idea? And you're like, well, no, I didn't idea. Did you see underage girls? Were you there? Are you complicit? So you don't want to even be around it. Right.

[3:00:38] Well, you can't be around it. I mean, the guy 100% had sexual relationships with underage girls, at least in Florida. Convicted. And convicted. Yeah. And you knew that when you were meeting him. That's the Bill Gates thing that's the craziest. Not only Bill Gates, the Stephanopoulos guy. Like a bunch of them went over there. [3:00:58] A lot of people went over there. A lot of scientists went over there. And I think those guys thought they were going over there for this beautiful place where you can go. This guy's donating money to science. You're hanging out with movie stars, this intellectual discourse. So tell me about string theory. Well, it's really fascinating. One of the things we've learned, and you're having cocktails like, this place is great. And then you can get your dick sucked. It's like a ditty party for nerds. Ah, exactly. Exactly. And a lot of people went to those parties. Yeah. I don't want to say a San Ahmad's joke. What is that? I don't want to say a joke. [3:01:28] I don't want to ruin his joke. Shout out to Asan, man. Asan's great. He's got a great joke that compares it to Diddy. He's filming a special soon, too. Yes, he is. I'm very excited for him, man. Yes, he is. This weekend. Oh, really? So this upcoming weekend at the mothership. No, it's at the Black Rabbit. Black Rabbit. So make sure you guys go check that out. He is great. That guy works hard. I've known him since he was a doorman at the comedy store. [3:01:51] Him and Derek do the solid show together. Yep. So I got to know Ahsan. No, Ahsan's great, man. They have a great pod, man. Super smart dude, too. But yeah, that's... Very interesting guy. Great green room hang. That's... Yep. That's the other thing. It's like... [3:02:04] Thank you. [3:02:05] Just being able to hang... [3:02:07] Just being able to fucking hang is like people think about like, oh, what are all these competitive advantages? How do you do that? The other. It's just like, can you fucking hang out? Can you sit down on a couch and can we bust balls? Are we fun? It's that easy. Yeah. Are you fun? Are you easy? Are you a happy person? Yeah. Are you good to get along with? Yeah. That makes it so easy. Yeah. It's like simple things that you learn in high school.

[3:02:31] Yeah. Have you ever experienced where like there's a guy who's a fun hang and you haven't seen him on stage yet and you're like, I hope he's funny. Yes. [3:02:37] Because I like hanging with you. Oh, there's some bad examples of that at the comedy store. I saw someone set. I was like, oh, no. [3:02:44] I can't be friends with you. Like, this is too. Fitzsimmons and I were laughing about that once. We saw this person go on stage, and then afterwards we went into the back parking lot, and Greg's like, well, I can't be friends with them anymore. Greg cracks me the fuck up, dude. Is Greg from Boston? He's a Boston guy, right? Yes. We started out together, like, within a week of each other. I've been friends with that dude for, like, 35 fucking years, maybe more. Yeah, Greg is. Greg's still in L.A., right? Yes, unfortunately. [3:03:14] I did some like... It was like a halfway house show or something like that. I don't know. I was just at the store and they just asked me, do you want to pop on this one? And it was like... [3:03:25] I was like, Greg, Joey, and I was like, yeah, sure, I'll go do it. And I did it, and I was doing these like – [3:03:31] I did some Down syndrome, but it was kind of like long, to be honest with you. Oh, that was the Down syndrome group? I had no clue because they told me half house. So I was like, oh, it's guys who are like drug addicts, alcoholics. And I did like a long bit about it. And it didn't go great. Like everything was kind of good up until that moment. And then it kind of went south. And I was like, oh, that was weird. And I get on stage and Joe, he's like waiting there. Or Greg, I forget which one of the weather. They're like, what the hell are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. Like I thought it was going well. And then it just kind of tanked. He's like, yeah, because it's all of them.

