The 1916 Jersey Shore Shark Attacks (Part 1)

[00:00] Cape Fear is a new series now streaming on Apple TV. This 10-episode mystery thriller is executive produced by Martin Scorsese and stars Academy Award winner Javier Bardem, Academy Award nominee Amy Adams, and Emmy nominee Patrick Wilson. [00:15] When convicted murderer Max Cady is released from prison, he begins infiltrating the family of the married attorneys who helped put him behind bars. [00:24] Every good detective needs a partner to support them on important cases. Think of a State Farm agent like your sidekick, there to help you along the way in your search for coverage. State Farm can help you choose the coverage you need, whether it's for your home, car, boat, or even RV. With so many options, it's nice knowing you have help finding what fits for you so you can get back to solving all of life's bigger cases. Go to statefarm.com or [00:54] neighbor state farm is there time for a quick break to talk about mcdonald's whether it's a textbook double play or some infield magic when the texas rangers turn two at globe life field you can turn it into a free mcdouble the next day only in the mcdonald's app with a purchase of two dollars or more while you're in the app be sure to check out other great deals go rangers and get that double play valid one time per day through 9 25 2026 at participating mcdonald's a day after [01:24] Thanks. [01:24] Hey weirdos, I'm Ash. And I'm Alayna. And this is Morbid.

[01:42] This is Morbid, and it's going to be a cinematic one. Cinematic, you say? We're going to be talking about shark attacks. Oh, dun-nut! [01:50] yeah not just any shark attacks they're from 1916 and they're famous shark attacks really jersey shore ones in fact i don't know if i've heard of this do you know that even when i swim in a lake i'm terrified of getting shark attacked oh yeah [02:06] I'm terrified of anything. Sometimes I sit in the pool and I'm like, what if there's a shark in here? And I'm like, what if there's that thing from that episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark in here? I know. That would fuck me up. [02:18] You know, go watch. Go into Laughing in the Dark, by the way, if you want to hear recaps of Are You Afraid of the Dark? There you go. We're not on it, but I'm just saying it's a good podcast. And Mikey's on it. Mikey's on it. And Dave. And Dave. Who made this cinematic. And Brian. And Brian. And Eileen. And Eileen. We don't know, but I'm sure she's great. Yeah. But yeah, so I always think that thing's going to come out. I know. Is it the Dead Man's Float? [02:44] That's the episode. Yep. That was always the one that really scared me. That and... [02:48] I'm cold. I'm cold. But yeah, so this is going to terrify you for water. I'm scared. Today, just like Jaws did. We'll talk about Jaws, too. [03:00] We are going to talk about Joss. Yeah, but before we do that... We have an announcement. We have an announcement for these. It's kind of like an announcement that's not an announcement. It's like a half-nouncement. It's like a get ready. Get ready. Just keep your eyes peeled on the Instas. I think that's really the only social media we have. Maybe we'll make a TikTok about it. Maybe. But definitely keep your eye on the Instas. And this space in particular.

[03:30] we'll talk about it on the pod. Yeah. We're going to be announcing something pretty big. Yeah. Maybe something that you can attend. Yeah, maybe. Maybe you could go to. Maybe you could go to there. Maybe. I don't know. Your life. I don't know. Just keep that in mind. Just think about it. For the next week or so. Yeah. You know, just keep it in mind. Keep your eyes peeled. Your ears peeled. Keep everything peeled. That sounds gross. Your onions, your potatoes. Peel it all. Peel it all. Peel away. And if you're like my kids, peel your apple as well. Peel your apple, yeah. You know? [04:00] There's so much fiber in it. I know. I tell them. I tell them. Tell them. Say, TT's fiber maxing. And you should too. Two out of three of them will eat the skin of a kiwi. [04:09] But not the skin of an apple. You're supposed to eat the skin on the kiwi. I know. I was like... [04:13] only a few days ago old when I found that out. Yeah, it's really good for you. I didn't know. I thought you weren't supposed to, in fact. I mean, it's fuzzy, so it's weird. But, you know, eat the skin, guys. Do it. Live your life the way you want to live it. And also... [04:28] If you're looking for a book to read. Hey, I know somebody who wrote a few books. I'm always going to tell you about it. Always. Always. The third book in the series, The Butcher Legacy, you can preorder it. And I think there's still some signed copies left at Barnes & Noble. So if you want those, I don't know if there's any left, but if there is, go grab them. Could be. They might be gone. Hunt it down. Go hunt it down. [04:51] So go pre-order it. You can go to butcherlegacy.com, pre-order it wherever you want, hardcover. It's going to be great. You can get an e-book. Audiobook news will be coming.

[05:02] You know what's... [05:03] is crazy. [05:05] Some of my favorite authors of all time. [05:08] have given me blurbs. That's a cool fucking moment. And they've been pretty amazing. So it's given me a big head. I love that. And it's just been phenomenal. I can't wait. I can't wait for you guys to see what authors... [05:22] agreed to do it because i am still speechless it's a big deal yeah it's blowing my mind a little bit also we're on opposite sides of the room today [05:30] Yeah. And like, it didn't feel weird until right now. Yeah, we flip flop to the room a little because we needed to clear the energy a bit. It looks so good in here. I'm so happy with the way that it came out. Yeah. But all of a sudden, it just hit me how weird I feel. Yeah. Not in a bad way. Just in a like, whoa, a whole new world. Exactly. You know. [05:48] You know what else was a whole new world? [05:50] Jersey. [05:51] 1916. Yeah. Yeah, that was a whole different world. There you go. Look at that segue. Look at it. Look at it. So first, this is going to be cinematic. It's going to be gruesome. It's going to horrify you. Okay. [06:05] But you know, here we are. It's morbid. It's also going to be a two-parter because holy shit, there's a lot in this one. I mean, this is like [06:14] far past what a one-parter could do, because there's just a lot. I'm scared. And I'm going to give you a lot right up front, so I don't have to take it. Okay. [06:23] Let's go back to what we're all thinking about right now. What are we all thinking about when we think of shark attacks? Jaws? Yeah, Jaws.