[3:04:01] They're out there. This is like a charity show or a benefit for it. So you got to let me know that. Yeah, you should let people know that. I had a very similar thing happen. [3:04:11] I had a bit about how, like, there's certain words that are offensive, but wouldn't it be better if instead of, like, banning these words, if, like, the government issued, like, retard tags? Like, hunting tags? Like, you get five a year? You just got to know when to use them? You know? And... [3:04:30] These people were just... This is fascism. Government quotas? It wasn't even a quota. We can't be fascists. But I would be like, you do not want to go outside on December 31st with all the retard tags are going down. Because everybody's got three extra retard tags they've got to use. We've got to use them. Yeah. Can't let these things go to waste. They don't roll over. But I did it there, and people were like, ugh. I was like, what? Yeah. What's wrong? And then afterwards they told me, I was like, how about a heads up? Wait, you did it also? Yes. How many of these benefits are they doing at the comedy store? [3:05:00] It takes a lot of money to... Fair enough. You know. Yeah. It's an education thing. But... [3:05:05] I fucked up too. Same thing. Then I was like, oh, why didn't you tell me? I felt something in the... I felt it. I felt it. It was like it just went... And the look was like, does he not know? [3:05:17] I think they thought that I didn't – I don't think they thought I was being edgy. They thought you didn't know. They were like, oh, he doesn't know. Right, right, right. So they have a sour, like, oh, no, he doesn't know. It's like if somebody was talking to someone in the crowd before and everybody knows about that person. Right. And then you're doing something completely unrelated and they're like, oh, yeah –

[3:05:34] He doesn't know that she just lost her husband. Yeah. I'm just doing my five-minute widow bit. Yeah. [3:05:43] Yeah, but that's the fun stuff. Yeah. [3:05:45] That's what Charlemagne loves. He's just so... He's like... At his core, he's like a real comedian at his core. To the point where he'll love bomb. He likes watching people bomb. He really likes that. I think it's like a full emotion to him. And so at the end of the show in rehab, we brought Alex Media, who was on the show, and he had to do one joke in front of everybody. And like... [3:06:06] The joke is pretty good. Alex is a black dude, and he's like, it's cool to be here. I'll be honest. I see these outfits, and it's the only time I'm surrounded by guys in white sheets that I don't feel like they're going to kill me. Something like that. Like some little cutesy joke. And then Charlamagne goes, nah, bro. They're treating you like the autistic kid that gets going in the fourth quarter. [3:06:29] The ball boy for that joke wasn't it, bro. He's like, uh-uh-uh. [3:06:36] end of the season. [3:06:38] That's funny. [3:06:39] That's funny. Yeah, he's a funny dude. There's a lot of funny people that don't get into comedy. It's interesting. I've known quite a few that are like, man, you're really a comedian. You never really got after it. [3:06:50] You know, there's a bunch of people like that. I used to work for a guy who was a private investigator, was the funniest fucking dude I had ever been around in my life. And I was trying to be a comedian at the time. I was an open miker. I was 21. Yeah. And his name was Dick Dolan. Dave Dolan, rather. He called himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. That was his name. He's like, whenever he... I have a mess... I have a phone that I kept. It's an iPhone-like phone.

[3:07:15] 10 or some shit like that. And I kept that phone just because I have a voicemail on there from him before he died. He's like, Joe Rogan, it's Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. How you doing, buddy? And like, he was just a funny fucking dude. He was hilarious. And I would, we would catch mostly people that were doing insurance fraud. [3:07:34] Oh, as a PI. He was a private investigator, and I worked for him. And the way I worked for him – As a PI? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking for a job and different things to do to make money while I was doing stand-up. And he had this ad for – it was private investigator's assistant. I was like, ooh, that sounds exciting. Really what it was is he had lost his license drunk driving, and he needed someone to drive his car around because he still had to work. [3:08:04] I met him, and his cousin was Bill Downs, who owned the Comedy Connection. So he was – in Rhode Island? No, it was in Boston at the time. Oh. And then it eventually went to Fania Hall, and then now it's the Wilbur Theater. Oh, wow. Bill Blumenwright eventually bought it from them, but Bill Downs and Paul Barkley were the original owners of the Comedy Connection. And so I was like, how are you not a comedian? [3:08:34] You're the funniest fucking guy I know. What did he say? He was, he's not interested. He's not interested. [3:08:39] He was just funny, but he would like – we would like catch people doing stuff. Most of it was like insurance fraud, but we'd have to like wait for them in front of their house at like 4 o'clock in the morning for them to get up and have like a fake job where they were like pretending to be disabled. I've hurt my back at work, but really they were roofing somewhere and we would catch them. Right, right. And so we would be just in the car, just me and him. Talking shit. And we would just talk shit, and he was – I would be crying. And I remember I was dating this girl, and I went over her place afterwards.

[3:09:09] much funnier than me. Yeah. And he has no desire to be a comedian. Yeah. [3:09:13] It's like it's weird. Yeah, he's a natural calm. Yes, just funny all the time You know had this I don't give a fuck. I'm never getting married. You know, he like he was cheating on his girlfriend He didn't care he let them though [3:09:31] He acted like a drunk even when he was sober. Yeah, yeah, even when he was sober He is like he kept that whole we're on a bender mentality. Yeah, he just was sober. Yeah, and I [3:09:41] Rode that bitch right into the rocks. Rode that fucking boat right into the shore. God bless him. And then died. God bless him. Yeah, he was a fun dude, man. Like one of the most fun people I've ever been friends with in my life. Some of the most naturally funny people I think aren't comedians. [3:09:57] Yes, a lot. In the hang. And it's a different – when you've got to do it on stage, there's different expectations and it changes things. But just in the hang, yeah, they're almost like unaware they're funny. Right. They're not even trying to make you laugh. Right. It's just kind of – it's like effortless to them. And some of them that do try to do comedy like that never figure out how to translate it, which is really weird. I think it's a – [3:10:20] it's almost too easy for them in conversation. [3:10:23] So they don't do the work... [3:10:25] to transition it to stage. Or they have this idea of what they're supposed to be on stage, and it's very different than who they are when they're friends. That's the first thing I tell young comics that ask for advice. I just go, how are you funniest around the people you're most comfortable with? [3:10:39] Like, are you telling stories? Are you self-deprecating? Are you kind of roasting? Like...

[3:10:43] The people you're most comfortable with. How are you funny? [3:10:46] And [3:10:48] That, I think, is the easiest way to access your voice or whatever we call it. [3:10:53] and then just add 10 years of trying to figure that out. - Yeah. - But like, you're right, some people like try to put on a cadence of what they think a stand up will talk about. And it's normal in the beginning, like, you're just trying to figure this shit out. - You sound like Attell. - Exactly. Like in New York, everybody sound like Attell. Like when I was coming up, Attell was, even the way that they would do act out sounds, it was all versions of Attell. And like, naturally you're gonna gravitate to the best guy. - Right. - And what he's doing. And I'm sure like in LA, everybody was trying to be Dane or something like that. - There's a bunch of guys that are trying to be Chappelle. - Chappelle, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And it's like, [3:11:22] Yeah, that makes sense. Patrice would say that you're his babies. [3:11:26] I got a bunch of babies out there. I was a baby of Patrice, for sure. I remember seeing him and just going like, oh my God, this is the highest form. Joey Diaz was the best example of a guy who one day figured it out. Joey Diaz was the funniest guy in the parking lot. The funniest. The funniest guy in the hang. If you were in the back bar, he was the funniest. He was holding court. Everybody was dying. We're falling on the ground laughing. When he would get on stage, he would try to be a comedian.

[3:11:56] I got a little joke for you. And then one day, [3:12:00] He gave up. He gave up on being cast in movies. He gave up on the dream of having a sitcom. And he got real fat. Like, when I first met Joey, he was built like a linebacker. He was a tank. And he was fresh out of jail. You know, it was a different Joey. Jail beef. It was Scary Joey. Yeah. And Scary Joey gave in to Fat Joey. And then Mitzi Shorstar called him Fat Baby. And that's all she would put him on as the lineup. It wouldn't be Joey Diaz. It would be Fat Baby. She wanted to call him Fat Baby. [3:12:30] lean into this. She had this idea of changing his name to Fat Baby. You know, she named people, right? She named Carlos Mencia. [3:12:38] What do you mean? She came up with that name. That's not his real name? No, it's not his real name. His name is Ned. It's like Ned Wholeness or something like that. She came up with the idea of him having that name. Yeah. That was part of the whole video of me exposing him. Yeah. I was like, you're not even Mexican. [3:12:53] And the Mexicans in the crowd were like, what? Yeah. I mean, he's close. [3:12:58] Honduran. Yeah. Yeah. Half German, half Honduran, but whatever it is. It's a bus stop. The thing is Mitzi named him. Yeah. And so Mitzi would name people. Yeah. And she wanted to name Joey Fat Baby. And so the old lineups, I got some old lineups from the comedy store and one of them, it says Fat Baby. I love it. I love it. But when he got fat, dude, he, when he started not giving a fuck and he would go on stage all this, I mean,