[06:34] I want to watch Jaws now. [06:35] In the opening scene... [06:37] Of Steven Spielberg's iconic, iconic 1975 film, Jaws, which my kids want to watch so bad and I've not let them watch it yet. Not yet. Two teenagers steal glances at one another from across a bonfire before coming together to go for a walk along the beach. What could be more romantic? I was just going to say that's romance at its peak. Well, during their walk, one of them, Chrissy, decides she wants to go for a late night swim. What's more romantic than that? I'm not late night swimming. Me neither. [07:07] I'm not with this boy either because the boy, having had too much to drink, stumbles and passes out on the beach. Terrible. Romance gone. Yeah, romance absolutely dead. Chrissy's like, you know what? [07:18] I'm going to take my little swim by myself. So she goes to take the swim and she stops for a moment. She's catching her breath. She's looking up at the pretty night sky. It's gorgeous. Real moment of peace and calm and self-reflection, you know? And then she's briefly yanked downward from something beneath her. And this is such an, I can see this scene in my head because she's, [07:38] She has this look in her face where she's like confused, scared, but kind of just like a... [07:44] Like, huh? Like, you can tell. What the fuck was that? She's like, Ashton Kutcher. And then she is violently dragged through the water. Her body is whipped back and forth in this completely unnatural motion. She's screaming in pain and terror. And then she just disappears under the surface and we never see her again. Bye, Chrissy. That's it. Bye, Chrissy. The next morning, local police find a severed arm on the beach. And it is all that's left of Chrissy. Rip. Damn. What a way to begin a movie.

[08:14] The production and release of Jaws has definitely become the stuff of legends, you know, an unexpected blockbuster with record profits that introduced the world to one of Hollywood's most highly decorated and widely praised directors. Of course, Steven Spielberg. The one, the only. [08:30] But we know now pretty unintentionally introduced the world to what would become one of humankind's most feared and fearsome. [08:39] enemies. Like our arch nemesis. Not mine, but hopefully not yours, but what was thought of as our arch nemesis, the shark. Beginning with the moment Chrissy is dragged beneath the water to her death, audiences that watch Jaws spend two hours watching one of the world's oldest living animal groups be demonized and recast as a complete villain in a horror movie. I know, poor sharks. They really do get a bad rap. Yeah, and it was shown as something that stalks and [09:09] like cunning and like malicious intention like it's a literal intent like intent but in reality shark attacks are so fucking rare guys yeah according to the florida museum of natural history there are less than 100 shark bites bites every year with roughly half being quote unprovoked typically you know that's the result of the shark mistaking a person for its normal [09:39] It's pretty understandable, of course, because... [09:41] They're so foreign looking to us. You know what I mean? It's also the whole prospect of being eaten alive. And that's the thing that even by mistake, if I can be eaten alive, that's scary. It's kind of a big deal. It's kind of like hippos are scary as fuck and we should be scared of hippos.

[09:56] But sharks are totally different. [09:59] situation. Like, hippos fucking hate us, and they want to hurt us. They want to eat the shit out of us. They want to eat the shit out of you. They are pissed at you for even existing. Sharks are not the same. I'm so sorry. Quick, quick little divergence here. I was watching TikToks yesterday, and this one girl, I think she was in, I forget where she was, but her driver was like, I can cross the river in the car. And she was like, no, you can't. And the driver crossed the river in the car, and there was hippos in the water. Isn't that horrifying? Hippos will fuck you up. Mm-hmm. [10:28] in ways you can't understand and they will like they get pissed just by seeing you yeah they scare the shit out of me and they're fast and they can run really fast underwater i don't like underwater they can they run really fast underwater they're like made for that and they swim fast yeah [10:45] Those big old scary bitches can go fast. And they're fast on land. They're scary. Yeah, that's horrifying. Yeah. But sharks, not the same. Those are two examples of things that we look at and we go, holy shit, that thing is so huge and can eat me alive and that's terrifying. One of them wants to, one of them doesn't. Yeah. And that's the thing. Sharks are huge. [11:08] like a lot of them yeah they're real big they move really fast and even an accidental or exploratory bite by a shark can have serious consequences because they're so big and fast i love the concept of an exploratory bite which they that is a thing with sharks i know they'll just be like i just want to see if you're actually a fish and then they take a bite of you and they're like oh that wasn't what i wanted it's like me with the cheese plate i'm like this one could be good nope

[11:38] understandable and [11:40] Actually, probably pretty healthy fear of sharks, to be honest. It exacerbated it. Yeah, a lot. It created a monster out of an ordinary, you know, pretty imposing, though, animal that has existed far longer than we have, leading to stereotypes about sharks, particularly the great white shark that caused hordes of commercial and casual fishermen to hunt, kill and display them without regard for their population or their ecological importance. That's really fucked up. [12:10] and Benchley, who were like all the people who worked on the film, they did go on to publicly state that they had a lot of regret for how they unintentionally contributed to the overfishing and general demonization of sharks. And they stress that Jaws is a work of fiction and shouldn't be taken as anything else. That's like, don't be scared that like a dream demon is going to come and stalk your teenagers. Like it's a movie. It's a fiction. It's so annoying when people have to [12:40] widely understood. That like fiction is fake. Yeah. But the fact is, while it is a work of fiction, there's at least one instance in American history where the stereotypes and fears inspired by Jaws [12:52] were very reasonable. So these were like intentionally angry sharks. These are pretty, pretty gnarly. This was called these in the summer of 1916. It was called the Summer of Blood. Fuck. Which is the most metal thing I've ever heard. I've never heard of this. Yeah. Now, this summer, Americans were waiting on pins and needles to learn whether, you know, their kids were going to be called up to fight in the Great War that was unfolding in Europe.

[13:17] But the nations, you know, are privileged class. [13:21] They started prepping for long summer vacations at beaches and lakes across the country. Different vibes. So, you know, among them was Dr. Eugene Van Zandt, a widely respected physician who had come of age during the latter half of the 19th century and now was nearing retirement. And so liked to spend his summers by taking his entire family to Beach Haven in New Jersey. Nice. That summer felt great. [13:44] very important to Van Zandt, with the American Medical Association calling for, quote, preparedness camps to train American doctors for field service, you know, should the Americans join the fight in Europe. The likelihood that his oldest son, Charles, who was like 23 at the time, would be called in to fight, it was kind of becoming more inevitable with each passing day. But for the time being, at least, Dr. Van Zandt wanted to make the most of the time they had and enjoy this vacation with his family. Yeah, I totally got that. [14:14] And they did this a lot. They went there like almost every summer. Now at the time, very few like civilians and just like [14:21] lay people essentially, really understood the ecology of the world's waterways or how the currents carried a big variety of sea life in and out of areas through the year. In later years, Beach Haven residents and visitors were shocked to find, you know, all this kind of marine life that they had never seen before being pulled from the water by amateur fishermen. They're like, where the fuck are these coming from? Like blue marlins, a 1,150 pound mako shark. Those are both