[3:13:28] pretty good set to destroy liberating destroy he was free yeah he got free and he became the guy on stage that he was in the back it was also around the time where marijuana medical marijuana started like really popping off in la so joey was on like 500 milligram shiba juice all day [3:13:58] Full on maniac and the absolute best guy to take on the road with you. There was no one better. You take him on the road with you. You guarantee you were having a party everywhere you go. It's a party at dinner. It's a party hanging out at the hotel afterwards. It's a party. Joey Diaz is there. We're having fun. [3:14:16] And, you know, and he just figured out how to be that guy on stage. And then he became Joey Diaz. But it was like everybody watched it happen. Like, whoa, I never seen anybody just figure it out like that. Where, like, you went from being a four or a five to a ten. Immediately. To a ten where people are lining up in the back of the room going, what the fuck, man? Holy shit. Did something happen, like, did something happen culturally where what he was doing was refreshing too? Yeah. [3:14:45] Or do you really think he just changed? He figured it out. He just didn't. He stopped. I stopped giving a fuck. I stopped giving a fuck of those fucking people. I was worried about those people. You're going to give me a job. I want a job. I was a fucking convict. I had to be careful. And then all of a sudden, he's like, these people ain't giving me shit. Fuck these people. And it was right around the time, ironically, that he did The Longest Yard.

[3:15:08] So he started getting movies, started getting all kinds of things. That's what always happens. Because he didn't give a fuck anymore. And all of a sudden he was just so funny that it was undeniable. And then when you're undeniable, all those opportunities pop up. That's the other thing. It's like I think – sometimes I hear comics talk about like the importance of networking. [3:15:25] And I'm like, it's so easy to network when you're funny. Yeah. Like, once you're funny, people want to talk to you. Like, once they admire what you're doing on that stage, they want to hang out. The people that are not funny, now you've got to fucking hang out every single second and network. But the worst is the networking people that aren't funny that are always trying to get work. And you're like, hey, if I wanted to give you work, I would ask. Yeah. Like, you're doing the wrong kind of work. You're doing the network work and not doing the why am I not funny enough work. Yeah. [3:15:55] Why do I not have an audience? Why do people not want to go see me again? What is that? [3:16:01] Yeah. I mean, yeah. Then we'll see you again if you give them a good show. If you give them a good show. But if you don't, there's a lot of comedy out there, kids. There is a lot of comedy out there. A lot of comedy out there. Yeah. I don't know. That's why I like – [3:16:14] I'm like kind of strict on you just got to give them something new every time you go in. Like I feel strongly about it. [3:16:20] Because it's like, if they see the same thing twice... [3:16:24] I'm talking about when I'm going out on a new yeah to a new market yeah a market that you've been to yeah it's very important it's expensive yeah like shit it's it's not cheap to go out to a show right like so if they're getting a babysitter they're doing the whole thing and then they see the thing they saw before it's like maybe they have a good time but there's a little part of them they feel maybe take advantage of in some way well some of them don't want to see bits again like that's like the Hot Pockets thing with Gaffigan but I feel like they want to see that

[3:16:49] And a bunch of other stuff. Yes. Like, if you give them 45 of just new heat that they haven't heard before, and then at the end... You tell the machine story. They love it. Yeah. And then you get to live in the nostalgia of it. You get to take your friend that you told this story to, or this joke, it's so funny, I hope he does it. And then you get to watch them experience it. Yeah. It's like sharing a clip with them on Instagram and just watching them laugh. Right. So you get to experience that. But, like... [3:17:10] The whole hour? Nah. You've got to have something new. Right, right, right. We've got to get, at least for me, I'm like, that is, that's why I take time off. I'm like, I need. Well, that's the difference between comedy and music, right? That's why music is fucking. Which is so wild. Music, I don't want your new shit. Right. [3:17:25] Stop with the new songs, Rolling Stones. Imagine Oasis is doing a whole new album. [3:17:31] You know what I mean? You could go, here's a new one, but I need to hear the hits. Right. [3:17:37] And that, yeah, music just has so much more, like, such a great shelf life. [3:17:42] It's just, if a song is hot... They have cover bands. And we want to watch them? Yeah. [3:17:48] Yeah, I remember any time in L.A. there was a cover band for... [3:17:53] What the fuck was it? [3:17:55] It was some 80s cover band. I don't know. They were just playing like all these like fun little 80s hits. And it was a thing that would like sell out. Like people would go to one of these venues and they go and they enjoy and they dress up in stupid 80s shit. It became almost like – what is that music? What is that movie that people would go see in the East Village? [3:18:15] Rocky Horror Picture Show. Remember that? You're almost like part of the performance in a way. Like you're leaning into this costumization of what's happening. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[3:18:25] Yeah, I mean, I don't know. [3:18:27] It's a different art form, obviously. But that's the beautiful thing. It's like something could go down today, you know, and then you can go on stage with it tonight. And everybody's like, oh, shit. That's actually – I almost like – [3:18:41] don't like it [3:18:42] When there's nothing to talk about initially. Right. Like I would rather like the thing. A new thing. We talk about it for at least a minute and then we're on the same page. Because the first minute of comedy, like it is an odd thing. [3:18:53] I'm on a stage... [3:18:55] You're all sitting. Yeah. I'm going to talk as if we're having a conversation. [3:19:00] But you're not really allowed to talk. [3:19:02] Right. A minute in, we forget that. Right. You know, it's like you're watching Top Gun or something and you're like, I'm real. This is real and I'm in the movie. But that first minute. But what's great is when there is some sort of controversy or some big news story and like everybody's thinking about it. They're going, is he going to talk about it? Like, I'm sure anytime you went through something. [3:19:20] and the first time you hit the stage, you can feel them. Yeah. Like waiting for you to address them. Yeah. That's to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's the best. That's the best. Yeah. [3:19:29] That's the best. Well, that was Tony after his cancellation. He went in hot. His bits tightened up, too, because he knew he couldn't have any fat in him. Because now people are waiting for you to fail. Yeah, they want you to fall on your face. Yeah. I think that's good to have. Oh, yeah. You shouldn't get comfy. Oh, yeah. It's real good. You need some haters. Yeah, it's motivation. Yeah. I'm going to make this shit so sharp that you're going to have to say something else. [3:19:53] Or not. Or, you know, look stupid. Yeah, but they're never going to not say something. But they'll be like, oh, but it's this, but it's that. But it's like you're not going to talk about the thing that we all care about. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's one thing we all care about, bro.

[3:20:07] Paddle. [3:20:08] you're so addicted I saw your bag I was like what's in the bag I'm going to play with your boy after this [3:20:17] Who are you playing with? Woody Harrelson is like big into it. Oh, yeah, he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He loves it. So we're going to go play. I think he's like building a club out here. [3:20:25] What's he building? A paddle club? Yeah, I think where he's invested in one of the clubs that's going on here. That's amazing. People get upset. It's like golf in that way. People just get obsessed with it. [3:20:34] Yeah. Yeah. You got to pick the things that you get obsessed with, though. You can't have too many of those things. I know, because our wives won't allow it. Yeah. Also, life is just, you don't have so much time. Unfortunately, my things take a lot of time. Like, the pool one takes a lot of time. Being in the forest. Yeah, it takes a lot of time. Yeah. Takes a week. Yeah. I love when I text you, like, out of the blue, and I just get a picture of you in, like, a foxhole. [3:20:59] Like, this fucking sweaty, grainy picture. Oh, I sent you a picture of me hunting pigs. Yeah, yeah. [3:21:04] I was in a ground blind. That's it, yeah. I'm in a ground blind right now. Yeah. And you're still talking shit? Yeah, I had cell phone service. [3:21:13] Talking shit while I was waiting for pigs to come out. Where was it? That was in Texas. It was in Texas. Yeah, that was out here, man. Yeah, I got a lease. You need to get rid of them, right? Aren't they like a – Oh, yeah. They're a real problem. I got a lease where me and a bunch of buddies have a lease on this big piece of hunting land. Yeah. And we go out there. And, you know, you literally have to kill pigs. [3:21:34] sausage and then i give it to my boys i bring it down to the mothership i i brought them coolers of elk meat the other night yeah and everybody's like grabbing elk sausage bringing home sending pictures of them cooking it that clip of you and burr when you gave burr the elk meat i think it was on like a kill tony at the store or something oh yeah yeah does it make you aggressive and then it's like no no joe you're so high for him to be like yes yes tony said it did