[14:51] to the tropics. So people were like, where the fuck are they coming from? They just didn't know that that's something that can happen. And again, no one, especially civilians, could have had any idea that during this particular summer in 1916, a lone great white shark had become thrown off by the chaos of the Gulf Stream and found itself swimming along the New Jersey coastline, [15:13] growing increasingly hungry in the absence of its typical larger prey. That breaks my fucking heart. So he's just alone and hungry. Lonely and hungry? Yeah. Yeah. [15:23] now i know i i know this is gonna get real bad but i feel really badly for him yeah now in the early afternoon of july 1st dr van zantz again 23 year old son charles uh rose from his spot on the beach and walked into the water oh no um he basically stopped when the water reached his knees and he started playing with this chesapeake bay retriever dog who was all don't worry the dog is going to be thank you so much um [15:49] But that's the only one that's safe. So they you know, the dog was just in the water. He was in the water. He had grown up with dogs. So he like instantly bonded with this dog. Yeah. And he had seen him on the beach and a family member said it seemed like. [16:04] just normal that Charles would just like hook on to this animal and just end up playing with the animal even at like 23 you know so they were just running around playing together they were being rambunctious in the water together splashing yelling chasing each other like adorable and in no time Charles had fully immersed himself in the water and was swimming after the dog who then in turn would swim after Charles if Charles ran away so they were like going back and forth chasing

[16:34] surface of the water, anyone could see the unmistakable signs of play and the sounds of happiness and fun. Yeah, that was happening with Charles and his new furry friend as they were swimming and splashing. But below the surface, there was a [16:48] from a distance away, the sight and sounds of Charles and the dog, would have looked and sounded... [16:54] decidedly different. In fact, to an animal expertly attuned to signals of distress from potential prey, the noise and disturbance caused by Charles and the dog were exactly the type of chaos that would draw in a hungry shark. So swimming several miles from the shore, this lone great white would certainly have received these signals being admitted by Charles and the dog, [17:24] those sound waves and he would follow them back to their point of origin. That's so fucking scary. It's crazy how they're literally just designed to hunt. That is what is fascinating about sharks. It is very fascinating. They're literally designed for this and it's not like they just hear it. It's sound waves and they can track those sound waves. From below and several yards away, Charles would have appeared to the shark as a large dark shape, which is precisely the kind of prey the great [17:54] And hadn't been able to eat. And better yet, at least from the shark's perspective, his vigorous splashing indicated distress, which meant the shark wasn't going to have to expend a lot of energy to get this prey either. Right. Also, according to ichthyologist George Burgess, it is widely accepted as fact that swimming with dogs is far more likely to attract the attention of a shark. Really? I never have heard that before.

[18:24] are extremely attractive to sharks. The front paws, doggy paddling, creating a maximum splash, and the rear legs, bicycle peddling, four rapidly moving legs, make a blending motion at the surface, and it couldn't be a whole lot more attractive to a shark. Interesting. Of course, in 1916, neither Charles or... [18:45] really anybody would have known that the noise they made was all but slapping the great white shark in the face, drawing it closer and closer with more motion. So from the beach, a small crowd had gathered and they were watching Charles and the dog kind of like play with each other. And by then Charles had started swimming out towards the diving dock anchored about 100 yards or so from the shore. Both he and the dog had passed all the other swimmers in the water [19:15] So, [19:16] they'd swim out too far or maybe sense something Charles couldn't, but for whatever reason, the dog, [19:22] suddenly turned and started swimming back towards the shore that's actually very interesting too i think that's so interesting if he sent something yeah like and if he was trying to yeah and if he was trying to kind of tell him like why don't you follow me bud yeah like we've been following each other just follow me back here right oh yeah we don't deserve them when he realized his companion his furry companion had abandoned him charles turned and called out to the dog but by then the [19:52] So Charles' sisters would remember that moment for the rest of their lives. They watched as their brother accepted that, you know, he wasn't going to play with his dog anymore. And he decided, okay, I'm going to head back to the beach too. So...

[20:05] The dog did give him a signal of some kind. I don't think he got a distress signal. Yeah. Clearly. But I think he could. Signal enough. Something in his brain told him. Because we are so connected to dogs, I feel like. I agree. That it's like, I wonder if he was like, I'm going to follow him. Yeah. I won't go back. Then one of the other bystanders noticed something else in the water. A dark fin had appeared behind Charles, who was now swimming steadily towards the shore. This always sounds like fiction. Like whenever you hear about a shark attack and people are like, we saw the fin. It's like. [20:35] what happens. Oh my god. And someone among the crowd shouted watch out but Charles was too far out to hear them and even if he had there was little he could have done. That's the thing watch out like what are you gonna do? Once a great white has decided to attack it moves with incredible speed and it bites with four seconds. [20:53] thousand pounds of force. Wow. Jaws full of sharp, jagged teeth that are designed for tearing and ripping. [21:11] This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the all-in-one finance app where you can bank, borrow, and invest all in one place. Let's talk about bank accounts for a second. The average bank savings rate is 0.39% in interest. You're earning pennies on your savings, and it doesn't have to be that way. But with SoFi's high-yield checkings and savings, the money barely making moves sitting in your savings account can earn over eight times the

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[23:25] pray. It would hear the thumping of Charles's heart as he swam. [23:32] That is diabolical. [23:35] Doesn't that just send a fucking chill down your spine? That... [23:40] is dia-fucking-bolicle. This is like in the sinking of the Indianapolis. With the plates. With the plates that they could pick it up over the sonar. Just the clinking of a plate together. Hunting in general and like the... Just the different... [23:54] strategies and or just like [23:56] things that we're, like, predisposed with. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like, it's just so crazy. Evolution is insane. It's really, like, you just can't conceive of this kind of shit. Like, it's insane. And it's... [24:08] fascinating to me. It is. [24:10] I could just do a hundred different episodes of this podcast on like predators. Yeah. And maybe we should, because it's really, we could start, we could start a new series. I mean, like a pressure series in and of itself is about predators. Yeah. Is that like animal predators? Like the fact that it gets closer to him. And then the last little clink of like, okay, this is, [24:31] this is prey that I'm following is it can hear his heartbeat. Like something about that just sent me now. [24:39] If Charles had looked down at that moment, he would have seen his own shadow reflected off the sandy ocean floor because he wasn't that... [24:46] deep anymore. I hate that he wasn't even that deep anymore. And he would have seen beside him something much larger. But by that point, Charles was swimming in a little over three feet of water. I think that happens actually pretty frequently, which is fucking terrifying. It does. And the shore was very much in reach. But by then it was too late.

[25:05] The crowd on the beach watched in horror as the shark exploded out of the water and grabbed Charles' left leg just below the knee. Charles let out a scream that could be heard as far away as the resort tennis courts. As the water around him turned from just nice greenish blue to dark churning red. Because again, what did you say? 4,000 pounds of just force? That's crazy. [25:35] to experience painless torture, to greatly underestimate the severity of their wounds, which you see a lot. Painless torture. Because you go into shock, I think, almost immediately. In that moment, Charles would have surely had no idea what was happening, and he probably... [25:51] wouldn't have felt a lot of any, a lot or any pain. Interesting. He would, however, have realized that something had grabbed him and was trying to drag him under the water. And his instincts would have been to fight hard to get away, obviously. [26:06] From the beach, the crowd watched in disbelief as Charles struggled with the shark to free himself, but his struggle only caused the animal to bite down harder. Yeah. It had made the calculated decision to attack, and it wouldn't have done so if it wasn't fully intending on keeping its prey. Yeah. Once it makes the decision... [26:23] It's going to be hard for it to end. Louise Van Zandt, his sister, said, everyone was horrified to see my brother thrashing about in the water, as if he were struggling with some monster under the surface. [26:35] which must have been

[26:36] fucking terrifying to watch. And you can't, what can you do? That's the thing. I was just sitting here thinking that exact thought. What do you do? This freaks me out even more. So just as suddenly as it had started, the attack stopped. [26:48] As nearly a dozen men entered the surf shouting and making a large commotion, the shark released Charles from its mouth, taking with it nearly all of his calf. [26:58] But as the men got nearer to Charles and started pulling him towards the shore, the shark didn't retreat entirely. Instead, it was hovering nearby, watching as its prey was pulled away as though it might attack again. Today, and this is fucking crazy, this behavior is understood as basically, it's one of the great whites, especially more common tactics. It inflicts a very serious bite, like it goes hard first, then it waits around the prey. [27:28] and it waits for the prey to slow or stop altogether, because that ensures that it expends no more energy than necessary. So to inflict that insane bite, incapacitate the prey, watch as it bleeds out. [27:43] Or just at least slows down where they don't have to fight with it. And then it will go back in because it's like, I don't want to expend any more energy on this. So it was sitting there. [27:52] watching them pull him away being like no like leave him there i'm waiting for him to [27:56] to stop so it's like confused isn't that fucking crazy it is it is [28:01] Now, at that time, the behavior was so fucking eerie to these people. Everyone who saw this was like, it's just fucking sitting there watching. Like stalking. Yeah, like just watching what it had set in motion here, just seeing how it panned out, essentially, is what it looked like. Now, by the time the first swimmer, Alexander Ott, reached Charles in the water, the shark had now vanished from sight. Interesting. Okay.

[28:31] attack was... [28:32] Very courageous and very dangerous to do. Ott had just grabbed Charles under his arm and was pulling him to shore when he felt a hard tug pull it backwards. Oh, fuck. The shark had returned because he was waiting. Uh-huh. And this time it had grabbed Charles tightly by the thigh and was attempting to pull him under. Oh, fuck. Ott immediately found himself in a tug of war as a line of men created a human chain into the water for Ott to grab onto. Wow. [29:01] The men managed to get Charles to the beach with the shark following the entire way. [29:06] It appeared to many people. [29:08] They said as though the shark was going to come out of the water and onto the beach. I was just going to say, was the shark like beached? Yeah, they literally were like, it looked like it was about to start walking onto the beach. Holy fuck. Like that's how closely it was following. One observer said the shark held on until it scraped bottom. [29:25] Wow. Then it let go and swam away. Wow. Yeah. I can't imagine watching this from the beach. [29:32] I obviously can't imagine experiencing that, but watching it... [29:38] I would never ever get in a body of water ever again. I don't think I'd ever go to the beach again. No, honestly, I don't like the beach anyways, but I definitely wouldn't like the beach. No, because it would just be so traumatizing, but you hear about people that literally have been attacked by sharks and get right back in the water. [29:52] which like insane like insane like good like surfers like that girl who got her soul surfer soul surfer she got her arm bitten off and is back to surfing i was just talking to drew about that movie that's wild that you said that every so often in the shower i'll just wash my hair with like one arm and like try to do things with one arm because i remember that movie after she got attacked and just like the struggles that she had to overcome you don't think about how

[30:22] And then to go back to, I'm sorry, I'm not that. [30:25] I'm not that brave. Also surfing with one arm. It's all about balance. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Outrageous. Now on the beach, everyone stood around Charles in a complete state of shock. [30:36] pretty stunned by what they just witnessed, and they gathered around him to try to provide aid or just to see what the fuck was going on. When she got close enough to see her brother, Louise Van Zandt fainted. [30:47] She said... [30:48] His leg was completely mangled, missing large chunks of muscle and flesh, like just gone. From the parlor of the resort, Dr. Eugene Van Zandt rushed down the boardwalk and onto the beach, where he found his son crumpled on the sand with blood pouring out of massive wounds on his leg. What a great time to be a doctor, though. Yeah. But Dr. Van Zandt dropped down beside him, and he's determined to save his son's life. He's a doctor. Yeah. But they were far from any hospital or medical facility of any kind, [31:18] I mean, you're at the beach. You're on vacation. More than that, never in Dr. Van Zandt's career had he seen wounds like the ones Charles had sustained. And he said he didn't even know where to begin to stop the bleeding. He didn't even know where to put anything. Well, because like you said, his leg is like mangled. Yeah, he said it was coming from everywhere. That's the thing. It's not like it's just clean cut off. Exactly. Alexander Ott began, like women were tearing up. [31:41] pieces of fabric from their dresses and giving them to Alexander in order to tie off the limb and try to like staunch any of the blood flow. And in the meantime, Dr. Van Zandt had been joined by two other doctors who happened to be on the beach. Wow, what are the odds? But like Van Zandt himself, neither of them knew what they could do because again, they don't even know where to stop the bleeding either. You're also on the fucking beach. Yeah, exactly. Like what do you do? All that shit too. So they carried Charles up to the hotel where at least they would have a clean surface and soap and