[3:22:04] I gave him some elk meat. Yeah, and then he went on stage at the fucking Trump rally. No, it was the other night. The other night I gave him some. He's like, dude, I hate it. I got all this energy. I just felt it. It's like a wild animal. I go, yeah, exactly. You're eating the essence of a wild forest horse. A forest horse that has swords growing out of its head. It's got spears growing out of its fucking head. [3:22:29] Screaming in the woods. That was the other thing. [3:22:34] compilation of the animal sounds you make which is the funniest fucking clip i've ever seen like you were getting because we got high you came in hot like you had the mushrooms rolling we were smoking weed and then you just start talking about bears and all of us are just like open mouth the wild world is like you should be in touch with that everybody should be in touch with that people have a ridiculous idea what the wild world is a buddy of mine sent me a video that his buddy [3:23:04] and he's driving down the street. I'll send it to you, Jamie. He's in Colorado driving down the street and he sees a fucking mountain lion take out [3:23:14] a deer right on the side of the fucking highway. I'm going to send this to you, Jamie, right now. This is like... I'm domesticated. Any of these people that are like, oh, mountain lions are important. They're a part of the ecosystem. These are wild monsters that live in... Did you see the one that I got in the lobby? [3:23:30] Do you see the mountain lion in the lobby? The big stuffed mountain lion? But the one you've always had. No, no, no. The mountain lion is new. The actual mountain lion. I didn't see it. My friend Adam Greentree shot it in Colorado. And it was...

[3:23:42] Killing cows, like slaughtering cows on this ranch in Colorado. Look at this. This is the side. Give me some volume on this. Listen to this. [3:23:53] Thank you. [3:23:54] Look at this deer. This mountain lion's got it by the neck. [3:23:59] Oh, man. [3:24:03] you [3:24:04] Oh, man. And he's trying to drag his wave free. [3:24:08] Thank you. [3:24:08] Sounds like my dog. [3:24:11] Oh, he got out. And then this dude helped him with the horn. [3:24:16] Every now and then the good guys win. [3:24:18] Thank you. [3:24:19] Isn't that crazy? But that's on the side of the road in Colorado. Like, that could be a hiker. [3:24:24] One hundred percent. One hundred percent. That could be a hiker. It's a little lady, some small lady, some hundred pound lady that's walking around, you know. Are they the good guys, though? I've thought about that. The mountain lions? No, the deer. [3:24:40] No. Like the prey. No, they're food. Yeah, but it's like... [3:24:44] They've evolved to escape these guys, and that's why they're still around. Right. So they have a competitive advantage over the Predators or else they just wouldn't exist. No. [3:24:54] But I guess what I'm trying to say is like – [3:24:57] They don't have an advantage. They're just hard to kill. Okay, they're hard to kill, but they've evolved to be hard to kill. But they get killed every day. Sure, sure, sure, sure. But, like, a lot of times they're going for the weak, they're going for the wounded, or going for the babies, because if you go for, like, the big dogs, it's going to be more difficult. You're going to expend more energy to kill them. Right. [3:25:11] But... [3:25:11] I look at the predators and I'm like, they can't eat grass. Right.