[32:11] like sand and shit in the wound. They laid him on the desk in the manager's office, but despite the makeshift tourniquets and the heavy bleeding was just continuing. And there... [32:21] Under the lamplight in the office, Dr. Van Zandt just had to watch helplessly as his son bled to death. Oh, my God. Little did they know, though, it would be just the first of such deaths that were going to occur that July. Oh, no. Now, for as long as humans have been going into the ocean, there have been shark attacks. [32:41] even though they are very rare. Yeah, they still happen. But the attack on Charles Van Zandt was among the first, if not the first time such an attack had been witnessed by such a large group of people on shore. Like, I think this might have been the first time. I wonder, like, this is going to sound so ridiculous, but I wonder, like, when going to the beach became a thing. No, it's true. Who looked at sand next to water and was like, that seems like it would be the most luxurious [33:11] going to the beach. That's actually, that's a very good question. Do you know what I mean? [33:16] Become popular. [33:17] In the mid to late 18th and 19th centuries. All right. So we're kind of early in the beach days. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. [33:24] We're still trying to figure out this beach thing here. It seems like for leisure, though, it actually was around the 1920s. So this makes perfect sense. Oh, yeah. So this is, like, really... [33:33] And then apparently the 60s were considered the golden age of beach culture. Oh, yeah. Because that's like where those beach party movies are, you know, like Moondoggy and the beach boys. Yeah. Like, that makes sense.

[33:46] Um, so... [33:47] Having no context or precedence for such an event, the experience of watching a man being mauled by a shark... [33:54] was nothing short of traumatic and immediately attracted the attention of the press, drawing reporters from New York and Philadelphia, as well as the Associated Press. Michael Capuzzo wrote, the number of people who witnessed the attack seemed to grow by the hour, because actual witnesses came in, but they were joined by countless others who claimed to have seen it happen. That's so fucked up. Why would you pretend like you saw that? Don't insert yourself into a tragedy. Yeah, I don't want to pretend like I saw that. To those who actually witnessed the attack, [34:24] would have done it. They may not have known what kind of shark it was, but the shape of its body and the sight of its mouth was no doubt a shark. Others, though, minimized the seriousness of the incident, claiming [34:36] It could have been a large tuna. [34:38] or even a great sea turtle. [34:40] Y'all. When the fuck have you seen that happen? Never. Never. A great tuna. A great tuna. Guys. [34:49] Guys, hello. A great big tuna. I don't know about that. Now, despite the conflicting theories, the coroner joined the consensus and listed Charles' death as, which this was definitely a hemorrhage from femoral artery. Yeah. Which was the result of being bitten by a shark while bathing. [35:06] It was the first time in American history that a shark bite appeared on a death certificate. Isn't that crazy? It is. Dr. Vincent confirmed the coroner's report in the witness statements, describing the animal that killed his son as being, quote, nine feet long and weighed probably 500 pounds. Damn. Now, the attack on Vincent had been entirely unprovoked and should have warranted at least a warning of caution to beachgoers. But what they got was...

[35:33] It was pretty much the opposite. In an article published the following day, New Jersey Fish Commissioner, which like... [35:39] Pause. Imagine being... [35:42] like that i know that's like a real thing yeah what a title to behold fish commissioner new jersey the new jersey fish commissioner i would just call myself the fish commission i was just gonna say that you literally were in my head holy shit i was gonna go the new jersey fish commission i'm the fish commission like hello i'm the commission fish if he's not do if you are currently the new jersey fish commissioner only the new jersey you do not call yourself the new jersey fish commission i [36:12] you doing? I hope this reaches the New Jersey Fish Commission. Please become the New Jersey Fish Commission. I'm obsessed. So this New Jersey Fish Commission, James Meehan, told a reporter, despite the death of Charles Van Zandt and the report that two sharks had been caught in the vicinity recently, I do not believe there's any reason why people should hesitate to go swimming at beaches for fear of man-eaters. [36:34] uh what one of them ate a man so like i feel i think you should be a little worried about that also i'm just how could you not be is self-preservation not a thing that's and also you just lifted all the reasons why we should be a little hesitant you said that there was an attack where someone died and then two sharks were caught yeah i feel like those are all very valid reasons to not go in there pretty freaked out by that fish commish yeah [36:59] Now, it would have done little good for them to terrify beach goers, especially during the area's most profitable time of the year. Yeah, I was going to say July. But Fish Commission Meehan went a step further, minimizing the attack and the repeated shark sightings from fishermen in the area. He said, in the first place, the information in regards to the sharks is indefinite. And from what I have read, I should hardly believe that young Van Zandt was attacked by a man-eater.

[37:26] What do you think he was attacked by then? He was a man and he was eaten. Correct. By something in the sea. And also, like, indefinite? No, he died. No, he died. And also, how fucking terrible to the family. To minimize that? To just be like, I don't know. Yeah. Fuck you. He went on to theorize that it was probably a small shark that had become trapped in the surface, and in passing, it had, quote, snapped at Van Zandt. Snapped and bit his leg off, resulting in death? That's not a snap, babe. [37:52] And further emphasized the message that there was no need to exercise any additional risk. In fact, the commissioner assured readers that any sharks in the area were wanderers and harmless. So there was no need to be concerned. He essentially said the sharks... [38:09] Just chilling. And he said, XOXO, fish commish. Fish commish. Under most circumstances, he probably would have been right, obviously. Yeah, they're rare. You don't need to be... [38:21] horribly fearful of sharks. You need to be alert and you need to be knowledgeable and you need to be listening and aware of your surroundings and like look up what sharks think are fish and shit. I think it's also one of those things like I'm thinking like how do you not have self-preservation while I'm just going to go in the water after this happened. But I think it's one of those things where people say like, [38:44] Okay, well, that just happened. So the probability... What are the odds that it's going to happen again? Turns out the odds are pretty good that they're going to happen again. Now, on the afternoon of July 6, 27-year-old Charles Bruder, a manager with the Essex and Sussex Hotel, was eager to show off his swimming skills for the bellhops who worked under him at the hotel. Obsessed. He had gained a reputation as one of the strongest swimmers at the hotel, and having the morning off, he had hoped to demonstrate those skills publicly.

[39:14] Well, and even more, two other hotel employees had beaten his record that afternoon. So he was like, no, this can't stand. No, it cannot. So by that time, the news of the attack on Charles Van Zandt, and it's weird that his name is Charles as well. I was also thinking that. It is the early 1900s, so I think everyone's name was Charles. Yeah. The news had reached Spring Lake, about 45 miles from Beach Haven. Wow, 45 miles. Yeah. [39:38] And just that morning, the staff had been discussing the story. But Charles Bruder dismissed the concerns because he was like, I've, you know, I've gone swimming off the coast of California in previous summers. And I've seen much larger and more imposing sharks than the one described by the press. So he's like, it's fine. We have nothing to fear. [39:55] In fact, he had worked for a resort in Los Angeles the previous summer, and he was an avid fisherman and outdoorsman. [40:03] There was probably a lot of truth to that. He probably had seen bigger sharks. Okay. He probably even swam in water that had bigger sharks in it. But also perhaps different kinds of sharks. Well, that's... [40:13] Just because you've seen bigger ones and they didn't eat you doesn't mean you shouldn't exercise a little caution. Yeah, that's just good luck, doll. But again, during this time period, so little was known about sharks' feeding habits and the ecological shit about it. Like why they're here, why this one could be here, how hungry it could be, how confused it could be. Right, that's important to highlight. That afternoon, Bruder headed down to the bathhouses on the beach and changed into a swimwear. He was like, I'm going to reclaim this fucking title. [40:43] four-mile swim, which is insane. But he didn't have the time, so he decided to focus on speed rather than distance. Along with two other bellhops, he entered the water in the Essex and Sussexes' South End Bathing Pavilion and began putting on a show for the small group of onlookers. I'm sorry, but Bathing Pavilion is horrifying to me. Because it does sound gross. Bathing Pavilion? It really does. From the beach, the group watched as Bruder swam straight out into the deeper waters, dipping below the safety ropes and

[41:13] side. Now, just a few days earlier, a major storm had swept through the area and it had churned up the water. [41:20] But on that day, everything was clear and sunnied. [41:22] According to Michael Capuzzo, and this is a quote, as graceful as Bruder appeared from the shore, his movements were sprawling rough, almost obscenely graceless for a creature of the sea. Which like he is not a creature of the sea. I was just going to say he's a human. As he swam, his limbs slapped the surface of the water, causing small rippling waves out into the ocean. [41:52] or other marine life in distress. Basically, exactly the type of commotion a shark would recognize from miles away and come on down to investigate. [42:13] If you're not familiar with Mooncat, all of their nail lacquers are like nail art in a bottle. Every single shade is a work of art intentionally crafted with only the highest quality pigments and designed to be as long-lasting as they are extraordinarily out of this world. These are some of the prettiest nail polishes I've ever seen in my life. We're talking colors you've never seen before. Shifty polishes that constantly transform colors in different lighting. How freaking cool is that? [42:43] with every fluctuation in your body heat.

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[46:27] The man in the red canoe is upset. [46:31] But when they looked, they saw no canoe. It was only later that it occurred to the lifeguards that the red canoe was in fact a massive spray of blood that had rapidly spread across the surface of the water. Oh, fuck. She thought he was in a red canoe. [46:48] Holy shit. The two lifeguards, Captains George White and Chris Anderson, grabbed their small rescue boat and charged into the water because lifeguards are badass. They really are. By then, the shark had completely removed one of Bruder's legs. And by the time they reached him in the water, the animal had managed to rip the other leg from Bruder's body. Sending him, quote, pinwheeling above the surface of the sea with incredible force. [47:16] pinwheel. I can't even really picture that. As they attempted to grab Bruder and pull him into the boat, the shark charged again, grabbing Charles at his abdomen and pulling him down under the water before he emerged again. Yeah. [47:29] And to the surprise of the lifeguards, Charles Bruder... [47:34] managed to shout a shark bit me holy shit so they managed to get a hold of him and lift him onto the boat wow and they were surprised by how light he was but of course once they got him in the boat they realized he was so easy to come from the water because there was very little of him to lift from the water how horrible as they carefully laid him on the floor of the boat they realized he was missing both legs both were ripped off at the knees and there was a huge chunk missing from his

[48:04] Also, how fucking terrifying to be in that boat. [48:14] I can't even fathom this. That shark could just eat that whole boat. Yeah, look what he just did. Unfortunately, the carnage was just too great and the wounds too severe to stop with strips of fabric. I mean, a chunk missing from your stomach and two missing legs. Despite the massive... [48:29] This blows my mind. And this is... [48:32] I for this man I wish this was not true because despite all of it the massive damage he sustained and the copious amounts of blood just pouring from him he remained conscious throughout the entire ordeal and even managed to describe the shark for lifeguards and wait until you hear how he describes it. [48:52] And picture him in your head, what he is going through. He said he was a big gray fellow and rough as sandpaper. He cut me here in the side and his belly was so rough it bruised my face and arms. He's a big fellow and awfully hungry. [49:08] Oh. I don't know why that just, like, breaks my heart. Not the shark being a fellow. He's a big fellow. And he's awfully hungry. Even he was like, he's very hungry. Oh. Like... [49:18] Holy shit. This is just... [49:20] devastating. And when he finished speaking, he closed his eyes and finally lost consciousness. By the time the boat had reached the shore, he was dead. Yeah. Now, even to those familiar with the behavior of sharks, it seemed unlikely that one would travel such a long distance in a relatively short amount of time just to find food when there was plenty of fish in the Beach Haven area. Did it have anything to do with the storm? That could definitely be it. But in the wake of Bruder's death, it was impossible for anyone, reporters and beachgoers,

[49:50] the same to ignore that there was a connection here between the beach haven attack and the attack on charles brooder yeah they're like this can't be two different sharks also there was something about these attacks that seemed atypical [50:02] Because in most cases of shark attacks, humans are bitten when they are mistaken for the shark's natural food source, or because they have provoked the attack. In these cases, though, it seemed like the animal was actively stalking human prey, striking again and again, long after it would have realized it had bitten into something other than a seal or food. [50:23] Do you think it just didn't care at that point because it was so hungry? I think that might have been it because that is very atypical for a shark. Once it realizes you're a human... [50:32] Nine times out of ten, it's really not going to want to continue. Interesting. Like, it's... You did that. I mean, like Soul Surfer, like, it was for ARM. It's like that. That's what an exploratory bite is. It's a bite to be like, oh, shit, this is... Yeah. And then it's like, oh, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, oh, that's not what I usually go for. And yeah, maybe in a small amount of the time, it'll make the... [50:50] the decision to just keep going. But nine times out of 10, it doesn't want to. I wonder if in this case, and it sounds like crazy, but I wonder if in this case it was out of desperation. Yeah. It was just so hungry. Right. Yeah. [51:01] But like you said, there's fish elsewhere, but maybe not. But if it's big enough. But if it's something big. Right. You know, because they I mean, I think great whites attack seal populations. Yeah. And I'm sure these people like from their point of view look like seals. Now, unlike the previous attack, the attack on Charles Bruder inspired a panic, not just to everyone in the water and on the beach that day, but those staying at resorts and vacation spots all over Jersey Shore. You're literally going to enjoy the shore. Yeah.