[3:25:15] Like, they would love to eat grass. [3:25:18] Grass is an easier life. It's everywhere. [3:25:21] they have to go attack these animals that have the swords coming out of their head. So there is a version where I look at it and I'm like, who's really burdened here? [3:25:30] Yeah, but the deer don't have the swords coming out of their head to fight off mountain lions. It's just they don't use them for mountain lions. They use them to fight each other. [3:25:37] It's just a fuck female deer. Yeah, it's just a dominance thing so they can show the females that they're the dominant males. They have the biggest racks and they smash racks with other deer. But they don't use it at all as defense against predators? No, not really. I mean, that's stupid. [3:25:51] They're not smart. Yeah. They're wary, but they're not intelligent. They're not, like, clever. Yeah. You know, mountain lions are clever. Wolves are really clever. Yeah, I don't fuck with the wolves, man. Wolves are really clever. Yeah. They have some sort of psychic communication with each other. [3:26:06] Oh, you think that? Yeah, they coordinate, and they don't know exactly how they do it, but they figure out traps. Well, like one wolf will come in, and they'll have other wolves flank the animals. So the animals start to scatter, and the wolves come in from the sides and get them. Coyotes do the same thing. And they'll hunt humans too, right? They used to. They used to a lot. I mean, World War I, they actually had a ceasefire between the Russians and the Germans because the wolves were killing so many people. They decided, we have to stop and kill wolves. So they came together, took out the wolves. Yeah. [3:26:36] started killing. Yeah, because you've got to realize they're in trench warfare, right? So people get shot and they're bleeding and the wolves smell the blood. So the wolves were – they would hear guys getting torn apart in the middle of the night by wolves. The wolves had made their way into the foxholes and were just ripping guys apart.

[3:26:53] Imagine you're lying in a trench and you hear that like 100 yards away, a guy getting eaten alive by wolves. How much do you think people knew – [3:27:01] Thank you. [3:27:02] about war during World War I. Very little, right? I mean, they knew war existed, but there's no footage, right? There's no photographs. There's just a concept. [3:27:13] And they're just being fed propaganda constantly from their own countries. [3:27:19] I wonder what happens when all those guys come home. [3:27:23] And they're clearly traumatized. [3:27:25] But everybody else has just been consuming the propaganda about just, oh, look what he's doing and are fighting for us and everything is amazing and we're winning the war and all this positivity that's probably emanating through news. And then these guys come home and they start sharing like the actual stories. [3:27:38] Right. Like, ugh. Well, they just come back shell-shocked. Like, you ever see Peaky Blinders, that show? Yeah, I watched a couple seasons when I think Cormac McCarthy was directing. No, no. Am I getting that name right? [3:27:50] I might be messing up. But yeah, McCarthy's the author, right? Oh no. So I'm thinking of a different guy. [3:27:54] Yeah, did he do Angela's Ashes? Well, Cormac McCarthy, those are the craziest – who's the guy who directed this? The craziest headline of all time is connected to Cormac McCarthy. I'm going to send Jamie this. [3:28:08] Look at this headline. This is an article from The Atlantic. This might be literally the craziest article. [3:28:14] headline that anyone has ever put in an article before. [3:28:18] You don't have to pull it up. It's just a headline of an article. [3:28:21] Thank you. [3:28:23] Okay.

[3:28:24] Thank you. [3:28:24] Cormac McCarthy's ex-wife pulled a gun out of her vagina during an argument about aliens. [3:28:32] A little 38? Probably a 22. Yeah, we didn't know. [3:28:37] I didn't know what he said about aliens. [3:28:42] It was probably a little Derringer, one of them little two-shot little tiny pistols you could stick in your cooter. [3:28:48] To have a gun in your pussy is crazy. What? [3:28:53] They were having an argument about aliens. She's like, I'm not hearing it anymore. What? [3:28:58] why was it enough motherfucker but why was it in there because they're drunk as fuck they're probably having a good time most writers i think like especially old-timey writers yeah well hemingway was a big drunk i think those people part like hunter s thompson craziest of all i think those people party stephen king when he's in his prime cocaine alcohol all those people that wrote great shit they're all out of their fucking head it's a little crazier than to the [3:29:28] McCarthy went into her bedroom and emerged wearing lingerie. Her boyfriend probably thought, oh, great, reconciliation sex time. Sorry for being skeptical of your out-of-body experience, hon. Until McCarthy pulled a Swithin' Wesson out of her vagina and proceeded to have... [3:29:42] Intercourse with the gun... [3:29:45] I don't know why intercourse asking her boyfriend, who's crazy, you or me? [3:29:49] Hmm. [3:29:50] So she's fucking herself with the gun. Yeah. Okay. Exorcist. My kind of gal.