[51:31] where the attack occurred, armed lifeguards patrolled the waters just beyond the safety ropes. And the village administration also approved the use of heavy mesh wire netting, which was run all along the bathing area near the Essex and Sussex Hotel. Oh, that's like so inhumane. I know. In other places, bathers and swimmers became hypervigilant, with some choosing to stay out of the water altogether, which like, yeah. In Ashbury Park, a lifeguard in a surf boat told reporters he encouraged a large shark about 12 feet long while patrolling the bathing [52:01] of the beach, which he drove off by hitting it on the snout with his oar. Mean! I know. The scene was witnessed by several people on the shore who saw the lifeguard slapping up the water with his oars right before he returned to the beach to warn the bathers. I mean, at least he was like trying to deter him. He's just trying to get him away, you know. Despite the precautions put in place by state and local authorities, many swimmers remained wary of going too far out in the water. One local journalist wrote, expert opinion has been freely offered and much of it has been [52:31] and largely related to fiction. And there's been considerable speculation here today as to whether it was really a shark that attacked Charles Bruder at Spring Lake. Guys, it was a shark both times. In fact, just like the Van Zandt attack, many people found it hard to believe that a shark, something that existed more... [52:49] especially at this point in time. Because you have to remind yourself of the time period. 1916. [52:55] Sharks existed more in the imagination of people than in real life. People were just running around seeing sharks. They couldn't believe that it had done something so horrific that that's the outcome. They chose instead to believe, which I don't really understand this part, that...

[53:09] They chose to believe that the attack was something more common and familiar, like a fucking tuna. [53:15] Or a big turtle. [53:17] Yeah, I don't know. Neither of which was known to rip people limb from limb without provocation. Right. [53:23] So I don't know why that felt more comfortable for everybody. [53:26] It doesn't feel more comfortable for me to lay my head at night thinking a turtle did that. No, definitely not. Or a large tuna. A large tuna is almost scarier. Yeah. I just think of The Office, too, because Andy calls Jim Big Tuna. And at one point, he wants to get his attention. He just goes, Large Tuna. And I just think of it every time I hear this. I'm just like, I'm not just thinking of Jim Halpert out in the sea biting people. Just nom-nobbing. [53:56] Now, like a scene pulled straight from Jaws many decades later, the panic and fear inspired by the shark attacks grew quickly from a whisper to a full fucking fever pitch to the point that it became an actual material threat to the resorts and local business. I mean, yeah, that makes sense. [54:14] They were fearing that reservations were going to be canceled. Right. And to their credit, many within the local press did do their best to report the facts in like a calm and rational tone. Yeah. Reminding visitors that the appearance of sharks near the shore was very rare. Right. [54:27] The Ashbury Park Press reminded readers, never in the history of local bathing have sharks been known to frequent the bathing waters, but every precaution to ensure safety of the bathers will be taken. Now, despite the reasonable attempts to protect the bathers and the relatively even tone on the matter from the press, the public's fear of sharks was only growing, especially following the Bruder attack.

[54:57] attack a man. By that point, whether they would or wouldn't attack a human seemed like a settled matter. So several news outlets shifted their attention to how swimmers could protect themselves. Okay. The Times quoted one sailor as saying, it's no use trying to dodge a shark when you're in the water. The best thing you can do when a shark comes along, if you can't get out of the water in time, is to shout as loud as you can and to splash the water with your hands and feet. No. Apparently, it never occurred to the sailor that it was precisely that behavior that had drawn the [55:27] and brooder in the first place isn't it again we didn't know anything right so i think they're probably thinking of it like a fucking bear yeah if you just like no bang bang clang clang no like if you do that to a i mean not all bears react i was literally just gonna say that black bears i think because black bears are more scared of you if you do that to a grizzly bear it'll a grizzly bear will fuck you up no matter what you do you stand still it kills you you come across [55:57] don't know what any advice to tell you but you know what i picked the grizzly bear [56:01] Oh, yeah. In that whole scenario, I pick the grizzly bear. But if black bear, we have black bears all over the place. I actually saw one last summer. They're so fucking cute. They're really cute. Luckily, I was in the comfort of my car and passing by. You don't ever want to go near one. No, leave them alone. You want to get the fuck out of there. You don't want to deal with the bear. But they don't want to deal with you either. No. [56:18] It was actually a baby that I saw. Oh, yeah. You want to stay the fuck away from that? I sure did. I was in my car and we kept driving, but I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. The girls will never... [56:26] in our lives, forgive John's ignorance to that fact. We were driving down, we were in the Berkshires, actually, visiting the Berkshires.

[56:35] And we saw a baby bear, a black bear, out the, like, in the woods right next to our car when we were, like, parked somewhere. Yeah. And John, John loves a furry creature. He got out of the car. [56:47] and was like oh my god look at this you're like get in the car three of the girls were like and i was like get back to the car he's like it's a baby and i was like exactly i didn't even have to say it all three of my kids were like mama's around getting the bear like they were like get in the fucking car it's like a bluey episode to this day they're like remember when dad got out of the car and wanted to say hi to a baby bear when you know the mom was around and would have [57:17] a creek by himself. Oh yeah, just into a crick. Just out there. A casual crick. I'm trying to call him. I'm like, he's gonna die in a crick somewhere. And the girls are like, he didn't even bring his phone. I know, we're all just like, Jesus. The girls, one thing about the girls is they will read John to filth. Poor John. [57:32] It's the best. John is both the luckiest and unluckiest. Because he lives in a house. It is my three daughters. Yep. Me. And the two girl dogs. Two girl dogs and my mother-in-law. He has... [57:48] And he loves it. I was going to say, that's why he's such a good guy. Yeah, he would have it no other way, but damn, can we all get enough fun? You know what, though? Shout out to all dads, but shout out to the girl dads. Yeah, shout out to all dads and shout out to the girl dads because you're a special breed. It's true. You know? It's true. And we give him so much shit and he takes it. I love it. Shout out to John. And sometimes he even gets me giving him shit. He does. I know. The girls the other day, they were like, Dadda, what does Titi call you? And he goes...

[58:17] uh mostly like brunkel or jonathus and oh dad when she needs help yeah dad when she needs help i always call john down when i need help because he'll always go ashlena ashlena i'm like okay dad sorry you're like dad i don't know what to do i saw this wait just one more fucking side tangent before we get there i saw this tiktok the other day that was like me since i've known my brother-in-law since i was nine years old and i was like that's literally me and it's like fighting with your [58:47] It's so true. Like, he's my longest standing family. [58:51] Literally. I love that a lot. Anyway, elsewhere in New Jersey and New York, others were taking more extreme measures to solve the problem. [59:00] This upsets me. Oh, tell me they didn't shoot them. Fishermen set out in droves to hunt and kill anything that even resembled a shark. Oh. One reporter wrote, the bathers were quite satisfied to have men in motorboats guarding the waters, and they didn't care whether the game was bagged or not, so long as no sharks appeared near shore. Here's the thing. The ocean isn't ours. It's not ours. The ocean isn't ours. We're lucky they let us the fuck in there in the first place. Go swim in a lake. Truly. Go jump in a puddle. I know. Fill up your bathtub. Me? [59:30] I know my place. The ocean's not mine. The ocean is not my place. I also recently heard that there's black holes in the ocean. [59:37] That's the fucking weirdest and scariest thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, I don't know if it's fact because I did hear it on TikTok. Probably not. But honestly... Let me confirm. The fact that I have to sit there and say... Question it. Could be true. I'm going to ask. Because I don't think anything is impossible in the ocean. No, we don't know enough about the ocean. I think the ocean is...

[59:57] So much scarier than space. [1:00:00] Okay, so there are no, and this is from Google, there are no literal astronomical black holes in the ocean. Yeah, I was going to say, there can't be links. But scientists have discovered massive ocean eddies that act very similar to them. Which makes sense. These powerful, swirling whirlpools, particularly found in the Southern Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico, create coherent boundaries that trap water and debris, preventing anything from escape. [1:00:23] Yeah, no. So that's, it's like an ocean black hole. That really is. Ocean black holes, whirlpools, trenches. Yeah. No. No. It's not for me. It's not. I know that. You can barely drive on the road anymore without there being sinkholes. I respect it. Something's up. I really do. Something's up. Now, by July 11th, the waters around the Jersey Shore were teeming with boats, either filled with lifeguards or fishermen, all keeping their eyes firmly on the surface of the water. That's not nice. [1:00:53] while the boats and fishermen suggested the waters were safe for everyone and there was nothing to fear. The truth, though, was that despite the massive crowds of fishermen on the water, not a single one caught anything during this period. In fact, as they would come to learn, sometimes the illusion of safety isn't good enough. And what they really should have done was advised everyone to get the fuck out of the water until the problem was solved. Close the water. [1:01:19] And that's where we're going to leave you for part one. Because part two, we have a whole other series of attacks called the Matawan Creek attacks.

[1:01:30] Not a crick. We were just talking about a crick, and now we're going to be in a crick. See, our side quest worked out. And we have more. [1:01:36] Wow, this was really, really sad in every possible way that it could be. [1:01:42] fascinating like truly fascinating that bit about the heartbeat i never knew that before and i've never oh my god short week i think [1:01:55] I've watched a shit ton of Shart Week. I swear, I think that's what I just said. And it took me a minute to. I think you did say Shart Week. Not Shart Week. [1:02:09] It's not shart week. It's like Greek hazing is shart week. [1:02:15] Okay, okay. Holy shit. Skirt. Oh, man. I've watched a shit ton of Shark Week. Me too. I love Shark Week. But I don't think I've ever heard that fact that they hear your heartbeat and they're like, game on. Like, game on. I'm here. Yeah, it really is. That kind of stuff is always the most fascinating to me where it's like... [1:02:34] When, like, when it's just, like, something so biological and, like, evolutionary that just, like, you can't even conceive of. Right. That they can just, like, hear your heartbeat underwater. Wild. Like, going underwater, you can't hear someone's heartbeat. But those fuckers can. Yeah, they can. And to know that's something... I think it's, like, so scary... [1:02:52] When it's so innocuous. To know something else has something over you. Yeah. Evolution-wise, you know what I mean? Like, that fact is like, oh, we... No, respect. Like, I'm just like, that's when I go, I don't belong in here. I don't belong in this water. I firmly believe the ocean's not for us. It's not. It's certainly not for me. I love to look at it. Oh, yeah. You can... That's the thing. Look at it. Yeah, I will look at it. I will...

[1:03:18] Wave to it. Respect it. If you want to go in the ocean, by all means go in the ocean, but respect it because it's not for you. Yeah, just make sure you're respecting it. Because fuck, the ocean is the ocean. The ocean is the ocean. And part two, it's going to get [1:03:32] It's going to get crazy. It is going to get crazy. But we'll have a resolution. Do you have a fun fact? I do have a fun fact. Mikey texted us one about bananas. Mikey found... [1:03:40] an iconic... [1:03:42] I'm obsessed with this fact. I hope you guys don't know it. So humans share about 60% of their DNA. [1:03:50] with bananas. Does that make you feel kind of weird about eating bananas? [1:03:53] A little bit. You know what I'm saying? Also, there's an episode of Kif that is one of the funniest episodes of anything I've ever seen. Which one is it? I think it's called The Rotten Banana. I haven't seen that one. And it's about a sentient banana. Stop. Who like tries to take Kif over and like [1:04:10] It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. If you're kids, honestly, if you're not watching Kif. Yeah. I think we've talked about it once before, but I'm telling you. Go watch The Rotten Banana. We had a whole sleepover at my house for the girls recently, and it was all Kif themed. And it was one of the best sleepovers we've ever had. Hell yeah, it was. Yeah. [1:04:28] It was iconic. Hell yeah. So yeah, we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you morph into a banana because you're already pretty fucking close. You're real close. Careful. And respect the ocean. Respect the ocean. [1:04:43] And sharks. And shark week.

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